Pre-school Question Does This Seem Right or Fair?

The rule in most schools especially public schools (will she go next year?) is if kids are not well enough to participate in EVERY part of school they are not well enough to attend that day.

If you felt it was better for her to stay inside, she should have stayed home. If any student is unable to participate with the general guidelines and activities for the day, then they need to stay home. Yes, it would have been great if they had an extra teacher to stay inside with her, but they didn't. You are being unreasonable to think that their reaction wasn't what it was.

If she is too sick to go outside then she should have been at home. It is really not the teachers responsibility to stay back for one kid. Most pre schools have a certain teacher student ratio, based on the number of kids that they have. My daughters pre school is this way. This is probably why all the teachers were needed outside.

You know that playing outside is a major part of their curriculum/day, so if you don't want her to play outside, why would you send her back to school? What good would it be if she sat inside by herself with a teacher all morning while all her friends play outside?
If she is ready to go back to school, she should be able to take part in going outside. Unless you specifically asked on the phone before you brought her, if she could stay inside and they told you to bring her and they would keep her in - I don't think it is unfair or unreasonable of them to expect that you child will take part in their regular activities.

for me, returning to school....means "full-duty". It's unfair to expect the staff to base their day around catering to your child. I know that you called & got the okay to return....but you did not make your special request for inside activities until you were there. By not providing the school with this "upfront", you changed the rules of engagement & ended up paying the price for it.

You know what the curriculum is.....& you made your choice. Not their fault!

I wouldn't get mad about it. It makes sense to me that if they are normally outside, they have staffing to have all the kids outside. If your daughter is unable to go outside as usual, she should stay home, rather than expect them to change their ways. Did you make it clear when you called that you wanted her to stay in and they okayed that? Then I would be annoyed.

I imagine if kids are late, their parents can bring them outside to the teachers and if kids are sick they shouldn't be there in the first place. I understand why you aren't happy, of course, but I don't think they are being unreasonable.

I personally think you put your child in a abnormal school and you seem to have known that up front. You can't really expect them to change up their curriculum for just your daughter because she has a residual cough. I think 1 adult to 3 toddler is good. Now I think 1 adults to 4 toddlers.. while one teacher stays in with a child that isn't really sick anymore isn't responsible on their behalf. I'd take issue with my children not being watched as proper because some other child had a residual cough and the mom wanted the program to change because of it. I'd expect my 3 to 1 ratio.. not 4 to 1.

It's kinda like the whole boot thing in elementary school. If you don't have boots on when all the kids go to recess you must stay on the black top and pretty much stand around. I don't think the kids who did wear their boots should get a new program because one child forgot their boots. That's not fair and I knew going in that if my child didn't have boots that was their fate.

I personally think you are being unreasonable. I understand it's hard being a mama and wanting to protect them but if you think the child shouldn't be doing it's daily activities maybe it isn't best to send them back yet. In public elementary school no such concessions would ever be made. If the child can't participate they are sent home ill or sent back to class if the nurse deems it and that is the end of the story.

M.,

I'll just put it out there.... you seem to have a lot of upset and trouble related to your daughter's preschool. Maybe it's time to look elsewhere?

What sort of answer are you wanting? (I was instructed not to "analyze the poo" out of this...?) From my professional viewpoint, I'd say that many preschool programs have outdoor play as a critical component of their curriculum; some of them are outdoors all day with a fire to keep warm. My preschoolers went out every day for at least an hour except for in cases of inclement weather. My families, by and large, knew that if their child could not be outside, they should keep them home.

The issue is the communication piece between yourself and whomever you spoke with yesterday. They obviously didn't have the correct information for you. One thing to take away from this is to *always* ask to be connected to the classroom and speak directly with a lead teacher before making any decision such as this. The office admin aren't always in tandem with the classroom, inasmuch as the front desk receptionist of any business will not know the ins and outs of more specific areas. (We just paid the price on this recently when receiving actual information regarding my son's insurance coverage for an evaluation: we were given grossly incorrect information and it cost us an extra hundred dollars. MY fault for not going to the horse's mouth. Bad on the receptionist for not saying "I don't know", but she *thought* she knew correctly, too. )

Personally, I'd be annoyed about the mix-up, but knowing that outdoor play was a significant part of the day, I would have kept my child home. I couldn't expect to have one teacher gone from the rest of the group for the day. Having worked with teams of other teachers before, I can tell you that even one teacher missing throws the routine of the rest of the group off. We all have our own routine jobs during the day.

I'll just add, M., once again, that I'm not sure if this is an upset rant or if you want advice. I read your "so what happened" and I'm not sure what you are wanting from people here. Simply put, you decided that your daughter was well enough to go to school but asked for exemptions to be made to accomodate that. From my preschool teachers standpoint, I'd put that in the category of "Needs to stay home another day or so". Sorry, but that's just the way I see it.

I have worked 13 years in child care and our policy's are much like any schools policy's. In child care every child is required to go outside every day. The state reg's say if a child is too sick to go outside they are too sick to be attending that day. That's just the way it is.

She needed to stay at home or go outside. She went outside to go to and from school. Strep is not from going outside so she will not get sick again with that unless she picks it up from someone else.

The moisture from being outside will likely help her with the goo if she is having congestion in her nose or lungs too. So if she is coughing later or has a runny nose it is due to the moisture loosening it up, then it is easier to get out.

If you specifically asked if there would be a teacher that could stay inside with your daughter and they clearly said yes, there would be special accomodations made for your daughter today, then I would be annoyed. But if it wasn't that specific a conversation, then you have to let it go. No way should you expect a teacher to stay inside with your daughter unless they'd already said it was no problem etc. It's also possible that given your other posts, there's some resentment from the teachers so as you've said you're not going to bend over backwards ever for teachers, they're not going to bend over backwards for you either. You seem annoyed with this school often and it likely shows so maybe you should find a new one.

I used to teach kindergarten and when parents wanted their kid to stay in from recess, our response was "If they are well enough to be at school, they should be well enough to play outside". However, now as a parent, I understand your concern. Unfortunately, if the premise of the preschool is that they are going to be outside, then I think you need to understand they are going to be outside.

It may not have been their fault that they didn't have an extra teacher that day. Preschools/day cares create their staff schedule based on enrollment so if enrollment is going to be lower on any given day, they may send someone home or not have as many staff there. Is this a SCHOOL or a DAY CARE, perhaps both?

I understand how you would be upset, but I don't think you can really do anything about it because you made the choice to send your child to an outdoor preschool.

Yes you are being unreasonable. Your child should not go to school unless she is capable of participating in all the activities they have planned.

It wouldn't bother me for her to be outside. My youngest son's preschool spends a good deal of time outside and taking walks. If I didn't feel he should be doing those things, he would stay home. If your child cannot fully participate in school activities, then she should stay at home.

I feel like if kids are well enough to go to school they should be well enough to participate in all of the activities. Outdoor, indoor... whatever. If you didn't want her to play outside you should have kept her home or specified over the phone. Then they could have told you whether they were able to accommodate you or not. If you did ask and they told you she could stay inside, I might be bothered by the two different answers, but to be honest I probably wouldn't have expected that in the first place.

I think this is at their discretion, especially given the nature of the preschool. My daughter goes to a Montessori school and they are very focused on being outdoors everyday unless it is below freezing, which I think is great. My older public school child hardly gets recess if it isn't 60 degrees and sunny - bunch o' wimps in my opinion! If I thought my daughter was going to be aggrevated by cold air, I would just keep her home. I do find it weird that they don't have a teacher or administrative type inside for other situations (late arrivals or who get sick), but I can understand their desire to not set a precedent of personnally accomodating you. I empathize with your annoyance, but I think they are in the right and you should not be upset for this.

It sounds like the kiddos are outside from 8 until after 10 am (maybe 10:30 or 11 am?). This means that out of 3.5 hours of preschool, your kid would be able to participate in about .5 to 1 hour if she couldn't go outside. At some schools, the outside time is not as extensive, and you might have a reason to be peeved. At this school, outside time seems to be their raison d'etre, so if you don't want your kid to be outside, then you should keep her home.

Summary: The preschool acted appropriately (i.e., they were "right" or "fair").

You might want to consider a different school that isn't so nature oriented.

The reason no teachers are remaining inside for one sick child is because there are probably guidelines for ratio of teacher to student that they have to adhere to. I'd check on the State of MN's website if your teachers can not confirm this.

As one mom to another, yes, I'd be peeved that my child who may be more susceptible to getting sick again has to play outside, but in the big scheme of things, the school/daycare probably made its policies and philosophies clear at the time you chose to send her there. If they are outside oriented, this is going to be the norm.

Maybe it's time to find a different daycare that better fits your parenting style when it comes to illnesses. I live in Minnesota too, and for the last month my oldest has had the awful crud going around that includes a cough too. And no, he has not been allowed to go outside in this weird nasty, cold and heavy wet rain. I'm certain weather is a factor in his illness dragging on...and any good MN mom knows that sometimes hanging outside in the middle of December, let alone an unusually damp one, is probably a bad idea. This is pneumonia weather here, not comparable to warmer states with damp winters and very different climates. Right now, our winter is supposed to be dry, crisp and cold with temps in the teen's, instead it's raining (sleeting), cold, foggy, muddy and in low 30s. No way. She needs to be inside. Really they all should be inside, but if "nature" is the school's policy...well hey.

If I were in your shoes, and you are able to do so, I'd just keep her home a few more days, or stay with her at school, and while doing this be on the lookout for a better school with a better policy.

Personally I think it's fine for them to have this rule/policy.
If the goal of the school is to be outside, it makes sense that they wouldn't have a provision to accomodate for the inside.
I don't think they were out of line asking you to stay if you were the one requesting your daughter stay inside.

In the kindest way, it may be that you're request is unreasonable. From my point of view, if a child goes to school, he/she should be able to participate with the rest of the class in their normal, everyday activities. If they have a reason to not be participating as the other chilren are, they are probably not able to go to school that day. Sure, the teachers could try to work something out for one of them to stay inside if it was possible, but they certainly don't have to. If they weren't able to accomodate your request, try to be understanding that they have a valid reason. They are there to teach the whole class, and need to be with the class as a whole. Send your daughter when she is well enought to participate in the regularly scheduled activities/day.

.

I wouldn't be mad, peeved at myself yes. As licensed facilities have adult to kid ratios that MUST be adhered to. So if they did not plan for someone to stay inside and I requested it the same day then no I would not be mad. I would wish I'd have asked before I brought my kids in.

I am sorry but you are being unreasonable. Day cares have rules of child/adult ratio. If you expect one to stay inside with one child, it makes them short on help outside and that could be dangerous to the other children. The only other way is to have all the kids or as many as it takes to have the ratio right to stay inside with your child and is that fair? The cold air won't make your child as sick as being shut indoors with all the germs in the warm air. If you have hat and gloves and a scarf for your child, she shouldn't have a problem being outside unless she has breathing troubles. I wouldn't be angry at all with them, I would be glad that they care enough about the children's safety to follow the rules.

I would be upset, personally. I would think they would have someone on staff for those type of situations, and only 9 kids..and there are 3 teachers..umm whoa! I can see how you're upset, especially considering she just got over being sick, and keeping kids sick free this time of year is hard enough as it is. And you don't wanna keep her home an extra day if you don't absolutely have to..so yeah, I completely see why you're upset, I def would be too. Maybe you could write a letter of suggestion, maybe prevent the situation from happening again, to you or someone else.

Sounds like a cool curriculum.

Well I would have never thought about them not having a way for them to stay inside with a slightly ill student.

But I guess if it is a small school and focused on this type of curriculum, they are all working on planned projects, they could really not be equipped for this.

At our daughters daycare they may have been able to place a child in a lower aged room for a few minutes like 30 minutes but not an hour or 2. Those teacher have their own classes and children to watch also a limit to children per room.

It is a little like elementary school is going to be. If your child is not able to participate all day in each activity, you will need to keep your child home.

My husband trys to tell my kids they have to stay inside at recess if he thinks it is too cold. I always tell him that if the class goes outside, they go outside. Otherwise he is welcome to take leave and stay home to keep them inside. He sends them to school.

If you called and they told you what they did, I'd be mad. I send my kids to school with a slight cough too and know the cold can make it worse. So I try to just bundle them up and give them cough meds before and after school.

Good luck!

If I called before hand and was told that one teacher is usually inside and then was told there wasn't. I would have questioned then and there, then dropped it. I completely understand where your coming from!! Yes kids can be well enough to be at school, but its not always best for them to be outside! Its the same at our house today as it is at yours and I wouldn't want my just getting over sick child to be outside for very long... I wouldn't want my healthy child to be outside today either! While it is warm for this time of year ( Im loving it!) the air is still really wet and damp and could lead to them getting sick. Im sure you are not the only parent that has felt this way there.

You're wise to be concerned!

But it's an old wives' tale that cold air makes or keeps you sick.
Studies show that indoor air carries a lot more germs, allergens, etc. and kids who are indoors too much are the ones who get sick more often!

If she sits outside, bundled up and resting, that should not aggravate her cold.

Ask the staff how sick kids are taken care of outdoors. Be open and curious, not mad, until you find out what's really going on. Usually, teachers just let kids recuperate by letting them lie on a bench or cushion outdoors. I do this myself when I'm feeling a little crappy.

If your daughter was truly sick, I'm sure you'd keep her home anyway.

If your kid goes to a nature preschool (they're great!) then you need to make sure you send her with appropriate clothing and feed her a healthy breakfast to keep her energy up.

If you called them and they were ok with it. I would have reminded them of that fact.

I agree with you that it was bad communication on the preschool's part. I have the SAME problem with my kids' preschool. (Not letting my kid play outside bc he didn't have snow pants, when there's no snow on the ground.)

But, I also wholeheartedly agree with others who say that your child should not have been in preschool that day. A "goopy cough" means that SHE'S SICK. Not being "that sick" means SHE'S STILL SICK. There's NO question about that. And, SHE'S CONTAGIOUS. What the preschool should've said is that you should just leave your daughter at home.