Practical Advice for When Baby #2 Comes

I agree to have the older child "help" as much as possible. They like being big! I always took my kids grocery shopping with me. It really wasn't all that big of a deal after I worked out a system. I would put the toddler in the cart seat and wear the infant in a sling or Mei Tei (sp?). Getting the kids in and out of the car took a bit of time to figure out. What worked for me was to have the toddler behind the driver seat, and the baby behind the passenger seat. To get them out I would unbuckle the toddler first, close thier door, go around the car and get the infant out. While I was getting the infant out the toddler would be crawling out thier seat and over to the infants side of the car and get them both out the same door. For putting them back in the car it was just the reverse of getting them out. Put the toddler in on the babies side, let her crawl into her seat, them go buckle her in.
Something that I learned very quickly was that most of the time the toddlers needs were much more urgent that the babies. It was much better to let the baby cry for a couple of min while I met the toddlers needs so I could sit and nurse the baby in peace.
I would also suggest that you invest in a good sling or babywearing carrier. Then you will be able to hold the baby and still have 2 hands for your older child!
Blessings, K.

If you don't have a boppy, get one. That way when you are nursing the baby you have your hands free to read books with your 2 year old, or sit in the kitchen and feed the older child a snack to have while baby is nursing. When loading into the car, open the door for the 2 year old and have he/she crawl in then close the door and go around and put baby in. THEn go back and buckle the older. That way, the toddler is in the car and you're not worrying about he/she running in the parking lot. Also, venture out to the store immediately after nursing the baby and feeding your older child a snack. This is what worked for me...I have 3 kids 4 and under

If possible, get a minivan or other car with sliding doors. (Are minivans the only ones that have them?) When I had baby #2, having that remote that would unlock the car and slide open the door for me was so great, because I'd be holding the infant seat in one hand, and a toddler's hand in the other. The sliding door is critical because it's hard to maneuver in parking lots when you're trying to open your door in a tight space and get the kids in and buckled.

Other than that, I don't really remember! It passes in a blur. But I know you will be great, so try not to worry too much. You will rise to the occasion.

Hang in there, and congratulations on your new baby.

Reading books and talking about what to expect with the new baby are a good way to prepare your 2 yr old.

Once the baby is born, you definitely want to set aside time each day when your full attention is on your 2 yr old. And once a week or once every other week do something special with just the 2 yr old (trip to the library, playground or even running errands just the 2 of you).

As for when you've got to nurse the baby, you could do a couple things. You could make it out to be a special cuddle time where you, the baby and your 2 yr old are on the sofa together and you read books while nursing. Or, if you have an area where your 2 yr old can play without getting into trouble, just nurse in there.

You definitely want to make your 2 yr old as involved as possible. Bringing you diapers, throwing away diapers, helping with picking clothes, blankets, etc for the day. Maybe even helping with dressing the baby. Even get your 2 yr old a baby doll to diaper, feed and change along with you.

As for loading them into the car, that depends on what kind of car you have and what car seat you're using. If you're using a car carrier for the baby, it only takes a few seconds to snap that in while your 2 yr old sits in the cart. That's something you just need to do a couple times and figure out what works best for you.

I see that you already have a lot of great advice.
-While I nursed I had "special" toys that only came out at that time. I also read my son books, watch a show together, or he could play a electronic game while sitting by me.
-Getting them out of the car: I unbuckle my son then shut his door, go around to the baby's side and get them both out there. Same for getting back in, he gets in her side then I go around to his side to buckle him. That way the older one is in the car not the parking lot. I have a minivan so I slide the front passenger seat ahead all the way so my son can get past the infant seat easier but he can also just bend down and sneak under it.

Have the toddler help with the baby, in their own way of course. Like finding the burp cloth, bringing mommy a diaper, picking up the pacifier when the baby drops it, etc. Get your toddler involved in the baby's routine and soon both routines will blend together. My daughters are 15 months apart and my husband and I work opposite shifts, so it has been tough. But you will all learn to adapt to each other and develop new routines. I have also learned NOT to go to the store with two kids and one parent. It isn't worth the extra time and hassle. Grocery shopping is one of mommy's "outings." Good luck and congratulations.

I found it easiest to make sure older child is confined and safe then deal with baby. For example, put baby in stroller while two year old is still in car seat so you aren't having to keep two year old from getting in the way of the babyseat, ete. When you are using a cart put baby seat on ground and put two year old in cart first so you don't have to keep him from walking off while getting the seat ajusted. It will all depend on the temperment of your kids for the most part, but the little one isn't going anywhere for a while and the two year old can take off at any minute, so keep that in mind;) I would also start right away letting the two year old be part of the baby help. Something as easy as please hand mommy a diaper (even if you can reach it) with a big "oh thanks you are a great helper," makes kids feel so good about themselves and takes the focus off your attention to baby. As far as nursing, make no big deal out of it and your child won't either. You can still read books, and interact with older one. I would not stress too much about the baby being so fragile and let the two year old touch hands, arms head, feet or whatever with a guided hand, so he doesn't get fascanated with it and try every time you turn around. Those are just the few things I will be doing with my kids about the same age apart (17mo and due next mo; that I did with my older ones 12mo. apart. :)

Have a little gift wrapped and ready for your 2 year old. When the baby comes home tell the older child that the baby brought a present just for her/him. Take your two year old shopping now to buy a little gift for the new sibling. Make it something the baby can appreciate quickly. Maybe she/he can just draw something very colorful that you can hang on the wall next to the changing table.

find distractions for the two year old when you are nursing. have toys ready where he/she can reach them. A little t.v. won't hurt.

Don't worry about the car. Both will be in car seats and you take one out at a time. Do you have a double stroller. If not that might be something to consider. For the first year you may not want to do a huge grocery shop with them. Leave them with your husband in the evening and go or enlist a friend. Maybe it's time for mothers day out for the 2 year old.

Remember how you had to adjust when the first one came. You will do that again but it just may be easier because you already are used to being a mom.

Find play groups to make friends. Congrats!

Make sure you are NOT holding the baby the first time your toddler meets him/her. I had the baby in the hospital basinet when my husband brought big brother in to meet her. He thought she was adorable and precious and had no thoughts that he was being replaced by her. Have your toddler pick a special baby toy to give to the baby, then surprise your toddler with a new small toy that is from the baby.

My #2 lived in a sling for the first 6 months of her life! Of course they have soooooo many choices now for slings than they did 10 years ago when I had her... But the idea of keeping her in a sling for me was less about keeping HER happy, but more about keeping my hands free for my toddler's needs.

Always make sure your toddler's basic needs are met before settling in to feed the baby. Otherwise, the toddler will suddenly become hungry or thirsty or want a favorite toy or a movie on, or whatever, and will NOT understand why you can't drop everything to do it right now like you used to.

Any time you can set the baby down to tend to the toddler, do it. The baby will be fine.

We had a rule when we were in a parking lot that the toddler had to TOUCH THE CAR. It's really hard to get a toddler out of a car seat while wrestling with holding a baby (even in a sling), and really hard to get the baby out of the car while worrying about the toddler running out into the street. So my toddler learned to have one hand on the car until I was able to hold his hand. The baby's car seat was on the side with the gas tank, so I'd get the toddler out, walk to the baby's side of the car, and he would put his hand on the square for the gas tank (which was within arms length just in case!) while I got the baby out.

You will need to walk a fine line between showing the toddler that he (she?) is special because he is big enough to do things the baby can't do and still letting him be a little enough to not think he is replaced by the baby. Making him a helper is a good idea, but only if he ENJOYS helping and doesn't feel like he suddenly has a bunch of responsibilities while all the baby has to do is lay there and look cute!

I totally agree with getting a sling/baby carrier. I have 2 boys and did a lot of grocery shopping with #2 in the sling or baby bjorn. (just make sure you put it on before you leave your house so you can be faster in the parking lot!) Also, for grocery shopping, sometimes I would put the infant carrier in the back of the cart and the older one in the seat. It worked great because #2 would sleep most of the time. And, it is amazing how much you can fit around an infant carrier and under your cart!

I also agree with the advice not to make a big deal out of nursing, and to get a nursing cover. If you have to, you can always just make snack time for your toddler the same as nursing time for your baby.

Another thing that worked well for me was to make sure that I had things close at hand. I got a good diaper caddy to keep in my living room, rather than always going upstairs to the changing table. I made sure all of my bathrooms were stocked up with breast pads, sanitary pads, extra underwear for my toddler, etc.

Don't worry if your toddler doesn't want to play that helper role like some big siblings do. My toddler completely ignored my second until he was about 4 months old! ;-) Good luck!

I wouldn't have made it without the sling! That, and a nursing cover--you'll be doing a lot more nursing in public now that you''ll be out more for the older child's activities. Just remember that the older child (well, both actually!) will keep getting bigger and more capable of doing things him/herself--they don't stay forever 2. I had somehow forgotten that when I pictured juggling my two kids!

My son would "nurse" a baby doll when I was nursing the baby--he'd put the doll up to his belly button, then burp the doll, then even put on his pretend nursing pads. It was hilarious!

Good luck--you'll be fine!