Potty Training(not Sure Where This Category Is At)

I agree with many posts that he may just not by physically ready. I will also say that with my son (he was three) he seemed to understand the concept and would willingly go quite a bit but every time I seemed to put him in underwear he would pee in them. I started to think that maybe just having something on down below was confusing because he forgot that he couldn't just let it go. So, we did a weekend of nakedness and it finally clicked for him - no more peeing in his pants. That was also the first time he pooped in the potty and we haven't had any trouble with that since then. Good luck!

My experience has been that if you just wait, the child will potty train themselves. This worked for all three of my children and they were trained at night at the same time as day. We tried stickers, etc. But, finally they just decide it's time and they did it.My twins were almost 3 when they potty trained and my last baby was 3.5.

I agree with Amber. I also read somewhere that you are trying to teach him to listen to his own body, so "they" say not to sit for 20 minutes. If he goes it's just coincidentally that he went while he was there. He needs to learn to listen to his body, then walk/run to the bathroom. One of those online books that I actually paid for said to just follow him around constantly and always be with him (wearing underwear) and hurry to the bathroom at the first sign that he needs to go. And if he starts to have an accident on the way to the bathroom just keep walking/running, encouraging him by saying something like "Oh, that belongs in the potty! Let's go!" And, you may have heard this - have him clean up accidents as much as possible - take dirty clothes to the washer, help clean up the floor, etc. This way he has some responsibility in this and he knows that he can't just go in his pants and keep on playing.

I also used a 2 colummn sticker chart: he gets a sticker for "I tried" (when he sits and nothing comes out), and "I did it!" (when he actually goes) That way he may be more interested in continuing to try.

I feel for you - my son was a little over 4 when he was trained. In fact, my other 3 kids were over 3 when they were trained, too. It's not easy but when he's ready it won't be a struggle, you'll have less accidents, he'll get it and you'll be so HAPPY!!!

I swear by 3daypottytraining.com. I used with with great success for both day and night and then 2 of my girl friends used it with their boys. They were a bit skeptical at first, especially when I told them that it worked for nights as well but it worked for both of them. They were both so amazed. Now when any of us here someone having trouble we recommend this method!

I bought stickers and gave them to him if he did the job. To get him to understand at first, or if he refused, I used older siblings as they walked out of the bathroom. I made it clear to him that they were his stickers if he did the job. He'd get jealous or upset if I gave them away, but told him that was the rule. After a while he'd want to make sure others didn't get them, they were HIS. I'd put them on his shirt or back of his hand so he could should it off to everyone all day, and everyone could say how impressed or excited they were that he did such a good job.

Is your child still in pull ups? I switched my son over to underwear. Having messes several times a day helps him get uncomfortbale with peeing and pooping on himself... also telling him he is a big boy helps. When he poops on himself, tell him how bad it smells by holding your nose and saying "P-U do you really want to sit in this all day?" Be nice about it and say it in a way he knows he is not gross but his poop is. My 3 year old recently became potty trained by me doing all these things.

I know some people say not to do this, but it's really working for us. We use "potty candy." We have m&ms and skittles and our daughter gets 1 each time she goes potty and 2 each time she poops. In the beginning she wanted the candy every single time she went, but now she's getting over it and has been using the potty without needing a reward.

Also... in order to get her comfortable with the potty, the first few days I REALLY pushed the liquids. Lots of water, lots of juice, lots of milk, etc. That way she was constantly needing to go.

Good luck!

This may sound strange, but it's really not. You most likely are in a huge power struggle, this being the one thing he can control. We didn't potty train. We let him come the bathroom with us and answered questions if he had them, but said nothing. If he wanted to use the potty, we took him, if not we change his diaper. Once he started showing signs of using it, we got cloth "heavies" which are thick underwear, NO PULL-UPS!! Then he would actually be wet, it only took a day or 2 of that, where we didn't say anything, just cleaned him up and he started using the potty. It's messy and annoying, but it's quick, he won't like to feel like that. Good luck!

I know moms tend to be competitive about everything about their children, including the age at which their children were potty trained. When my mother-in-law was potty training my husband, she said it was culturally not okay for kids to be using diapers past two years of age. This caused her much stress, and she said she was trained more than the kids. She told me that, if she had to do it over again, she would wait until her kids begged to use big kid underwear. She would have let them decide all on their own. Take that for what it's worth!

If he feels like this is a requirement or "chore" he will refuse. It isn't fun for him if he has to go in there every hour and sit for 20 minutes. He probably feels overpowered. I have 4 kids and I kept their potty in the bathroom from the time they were walking and brought them in to play "potty" if I was going and we didn't make a big deal about it. If they even sat down on the potty I would give them a sticker or treat and make it fun. When they turned no more than 2 and a half, we said in a fun voice, no more diapers in the daytime and we took them to pick out cute kids underwear. We only had a few "accidents" and by 3 they were potty trained day and night. I found that if you put a diaper or pull-up on them, they will use it. You have to let them feel the wet feeling and they won't usually like that at all. I would just back away from the hourly trips to the bathroom and try to make it more fun. OH! My first son was a little more difficult because I was young and clueless but I finally did find a fun way to make him pee in his little potty chair. I would put a drop of food coloring in the little potty bowl and tell him if he peed in there it would turn a cool color. He thought that was awesome and would do it. Then I'd let him pour it in the big potty and flush which was also cool for him. I know, sounds crazy but it worked for us.

Hello. I used to work in a childcare and one of the things I learned is that you can't push them. You have to encourage them and let them feel like it is there choice. Ask him all the time but if he says no don't push him. When he does go maybe give a sticker, do a happy dance, and make a big deal out of it. Another way is to just try underware. One weekend when you don't really have anything going on, put him in underwear. With some children all they need is to feel it and they don't like it. It is important to remember that they will have accidents. Our rule at the daycare was as long as they told us they had an accident is was ok and we would help the child change. However, if he doesn't tell you at all then that is a big sign that he is not ready. Just remember that everyone develops at a different rate and when he is ready it will happen. I know it is really frustrating but keep encouraging him and it will happen.

J., i tried twice and immediately knew it wasn't my son's time. i was taking him constantly and he had no clue, would go in his pants twenty minutes later. if it's this much work, i'm sorry to say, it's probably just that he's not ready quite yet. but once my son was ready, it was about a month and he was done. it's hard to wait, i know! we want it done SO bad lol. i used candies at first (m&m's, then gummies) but it got to where he was going so often that i switched to a sticker chart. he got candy at the end of each row. i would concentrate less on taking him and sitting with him for 20 minutes, and more on a reward and positive reinforcement. make it his choice to go (he'll have to tell you when he wants to, and sometimes he may want to go thinking he'll get the reward, but nothing happens), but he only gets the reward when he produces something. my son went through a day or two where he wanted to go like every hour and would force a little drop out...that was okay with me too. focus on teaching him to listen to his body and know what's going on down there, instead of scheduled pit stops. it means longer in diapers (or pullups, whichever) but i think they get the idea better that way. he is old enough he probably gets it mentally, "this is where the pee pee goes", maybe his body just isn't ready yet.

I have 4 year old twin girls and we had a problem too. At age 3 they were potty trained at daycare (for the most part), but at home, pretty much refused. We decided to use some positive reinforcement (ie: bribe). We started with gummy bears, but realized that wasn't good for them or their teeth. So, I found yogurt covered raisins. It worked like a charm. Everytime they went pee, they got one "candy" and if they went number 2, the got 2 "candies". If you decide to try this, I hope it works as well for as it did for me.

Hi J., I am a Nana to 6 boys.... I had a daughter and a son. When my children where young it was competition to
see how young they could be potty trained! And if they weren't by 2 years old "Oh boy" were you a bad parent! If I
had it to do over I would let them decide! My 31/2 year old
grandson just got potty trained and we still make sure he
goes every so often and he does have few accidents if he is
outside playing. All of my grandsons were three or older when they got potty trained. Believe me it is not a big deal.... when they are ready they will do it! We also did
positive reinforcement like an m&m when he went! Also I did
the "potty dance"!! One of my grandsons called me on the
phone one evening to tell me to do the "potty dance"! I am a firm believer in that they will do it when they are ready!
Hang in there, you are not doing anything wrong! L.
Nana of 6

I agree with the one that said 3day potty training. I did it with 2 of my children and it worked. potty trained in 3 days!!! boy and girl. so some of my friends asked me to send it on to them and it has worked for everyone I sent it to. it does take all your time. you have to stick to your child for 3 days but it worked for me. if you want me to send it to you just give me your address and I will email it to you. I got it from a mom on here when I was having a hard time.

We struggled a bit with our son. He was well into the 3s. It became easier when we eased up. If little ones feel pressured they may hold it in. It's a natural reaction. We had a nine day stretch with no poop that almost sent me over the edge. So just let go. And then we he does go be really celebratory. No, I Told You So. We found that when he was finally getting it was the time to back off the most. I think every hour is a little much. Perhaps every 2 or even 3 hours and if he has an accident just clean it up and smile. Say something like "Oh, we didn't make it to the potty this time. Next time we'll be faster!" He will not like the feeling of peeing on himself and sooner or later will make the connection.

The other suggestion I've heard and never really committed to well enough to give advice is just let him run around without pants for a weekend at home. It's the same idea...eventually he'll get that he has to go and the best place to put it is the potty.

Just remember to encourage and keep smiling even when you want to scream. Good Luck!