I am 41 and pregnant with our fourth. We have three other kids ages 6, 4, and almost 2. We always talked about four kids, so there were no surprises here and I knew it was now or never. While my other three pregnancies had minor challenges, this one has completely turned my world upside down. Ok, perhaps that's a bit of an exaggeration. From week five to fourteen, I dealt with debilitating morning sickness and watched my family fall apart while I moved from the couch, to the bathroom, to my bed. Nothing so unusual (as I now know), but exhausting nonetheless.
I am now 25 weeks and never got that burst of energy in the second trimester. Despite my blood work being ok (I was low iron over a month ago but it has since gone up to 11), I feel like I am just dragging myself every day. Yes, I have some good days, but mostly I feel tired, not fully present with my husband or kids, and when I am out walking, I move slowly and stop frequently. I was a healthy weight before I became pregnant but not in tip-top shape by any means. I maintain a healthy diet and take vitamins, though probably don't drink nearly enough water as I should. I guess I could chalk it all up to age, except that I have friends who have sailed through pregnancy at my age, and friends in their twenties and thirties who were miserable.
I recently developed a weak strand of whooping cough, and seem to have mild stomach bugs on and off...I feel like anything going around, coughs, colds, etc, I am picking up! So, do you really think it's all about age? That's what my mom keeps saying...I am just finding myself feeling upset that I always seem to be dragging...it isn't fair to anyone, and I am starting to worry that maybe I have some low-level depression going on.
Honey, you're 41, pregnant, and you've got 3 other kids. First of all, kudos to you. Second, I do think it's about age.
i'm sorry, hon. it would be so nice to enjoy what will probably be your final pregnancy, but it looks like this one is just being a doozy, and that's that.
did your family really fall apart when you had a tough period? surely not. your kids are small, but needing some time to be flat out on the couch while you cope with pregnancy symptoms shouldn't really devastate them, not if your husband has your back (and he does, right?)
don't take on guilt with your morning sickness and fatigue. you're growing a human, and while you're still a young woman it IS more work when you're over 40. give yourself some grace.
pregnancies are so individual. it may have something to do with your age, but you were smart enough to keep yourself in good physical shape for this pregnancy, so i'm sure it's a combination of things. mostly involving this just being a challenging pregnancy.
trust your kids to hang in there, lean on your husband (and any friends or family who can step up), rest, be good to yourself, and don't beat yourself up. stop worrying about 'fair'. it doesn't really apply, does it?
good luck, mama! you got this!
khairete
S.
My last pregnancy was around your age. It was harder for sure. Older, more kids to look after, my job was more demanding (more responsibility) and the housework was tenfold compared to when I started.
Do you nap? I had to nap. I never had before, but it became part of my day. It improved my mood immensely.
My husband just kept the kids occupied. Or I'd put a movie on, and take an afternoon siesta while he made supper. I am ok with hotdogs and KD in a pinch, so I just let everything go that was worth letting go, so that I was rested. I often got into my pajamas when I got home, and just vegged out in the room my kids were in, so at least I was present - but feet up.
Give yourself permission to do that. If your iron is low, it can really take a while to get it back up and feel decent. It was a problem for me in my last pregnancy. Make sure you eat the right foods and plenty of them, and take supplements for it.
Staying hydrated - I just kept a water bottle on me at all times. If not, I'd never actually go and pour myself a drink of water.
I had to give in and drink coffee - just a small cup in morning - with my last child. I was super healthy with my others, but I couldn't function without it to kickstart my day. I was just happier.
If your sleep is off that can affect your mood and energy levels too. My husband made me up a bed in our guest room and that's where I spent the last half of my pregnancy. I was getting hot, uncomfortable and just kept waking up, so we both slept better. But the naps helped make up for lost sleep at night when I had a restless night.
Good luck :) We moms put ourselves last sometimes - pregnancy shouldn't be one of those times :)
Even more than your age I think it has to do with the fact that you have three very young children to care for during this pregnancy. I mean an almost two year old is practically still a baby! And a four and six year old as well? Of course you are exhausted, run down and prone to getting sick :-(
I hope your husband is stepping up. I hope you have housekeeping help, and maybe even a sitter or mother's helper to come in a few times a week so you can just sleep.
Every pregnancy is different.
And being over 40 and having 3 prior children does take it out of you.
Your kids are young and it takes energy to tend to them.
Not to mention being worn out and sick.
You need to rest as much as you can.
Get a baby sitter to watch the other kids sometimes so you can sleep, relax, take a bath, see a movie - what ever leaves you rested and relaxed.
This is what happens when you take care of everyone but yourself.
You NEED some ME time to rest and recuperate.
Hi! You have 3 kids ages 6 and under. Your youngest is only 2 and you're 25 weeks pregnant. Of course you're tired and dragging. I don't think anything about this is abnormal. Do you exercise? I know that exercise makes a huge difference in how you feel during pregnancy. If you can't get to the gym, get a prenatal workout DVD and do it at home during naptime, or first thing in the morning. The workout will boost your mood and energy level. Hang in there!
Hang in there!!!! Every pregnancy is different but hopefully they all end with a happy healthy baby in your arms. Be kind to yourself and enlist as much help around the house as you can to care for your older children. Anyone who was pregnant with #4 while already having 3 young children would be exhausted too.
Your family needs to step up. YOU need to make a person inside your body and they need to step up and help out.
Take a deep breath and give yourself a break. It's most likely....age. You have 3 kids under the age of 7, you're pregnant AND you're 40? Honey, I'll send you the medal myself. Eat well, rest & walk around the block when hubby get shome. You're the norm. Rest when you can. If anyone offers help, take them up on it. Even if you have to go to the library & sleep in your car. ;) You wil be ok. Take care of yourself (rest, water, sleep, eating well). You will be ok. Best wishes!
My mom was around your age when she was pregnant with me, and while she had "morning" sickness with her other pregnancies, it was the worst with me. The whole colds thing is a sign that your immune system has taken a back seat in order to not attack the baby. That could actually be a good sign-- it might even mean you have a lower chance for preeclampsia, which can be a problem with later pregnancies. Although it stinks because you have to be careful what meds you take! (Tons of hand washing, etc.!) And of course your hormones aren't normal either, so being depressed probably isn't abnormal, particularly when you don't feel good. But you can do this!!! Go to all your visits with a good OB, mention all your concerns, and I bet you'll be just fine. Just treasure your baby. My mom had a couple of doctors tell her that she should abort me because she was too old. Am I glad she told them what to do with that idea!! I was perfectly healthy, and my mom was fine except for GD, so later pregnancies don't have to result in poor health, and my "older" mom did a great job of raising me.
