Practical Divorce Advice

Updated on September 06, 2007
M.A. asks from Chicago, IL
4 answers

Hello,

Due to my husband's drinking problem, I am contemplating a divorce. I of course am taking steps to help him with the drinking, save the marriage,counseling etc. but there are some practical things I want to consider as I am not sure if things will change for the better. Currently, I have 2 savings accounts in my name only, 1 joint account, 1 joint credit card, 1 personal savings bond, 1 personal growth and income account. Our mortgage on our condo is in his name only-does this hurt or help me? Most of the bills are set up in his name(which I pay) but a few items are in my name only or joint(student loans, credit card) Anyhow, if anyone has been through this or has a legal background and can give me some advice, that would be great. I'm just trying to keep my head above water. Also, we have 2 separate vehicles but have car insurance through the same company that covers our condo insurance. He often drinks and drives and I am contemplating seperate insurance for my own protection(yes, and I know first and foremost is to get him to stop drinking and driving and I'm desperately trying)

Any advice would be helpful. thanks

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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

I cannot tell you what to do about the finances since I am far from being an expert in these matters. But have you tried looking into homeopathic meds to help wean the addictive behaviors? They are far more effective than any med you can get from a conventional physician. I have personal experience with this so I am speaking first hand. If you would like info I would be happy to give you a private referral of someone who is awesome. I am sorry your husband is having such a difficult time with this. Stay strong and try to stick behind him if you have the stength to do so. He needs your support now more than ever before. Good luck and may G-d grant you strength and clarity.

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B.

answers from Chicago on

Hi there. I do not have any legal information or advice. I am a woman who grew up around alcoholocs my whole life - both parents, grandparents, a brother in recovery, and 2 other siblings who have issues with drinking. The things that I know about living through it on many levels that if your husband does not want to stop, he is not going to stop. No matter what trick you pull out of your hat, it is up to him to want to stop. I am sure that you have heard all of this before.

But you need to take care of you so that you are good not only for you but for your child as well. THere is a therapist in Oak Park - Gregg Kitzis - who is fantastic. He does a certain therapy - Bowen Therapy, Family Systems - that would help your husband more than any other counselor or therapist out there - I promise you. He is a gift. If you are ever in need, for yourself or husband, I would give him a call.

I know that it is not easy what you are going through - alcohol is EVIL. It destroys more things than most drugs. Godd luck... hang in there and just make sure that you take care of you!!!

B

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S.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hi,

I understand what you are going through because my ex is a junkie or was. I think you fear losing your money because of his neglegence with is habit.

I can not give you any legal advice because I am a Paralegal. However, as a mother and wife that has been there I can say protect yourself and your babies. Everything is still community property, and as far as insurance goes call around to different companies and see what there polices are in regards to that type of situation.

I will keep you in my prayers and you keep praying for your family.

Sincerely,

Lauren C.
Justice, IL

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C.P.

answers from Chicago on

Dear M. A -

I don't know where you live, but the Lilac Tree housed at the YWCA in Evanston is a non-profit organization that offers resources, education, and support to women contemplating divorce. They are
thelilactree.org.

I assume that you and kids don't drive with your husband if he has been drinking.

It's good that you are thinking practically on all fronts. Best of luck to you.

Barbara

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