Potty Training Woes... - Springfield,TN

Updated on September 15, 2009
H.F. asks from Springfield, TN
11 answers

My youngest daughter is 2 years and 9 months and we are having problems pooping on the potty! She will pee on the potty and even left the house with panties on this weekend for several hours at a time (I didn't trust her enough before so I'd make her wear a pull-up out but she usually stayed dry). I have noticed that if she has a pull-up on and is engrossed in something, she'd just pee in it rather than stop to potty but she won't do that in her panties. Now as for pooping- she refuses! She isn't afraid of losing a body part, she has no fear of the potty and as she put it "I just don't want to poop in the potty!" She is very head-strong and once she gets something in her mind, it's hard to change it (already!). She doesn't stay dry at night (my oldest didn't until 3 1/2) so she wears a pull-up to bed and the other night she woke up in the middle of the night to poop... in her pull-up! She has been holding it in and I've had to give her Mylicon a few times but she eats Fiber One yogurt everday to help keep things going. I have a sticker chart and she gets M&M's if she poops (and she'll tell you that!). Nothing is working and we are BOTH so fustrated!!! Help us please!!

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J.T.

answers from Louisville on

H., my mom saved my life with my son! We had the same issue, he would pee in the potty with no problem but he would poop in his pants....well, she stayed home with him one day and that was all it took! He pooped, told her about it and she said, well, sit on the kitchen floor until i have time to clean you up. He cried and begged her to clean him and she kept saying she didn't have time, that he should have gone in the potty and he would be clean....after about 15 min she cleaned him up and we haven't had an accident since!!! I know it seems cruel but it isn't and he hasn't had any mental issues about it either. Plus, the kitchen floor was easily bleached!!! Hope this helps and hang in there, she's still a little young to be concerned with it. My girls always thought it was cool to "dump" the poop into the big potty...gross but they enjoyed it...good luck and congrats on two wonderful angels!

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E.J.

answers from Raleigh on

chocolate can make a child a bit constipated. It did for my two potty trainers so far. we also used chocolate as a reward, but went back to just stickers.
Take the changing table out of the picture completely. show her books and tell her about diapers and bottles being for little babies, and that she is big now. this worked for my little head strong girl. we waved bye-bye to the baby tooth brush, baby tooth paste, baby bottles, and then baby diapers, oh yea, and the baby pacifier!!--in totally different stages!! then just take the diapers and pull-ups totally out of the picture. As we shopped I showed them that diapers and pull ups cost money, that we could either get those or something fun to read, play with, or eat!! then I just put regular underwear on them both, and yes, we had accidents, but after three days they were done with pulls ups. and also at night. i just got a VERY sturdy matterss cover and a few absorbent undersheets. we also took the 'baby potty' out of the picture and used the baby bjorn potty seat then switched to the 'flip and flush' toilet seat. they would get a sticker on their special toilet chart, elmo for the boy and dora for the girl, all we could find. and if they asked to go potty rather than me bringing them saying it is time to go, and actually did something, they would also get a jelly belly--mini jelly beans that are naturally flavored and very tastey.
I hope this helps....just refer to what you don't want them to do or be as 'baby stuff' and take the changing table and pull ups and diapers completely out of the picture. BUT, first, I talked to my children about it before hand, and just started it one day, and together we threw away the 'last' pull up, and put on underwear--the regular kind not the thick absorbent kind or the kind with the plastic outter liner. Potty training is tough. kids don't like change, but I think if they are shown that this is what it means to be 'big' and the other way is baby, then they'll usually follow:)
we don't think about this milestone when we are so excited about being pregnant!:) LOL

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R.G.

answers from Louisville on

H., Dawn's got the right idea. Get on your daughter's level, emotionally/mentally when you are dealing with big issues like this. Empathize with her, don't scold or get upset. She is, after all, still very young and this is simply part of her growing/learning process. It takes time.

One thing you might try... buy a toilet ring to place on your toilet. This ring is big enough to fit over the bowl of the toilet but it has a small 'utility' hole to accomodate the little ones' tiny bottoms. Perhaps she just doesn't like the smell of the waste in her potty and pooping in the big toilet would make her more like a grown up AND would eliminate the issue of odor as well. Also, just the prospect of being able to use the big potty may be enough to encourage her to poop in the potty.
Good luck

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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P.B.

answers from Charlotte on

You have described my older daughter to a T! I will tell you what worked for us...although she had a younger sister that helped. I took the younger child to the doctor and when we got home, I simply said "The doctor said you need give your diapers to your sister, because she needs them now". THAT WAS IT! My older daughter was about 3 at the time, but that is all it took. We tried everything you tried and it was awful! BUt she knew to listen to the doctor, and that was all it took. Maybe you have a a friend with a child or a church member....don't stress over it (easy for me to say now)...her time will come. Good Luck!

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A.M.

answers from Asheville on

The more stress around it (yours or hers) the bigger problem it is. She's not ready to poop in the potty. Forget about it for a month or two and don't even talk to her about it. If she does it on her own, give her the reward and praise but don't ask her to do it. It sounds like a highly pressurized situation. In nature nothing is hurried yet everything gets accomplished. There is no stopwatch here. If she poops in her underwear, let her feel how it feels. Let her do more of her own training.

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A.S.

answers from Chattanooga on

We went through this same thing with our son and when we knew that he needed to go poopy we put him on the potty and told him that he couldn't get up until he was finished. I would tell him that I would give him privacy and be back in a couple of minutes to check on him. Of course he screamed almost the entire time but then it would be silent for a minute and we then knew he was going. I had to be very stern when it came to him not getting up off the potty until he was finished. After 3 or 4 times of doing it this way he got the hang of it. Good luck.

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R.S.

answers from Greensboro on

Potty training for us was awful... but we eventually realized how much our daughter loves dresses. So every time she pooped in the potty she got a new dress. Yes - expensive but oh so worth it. It lasted for about 3-4 months. Good luck

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V.C.

answers from Wheeling on

First, ask her 'why' she doesn't want to poop in the potty (or it may be better to word it as, 'Why do you want to poop in your pants?")

Second. Give her the clean-up responsibility inasmuch as is possible when she poops. She must empty it, flush it, rinse out her panties, and put them in the laundry.

(The reason she doesn't pee in her panties is probably as simple as the process of 'evaporation'. She doesn't 'feel' wet in a pull-up, but when cloth gets wet [with no waterproof covering], it FEELS cold and wet! This helps with potty training if folks will leave off the waterproofers while training.)

P.S. I just read your other responses and thought, 'Maybe she'll ENJOY dumping her poop from her Pull-Ups/panties', and that wouldn't be much help, huh? LOL

I disagree that 2 yrs/9 mo is still young (my 4 were fully trained by 2nd birthday because I love potty training), and I don't like the idea of giving laxatives/stool softeners as a regular thing. Fiber supplements? Maybe. Glycerin suppositories are a quick, effective, cheap remedy in case of an immediate need to evacuate the bowels, though.

I DO agree that this is a control issue and the calmer you are, the better. Also love the idea of 'money exchange' (we can either buy diapers/Pull-Ups OR something FUN for you!) That's a real winner!

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C.B.

answers from Charlotte on

Welcome to the world of "You don't control me". What else does she control except what comes in and what goes out? You are going to have to do the Miralax trick. Give her Miralax in every drink and eventually she will have to go and if she is wearing panties she will not want to poop in them, especially if you put her favorite pair on. (ones that she picked out, remember it's a control thing) When she does poop in the potty, make sure to make a huge deal about it and tell her what a big girl she is and just brag and brag to anyone who will listen. I promise you that this will not last forever, it just seems like it!! Good luck!!

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K.H.

answers from Nashville on

Don't worry about the peeing at night. As long as she masters it in the day, you can worry about night later. She has to overcome her fears of pooping because its not good to hold it in. I bribed my child with going out for an ice cream or going to the park if she pooped on the potty. I also sat on the big potty while she sat on hers. Try to explain to her that it is bad for her to hold it. The potty is where poop is suppose to go. Try to make it exciting to go to the bathroom. I played around with my daughter, "Isn't it fun to flush away that smelly poo?" Then we get to wash our hands while we sing happy birthday and dance and sometimes we even called Daddy or Grandma to tell them what a big girl she is.

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