Potty Trainning Issues

This is a cry for attention.

Absolutly DO NOT put him back in diapers. A new baby is a tramatic event in a childs life. While understanding that and trying to be a little more attentive to him, you need to let him know that the behavior is NOT okay. I think a combo of time-out and making him clean up the mess EVERY time will nip the problem in the bud quickly.

It is also EXTREEMLY important to communicate with him. Let him know you understand the change is hard on him but how exciting it is at the same time. There are childrens books that directly relate to this issue that would be a good conversation starter at bed time or story time.

If possible give him his own special day or afternoon EVERY WEEK where it's just him and mommy or just him and daddy or just him and mommy and daddy. Just doing the weekly shopping with only him, and allowing him to be a big boy and find items and put them in the cart will work wonders. But remember: no baby.

I have some very good handouts on this issue If you are intrested in receiving them please e-mail me at ____@____.com I would be happy to send them to you.

Hi B.:

It does sound like the new baby sister could be a difficult transition for him.....maybe just place him in pull-ups during the day and reinitiate training in a couple of months or try timed trials of wearing underwear and then pull-ups again....he won't like the change to pull-ups and reassure him that if we have no accidents for a week or two then he won't have to change.

Some children just play so intently that he/she doesn't feel that they have to go until it's too late.....and he's afraid of getting scolded (like any child)......

I hope I've helped

~K.

Hi B.,
I too have had the exact same issues. I have a 6 year old, 4 and 18 month old.My 4 year old used to do that. He would urinate in the toy box, on the floor, and on blankets. I too cauhgt him peeing in the baby bath. So, having said that I am sure you would like to know what I did. well, there wasn't any magic cure and it was gone. First we figured out when he was doing this. We figured out that he was doing it during the night time. So we cut off food and drink an hour before bed time. That worked for the whole night time issues. But the problem was still there. So we watched what was going on during the day. It seemed to me that while I was home things were ok, but the minute I went to work there was problems. So I stated to spend more time with him and things started to get better. We haven't had a problem since. I also think that it may just be something that he grew out of. Don't know if this was much help but it is what worked for us.

C.~ mother of a 6 year old, 4 year old, and 18 months old.

Hi B.-

I have no idea if it would work with your son or not, but you might offer your son a chance to wear diapers again - but not in a shaming sort of way. Kids regress naturally. They make progress towards independence and then fall back for a short period of time. You can see this in toddlers who venture away from mom to explore, but make frequent trips back to reassure themselves in her presence.

Growing up can be exciting, but it can be very scary for kids too. Stressors like a new baby sister could easily make a child worry (how ever unconsciously) that now he is expected to be 'more grown up' than he might feel ready to be. Occasionally offering him the option of choosing diapers instead of 'big boy pants' sends the message that he is allowed to take independence at his own pace and can still be your little guy when he needs to. But you have to be careful not to communicate shame or disappointment, because the offer should be meant to comfort, not punish. If you find yourself feeling that way, that would not be the best time to offer the option to him.

Another thought... 3.5 is quite a young age for a boy to be fully potty trained. I am the mom of a 9 year old boy who took what seemed like a long time. Then I heard from several other moms of boys that they'd had a similar experience and I realized he was pretty 'normal'. Besides, it is just a matter of time before he 'gets with the program' completely... It's not like you see a lot of 20 year olds still walking around in diapers! ;-)

I hope that gives you some food for thought. Good luck and congratulations on the birth of your daughter!

S.

I've had problems with my 4 yr old since the new baby came, although he already has a younger sister I think it's still Mom's not giving us enough attention. He will just wee alittle in his pants before he goes to the toilet he doesn't wee right on the floor.

However my MIL told me she did that once and never again. Corporal punishment worked well on her. I'm a little relectant to go to those extremes (although at times it seemed close)

With your son, I would make him clean it up. And I mean good, not just the dab of a towel. Everything that you do to clean it up, I would make him do it. Maybe after cleaning up his own pee time and again he may think twice about it.

Good Luck, I feel for you.

My son regressed in his potty training when my youngest was born. It set him back a few months. We wanted to have him out of diapers before the new baby came. He was very much for it (I do not believe in pushing them). When my second child was born, he wouldnt go on the toilet at all. I put him right back in diapers. I didnt yell or scold him. Just let him know that this is how it will be until he tells me he is ready. I didnt bring it up again, until he came to me one day and said he wanted to wear his big boy underware. From that day on he had never worn diapers again. I also noticed, compared to the other boys around his age, there werent as many accidents(maybe 1 or 2) compared to the parents that had pushed or yelled at thier children and scared them into being potty trained.I was ready when he was ready. I figured I would rather change diapers then find little surprises around the house or constantly changing bed sheets. I found it also helped to play up the big brother thing. He was very much involved in my 2nd childs daily routine...feeding, changing and bathing. I think it gave him a confidence. It also created a great bond even though there is that 3 yr difference between the boys. I also do not believe that you should punish him for his accidents. If he is having problems...then he goes back to the diapers. Just keep those batman underware in the top drawer until he is ready for them. Maybe bring them out every once in awhile. You dont want to scare him into going to the bathroom, or you may run into issues. Hope this helps!

K. A

My son starting wetting himself at odd time through the day shortly before I delivered baby #2. He has been potty trained for 3 years, so it was a total shock. We ended warning him that if it happened again, we would buy diapers for him. Happened again a few days later, so we bought GIRL pullups for him. He was so embarrassed. He kept saying he wasn't a baby. He never did it again. Hope this helps

my advice would be not to put him back into diapers cuz it might take you along time to get him totally potty trained again. cuz once you put him in diapers he might think its ok to just go in them... i would just wait it out put him in time out where he cant play or have fun.. go in where you put him and remind him why he is there if hes saying he forgot.. my 3 almost 4 says he forgets.. i heard from my mom that its a min per year for time outs. so i do put him in for 4 mins now.. and if he doesnt say sorry for what he did we restart the timer. and before i start it again i remind him why he is there. sooner or later he will say sorry.. have him help you clean up the mess... maybe not with cleaning supplies as its poison. but use water for him and then put him in time out and then you can go clean it good... hope this helped