My son will be 4 in June. He is about 90% trained. He does very good, very few accidents, no matter where we are. When we first we doing starting potty training the lid fell on "him". It was SO swollen and bruised. It was so bad and couldn't urinate. They had to keep him over night at the hospital to watch him and cathertor him cause he was so swollen to go himself. After the swelling went down he started going again. Well that put a stop to the training for a bit. ( don't blame him!) But... now at home he will only pee in the tub. Thankfully #2 in the toilet! Everywhere else we go he will pee in the toilet. We have gotten him a potty chair to put on the side of the toilet, he wont use that. We have used treats/ toys (briberies) to go in the toilet... nothing we have tried works to get him to do it! If I try to make him he screams! He watches my hubby and 3 older brothers, myself and his 2yr old sis all go on the toilet, but he refuses. How do I get him to do this at home also?
I should add... how it started was I was going and he came running in the bathroom holding himself saying he had to pee... I quickly got up and put him over the toilet, held the lid up for him... and he wouldn't go. I didn't want to discourage him since he was telling me, I put him over the tub and told him to go. After that one time, that was the only place he would go. I didnt think one time of it would turn into this...
to add what one mom asked.. no he will not sit down to pee. I have tried that. He has to stand up to pee like the "big boys" do. After being in the bathroom with all of us, he will straight up tell us girls sit down to pee not boys. I dont' want to turn it into a battle or have him go backwords. So I guess I give in to him.
Wow. That's a painful lesson learned--OUCH!
Is there a lock that can hold the lid up?
What about completely removing the lid--for now?
Poor guy! I feel for him.
What if you put the potty chair NOT in the bathroom?
What if you took the lid OFF the toilet?
The more you try to get him to do it, the more his anxiety is going to increase. So I would back off completely and let HIM do it when he's ready.
I'm ridiculously anal retentive to the point of OCD..... but honestly after a trauma like that.... I'd probably let him pee in the tub until he gets older and can manage his own fears a bit better.
Just have some cleaning stuff that he can pour down after himself so it doesn't stink - get something that isn't poisonous so he could maybe do it himself.
I think it's GREAT that this is limited to the house only and that you don't have the problem elsewhere.
Edited to add:
I wanted to add after you updated your "so what happened". You said you'll "give in to him", which sounds like you are frustrated and accepting defeat (which I do get, cuz who wants someone peeing in their tub, right?).
But I actually APPLAUD you for your quick thinking find a solution to help out your terrified son who is in pain with a let him go in the tub solution. That is a skill that lots of moms don't have. and I think it shows your compassion for his problem. You could have just stood there saying go in the potty until he wet himself and then you'd have 50 million other huge issues!!!!!! So, don't think of it as giving in.... Think of it as you giving him a tool to help him cope with something that was traumatic and when he gets older you can help him work through it to find a better solution (that doesn't stink up the tub)!
Good luck!
Take the lid off of the toilet for a while so that he can go without worrying that it will fall on him. Once he's comfortable going on the toilet without the lid, put the lid back on and try again.
Poor little guy- the fact that he will go other places should tell you that this is about fear of the lid falling, not actually urinating in a toilet. Good luck- this actually happened to my friend's son and he was terrified of the toilet for months (3 yrs old) and they had to start potty training "over" at a later time.
Poor little guy! The potty lid accident sounds so traumatizing. But, I understand your frustration. If you put the potty chair in the bathtub would he pee in the potty chair? If so, give him lots and lots of praise every time he does this and then maybe after a week or so of this you could try moving the potty chair out of the tub and next to the toilet?? I really don't have any other ideas. Hopefully these other mommas can help you out!
Also, when you say he won't pee in the toilet but he will go #2 does that mean that when he just pees he stands up? So, he is afraid of the lid falling on him again? I have two boys and even when they are just peeing they sit on the toilet and just point down. Would he just sit on the toilet to pee too?
I like the ideas of taking the lid off the toilet or having him sit to pee. my son would always run outside to pee when he was little (what am i saying, he still does!) my poor lawn has a huge bare spot. we live out in the country so theres no one to see him. another idea would be to rig some kind of strap or latch thingy to hold the lid up so he would feel secure that its not gonna fall. taking it completely off sounds a lot easier tho!! good luck!
We went to Home Depot and bought one of the slow closing lids. The same thing happened to my oldest son when he was 3.
The lid we have now has some kind of hinge that makes it close very slowly and we have one on all three of our toilets.
They sell a potty training urinal...maybe he'd use one of those! It's called "Peter Potty." Pretty clever! http://www.peterpotty.com/
Owww! Poor little guy!
This is a surprisingly common source of injury in little boys, so my son-in-law installed the slow-closing seat. It works great. If your son saw that he would be safe, he might have fewer qualms. Meanwhile, letting him pee in the tub is a pretty practical compromise. And that training urinal looks great!
I think your son will eventually overcome his fear of the toilet if you don't keep urging him to use it. There are also a couple of easy, non-invasive procedures the will usually help undo trauma, sometimes dramatically, with one treatment. Check out "EMDR Therapy" – there should be some available in your area, and possibly therapists who specialize in working with children. Another alternative, EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique is often referred to as "Tapping" and is easy enough to try at home yourself. Here's one helpful video showing the how-to's: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4EDgTc0AyQ&feature=re...
Good luck!
I know this is extreme, but can you take the seat off the toilet for a while?
Or maybe jury-rig a way to hold the seat up (I'm thinking a couple of bungee cords) and then show him it can't fall?
Or install a urinal for him?
Or, have him pee in a bucket & then start dumping the pee bucket in the toilet?
You might also consider getting some professional help here--If I were him, I'd probably have PTSD (and no, I'm not really kidding about that), and as a kid he would need some professional assistance to work through it, since he doesn't have the tools to do that at his young age.
leave the toilet open and ready-
if he pisses himself or poops himself sympathetically say
"uh oh, looks like you made an accident"
help (don't do it all for him) him get cleaned up-
he will either choose independence or continue with his
behavior. either way- you can't force him and bribing will
only complicate things later.
I tell my daughter that big girls do certain things- and babies
do certain things- then I ask if she is a big girl or a baby- she
chooses what she is- then I tell her what I expect of her.
when she chooses "big girl" behaviors I praise her by saying,
"wow, you are certainly acting like a big girl. I really like that!"
(high five or whatever works for you)
Good luck!
