Potty Training -- Where to Start?!?

I just finished with PTing and used the Louis Kleint Book called Potty Trained in Three Days. 3 of my friends have used it too and it worked for all of us. It's short and easy to read so read it through, memorize as much (or be like me and write notes) and then do it. I did it on a weekend when my husband could help because I was 8 months pg at the time and couldn't do it all just me but it worked with both of us helping too (it says not to do that, but no choice here). Good luck...

I agree with the other two. Also, my pedi told us it takes boys longer. My son is 2 1/2 and pitches a fit if you even say potty. I wouldn't fore it to much, or it will take even longer.

Ok, First of all, take a deep breath. . . .Potty training is difficult, but it isn't the end of the world. Boys just take a little longer than girls becuase frankly, they dont want to stop playing long enough to go. Also, every child is different! Something that works for one child may not work for another, but no matter what, NO ONE should ever make you feel bad about the choices that you have made. Every mom is as awesome as their child, and is as different from other mothers as their child is from other children. Dont ever let some one make you feel bad for not being the mom that they are, becuse you are a great mom!

I agree with one of the other posts also that your daycare should be an inportant part in training your son. If they are the care givers durring the day and you at night, then yall should be working as a team.

A few of the things that we tried was that my husband took my son to the bathroom with him and let him watch how to do it (even sitting down) and then let him do it too. Once they were done and washed their hands, (and only IF my little boy actualy went), then they got a treat. (We tried the potty training sticker chart, and my son did not care about that at all, but a mini oreo or a tootsie roll he loved! AND, he ONLY got those treats for going on the potty, he didnt get them any other time at all, so it made them more special) When learning to stand up, we tossed fruit loops, or the colored "gold fish" crackers into the potty for him to aim at. It worked better than just cherioes becuase of the bright colors and they are bigger.

We also didnt have any luck with the pull ups, it was too much like a diaper for him, so we went to the store and had him pick out the big boy underwear that he wanted and let him wear those instead. Becuase he instantly felt when he was wet, we only had 3 or 4 accidents and it was done. (oh, also, once he was doing really good on his training, when the "snack jar" was empty, we just told him that it was all gone and he was such a big boy that he didnt need treats any more, and he seemed really ok with that and never missed them.)

I hope this helps! Good Luck!!

Hi S.,

My boy is not to that age yet, so I haven't tried this, but my co-worker swears on the book "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day". He trained all three of his boys in one afternoon using this method. He said that he sent his wife off for the day, so it was just him and his son, and he trained him in one afternoon - he swears that it works! My boy is only 6 months old, and I have already purchased the book, so we can use the method for him when it comes time! Good Luck!

Both of my boys were potty trained at 3. My oldest (who is now 8) birthday is in March and was potty trained in the summer and my 2nd son's birthday is in June and was potty trained in the summer. 3 is very normal to potty train a boy. I think that is very rude of your director and perhaps it is time to find a new day care.

First off, let me say that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to potty train, and every child is different. There is no timeline, but most are trained before they start school, unless there is some kind of developmental delay. Your son is probably showing no interest because he isn't ready, plain and simple. When they are ready they are ready, you will know when he is, he will let you know. He will become intersted in the potty chair, watching daddy go, etc, etc. Until he is ready, it's just going to be a struggle, you will be frustrated and so will he. As for the daycare "wanting" him toilet trained by a certain age, thats ridiculous, and if you asked you son in front of the director of that daycare if he needed a diaper and she was unaware that he was not using the potty, then they aren't trying very hard to potty train either, and if they aren't going to try while he's there then it no use for you to try, all of his caregivers need to be in on the process, not just his mom, I think I'd find a different daycare, one that understand that children aren't carbon copies of each other and aren't all going to do things at the same age.

First of all, tell that director to take a flying leap. I can't believe she would say that! That would be a bigger concern for me than the fact that your little one isn't potty trained. That kind of remark is unprofessional and obviously doens't help the situation.

I have no tips and I'm still trying to get my 4 year old trained... going on two years now. We have good days and bad days and we've tried everything from the structured hourly bthroom trips, to the sticker chart to treats and outting and nothing seems to be a cure-all solution.

Hang in there. It's frustrating but it will work itself out; hopefully sooner rather than later!

Well the good news is you know that he won't be 30 and in a diaper! My suggestion, would be to make it a routine starting today. For the first week, have him sit on the potty in the morning when he wakes up and before he goes to bed - he can have his clothes on or off. Don't make it a battle for the first week. The key is to just make it part of the routine. Do put him in pull-ups for the first week and take him every hour. If he refuses or puts up a fight, just tell him that you will try again later; and take him the next hour. You are just helping him adjust to the change the first week. The second week toss the pullups (except for night) and put him in underwear; take him to the potty every hour. Trust me - if he is in underwear you and he will have an incentive to take him. I learned with pull-ups it is very easy to just "let" him go in his pull-up instead of taking him to the potty often. It will take about week for him to make the new adjustment; and plan on 3-4 accidents a day for the first week. The second week it will reduce to 2-3 accidents a day. By the third week he may only have a spiratic few. Also, you can use those plastic covered underwear until he has fewer accidents; then move to the training underwear with thick padding. It may even be a lot faster b/c of his age. Good luck!!

Seriously? I'm thinking it's time to find a new day care! No, that may be a little harsh, but still. I'm no expert, but I think the average for potty training a boy is like 3 1/2. My oldest was in day care until she was three and they did 90% of the potty training for us. Kids just respond better when all the other kids are doing it, too. And by the way, June is still several months off. I have girls so I know nothing of potty training boys, but I do say RELAX. They pick up on our stress and I bet you'll have a much easier time when you aren't pushing it. Also, when all his friends at daycare start doing it, he'll want to start trying. Tell the director to back off - she works for you, not the other way around.

Well, all I'll say is this. I'm sure you're geting tons of advice on how to potty train, so I won't go there. Just don't get too frustrated. It's not uncommon at all for boys to be 3 and not trained yet. Boys often go later than girls, (although I don't know why that's the case I just know it is) and I think the daycares may have too high expectations sometimes. Friends of mine who have kids in daycare say that the daycare potty trains them, and they start pretty soon after they turn 2. They take the kids to the bathroom on a schedule to get them trained, so I know that works well for some kids but not all, and I think they just start to expect all kids to potty train at 2 which is definitely not the case. Don't get too frustrated, just take some of the advice you've heard here and take it easy. If you stress, he'll stress, if you relax, he will too. Good luck!

Buy the Potty Video and book by Alona Frankel (sp?)-- order it online TODAY. They have one for boys and one for girls. Watch it over and over again... explain to him what you are seeing. Have the potty in the room as you watch it and have him mimic what to do with a doll (or action figure).

Then, keep a jar of M&M's or a treat in the bathroom... he can only get one if he potties in the toilet and flushes. Tell him that once the jar runs out, he's learned, and so that is when you end the treats.

Good luck.

Dear S.,
My little boy is almost 3 and I started pottty training him the same way. Well the potty chair for the floor did not work with him I bought him one that fits on the toliet seat and he liked it because he was like a the rest of us.I also used the disposable pull-ups at first and took him to the bathroom alot.When he figured it out we took him it seemed every 5 min more like a game but it worked. Then I bought regular boys underwear for him,because the pull-ups were like diapers and he used them like it too. The underwear worked for him because he did not want to mess the design up on them. Also have alot of patience with him and your self. GOOD LUCK.

The main thing you need to do is to get the daycare on board with the potty training. I agree with the other person about how the director should know exactly where your son is on potty training. She should have her two year old teachers actively involved in helping your child to potty train. I tried to start training my son before the daycare was on board and I am telling you, it is no use. So, I just waited until the daycare started and then I reinforced it at home. Our daycare lined all of the kids up every 20 minutes to try to go potty. I know it sounds like it is often, but it really reinforced "going potty". And, I think seeing the other kids do it really helped my son to do it.

So, basically, you need to have a conversation with at least your child's teacher - if not the director. Further, if they don't get on board, then you need to tell them that he will continue in the two year old class then. It is to their benefit to help with the potty training to get your son moved up.

In regards to training, for me personally, going #1 in the potty was easy. And, if you can ask your son if he needs a new diaper and he can answer that question, then he is ready to start training. #2 is the harder part. For that, I waited until he had mastered #1, then, I bought prizes and put them in a separate brown paper bags. He could see the bags sitting on the counter. When he successfully went #2, he picked a bag and got the prize out of it. I had 10 bags and when those were gone, we were done. He knew how to go and was successful from then on. I still had him wearing a diaper at night, but after a couple of weeks, he asked to wear underwear at night too. He had maybe three accidents at night and then he was done with that too.

-L.

I wish I had a magic solution because I would use it for my son. He is exactly the same age as your son and it seems like we take 2 steps forward, 1 step back with potty training. A few weeks ago we were at a point where he would go on the potty every time (as long as I reminded him... he wouldn't stop playing to tell me). Now, we are back at potty refusal. I have tried rewards, buying cool underwear, bribery, time-out for refusing to try (because he doesn't want to stop playing to try, I thought if he had to stop playing either way it might work) and nothing has worked. I've heard that boys are hard to train and have even been advised not even to try until he turns 3.
I think your director is being a bit inflexible. My son is in MDO and they have said that while most of the kids in their 3 year room will be in underwear, they will work with me if he's not quite there yet. (I think that goes with the territory of having a young 3. My son has a June B-day soon). Hopefully your director will understand and work with you. If not, perhaps you should look at other daycares. (My son was in daycare last year and I know one that we looked at had a special room for non potty trained 3's. I'm sure you won't be surprised that they were all boys except 2.)
Hope that helps you feel like you're not alone!

www.onestepahead.com they have a pull up pants that are $10 for one but your child should by this time not be going as much. My children this age seem to hold it longer. They also have a wrist watch timer that is $10. My day care customer is going to do this for his 3 yr old. He is concerned about his child too but I believe my son was close to 4 before he got trained. They are just stubborn. Take him often. Set a timer. Make time and every time have a hand clapping celebration. He will get it. Some take longer and a boy is much harder.Also when boys are just being stubborn or I think they get into play and do not want to go, if you make him wash his own pants in the bath tub he may not like that. I was told it that does not work use cold water. Just to get them to take responsibility. God Bless G. W

Our pediatrician told us that the child should train themself, otherwise later they will act out and have accidents on purpose. She also said that training causes both stress and anxiety for both the parents and child. Potty training is a natural process don't push it. I tried with my little girl at 2 in the summer (I was a teacher, now I run a daycare out of my home) and we had accidents all day for 5 days and I gave up. I left the potty out and encouraged her form time to time on her lead, we read potty books and she would practice when I went and that next Feb. at 2 1/2 my babysitter called and said she has told me all day and has gone by herself and it was done, except for pooping did not come until the end of May (she was 3 in June) so we wore pull ups for a while. We still wear pull ups when sleeping and she will be four in June!!!

tell your preschool director that comments like that should not be made in front of you child. and if she says anything to you again just ignore it! My 3 1/2 yr old is not regular on the potty yet. All of my three boys trained between 3 and 4 yrs old, and the experience is different with each one. My first trained with a "potty bell" I just set a timer and he went whenever it went off, my second was trained by my mom when I was in the hospital for a month having my third, with him she let him go around the house naked, and she told him to go potty every 15 minutes till he could finally go for longer periods of time, after he got pretty regular about the potty naked we put underwear on him but he claimed he "couldn't feel his peepee wiggle" so he would have accidents so we got him boxers and that worked great, we eventually transitioned him into boxer briefs and underwear, but he got it. the third, he potty trained in a week with me just asking him to go on a regular basis then about three months into it, he just quit, now he doesn't go on the potty unless he is forced to. it's driving me crazy ! so I feel your frustration, on this. we are back to using the potty bell with him most of the time and he does okay with that. We also used treats or going to the potty, when ever they tell me they needed to go they got a treat, then we progressed to getting a treat for going on the potty if their pull up was dry, then if was phased out and would go to potty with out a treat, but as soon as the weather is warm enough I'll be headed out side with my three year ld and let him run around with regular underwear on and if he pee's he will have to deal with the consequences of feeling wet! I know people that swear by letting them go naked, and it did work! but I like the timer the best.

S.,
What worked for us is my husband would take our oldest to the restroom with him every time so that he could show him how he goes to the potty. It took a while, especially since we got pregnant with another baby and the oldest begain reverting, BUT it really did work. Your son will probably stare and gain interest if your husband takes him to the potty. He will soon understand that he is being taught how to potty and he will mimic it.

M.

My husband did it. I have two boys age 4 and 2.5. They both were fully potty trained by 2. My husband started with teaching them to "pee on trees". Then they did "pee games" in the bathroom. We made it this Manly thing that was very special to them only. No moms allowed. And they loved it. They couldn't wait to drink water all day and keep going. The sitting on the potty took bribs, candy, story time, and some days just plain fits. But it wasn't that hard, they both got it and its great. We still use pull ups for night time with our 2 1/2 year old but that's it. For us, Daddy took the gold on this one.

This worked for me, but not everyone likes the idea. During the day I "potty" trained my son outside. He thought it was FUN to go "TT" off the patio or on the tree. When it was dark he did not mind going "TT" in the potty!

Dr. Sear's site has great info on how to know when to start....don't sweat it....it will happen and his site will help you along.

www.askdrsears.com

Please do not feel bad at all. That director needs to catch a clue! My son turned 3 in December, and we just spent this past weekend working hard on his potty training. He just plain wasn't ready till now. I did face the same thing at at MDO concerning not being able to move up to the 3s class, but in our case the director told me that boys are typically slower and it isn't a negative reflection at all for a boy to not be trained at 3. I think my son is indeed the oldest kid in his class right now and the last to potty train, but I am ok with that. The good news for us is that he pretty much got it in two days. If I were you, I would wait till the summer and then do some intense work. We did the "prize table" for poop, and Hershey kisses for pee... didn't leave the house at all, kept him in underwear and offered the potty every 30 minutes. Don't push till then if he doesn't seem interested. The important thing here is that your director is full of c---. Do NOT feel that your son is behind. He is NOT. He is normal!

I have been struggling with my son since he was 18 months old. At 18 months he was going every time in the potty, I think just cause he liked the new potty chair though. Then he just stopped would not have any part of it. He is 3 1/2 and we are finally down to just a couple of accidents a month. We tried sticker charts, a little bowl of candy, potty prizes. You just have to figure out what works for him. My son loves Cars and so we started calling it going Pit Stop. All of the sudden he actually started going. Another thing we tried is we put a pair of underwear on his favorite stuffed animal and told him that he needed to teach his animal how to go pit stop too. It is just trial and error and I didn't want to spend any money on those books that teach you how to potty train cause I was spending that money on diapers! :) Good Luck!

I was you a year ago. My son's birthday is in July and I really wanted to put him in a Mother's Day out in the Fall (of '08) but I knew he wouldn't be able to go in the three year old class if he wasn't potty trained. I had two girls before I had him and they both were potty trained right around two years old. And here we were fast approaching 3 and no interest at all. He would happily use the restroom in his diapers anytime/anywhere. It was baffling to me. We had a little potty in the bathroom by the big potty. Every once in awhile he would use it and we heavily praised him when he would. I don't have a magic answer for you, but I will tell you that right around his third birthday he just started using the potty. He would tell us when he needed to go and we'de take him and he would go. Now, I will tell you that since his birthday is in the summertime he spent a LOT of time with no clothes on so that he could pee whenever he needed to. We live out in the sticks and our neighbors can't see into our yard so we spent a lot of time outside just letting him run around and be a crazy little boy with no clothes on.

Good luck!