Potty Training Trouble!!!

My son would poop his pants as a power thing as a way to get me to come in his room at nap time and so forth so I put a potty in his room and told him he could come out when there was poop in the potty and it worked.
Also my inlaws had the same problem with my husband (don't tell him I'm telling the whole world this) :) and they put him in the back yard with a potty and no diaper and he was screaming and begging for a diaper and they just said no and after playing with his trucks for a while he gave up and went on the potty and then after that he was potty trained. He hated the potty before that but after that one day in the yard begging for a diaper he realized it was no big deal. Hope this helps.

Why not let your son do it as his own pace? In the bigger picture does a few months really make that big of a difference? My son mastered being fully potty trained at 4 years old. He was so proud to do this on his own and we NEVER had an accident. Sure people made fun that he was in diapers so late but he mastered #1 at about 3 and half but #2 was just not something he could master away from the home until 4 years old. Both my husband and I just made the decision that he needed to do this at his own pace and we still look back at this as such a good idea for our individual child.

Just my 2 cents - enjoy those two kids!!

Dear T.,

I know that this is frustrating, but you are spending too much time and energy on it. One hour is torture for both of you. Why don't you just put the diapers on him, let him do as he will, and then he will realize that it is not comfortable when the poop gets cold. I don't know why they do stuff like this, but they do, and the more attention we give to 'it', whatever the problem is, the more stubborn the child gets. So try this. It may not last long after you put him back in diapers. Plus, you should not say anything about it. Just do it no fussing and get on with your life , watching secretly to see what he will do. I know that it may sound crazy, but I bet that it works. It is a psylogical truth that when you give the problem back to the person who is causing it, then he or she feels responsible and takes care of it in one way or another. At least it is now their own problem. Also, you might consider, if the potty chair thingy is sturdy, maybe he is afraid to be up that high, who knows. Good Luck, C. N.

Hi T. :)

I potty trained my son using "Potty Scotty" which worked wonderfully. But like your son he just didn't get the poopoo in the toilet thing. On one occasion he went his in undies and I took him into the bathroom, backed him up to his toilet and kinda "flipped" it out and into the toilet. He was shocked and said, "No! Make messy!" It was an "ah ha!" moment for me LOL I took him around the house and showed him how toys go in the toy box, dishes go in the cupboard, clothes go in the closet and then explained that poopoo goes in the toilet. You could see the understanding on his face. He totally understoof after that and I've never gone in undies again. :)

I'm not sure if that is the issue on your end, but it's worth a shot! hehe

M.

My friend has a little boy who had the same problem...he was afraid of "it" splashing water back up at him it turned out. I guess it happened once and that was it for him he never wanted to go on a potty again. It takes tons of patience and maybe the potty videos like Bear in the Big Blue House has one and theres a book How to Potty Train in a Day someone once told me about.With my daughters I put the potty in the living room with the T.V on and some toys around and they would just sit there and watch T.V and go. They would use it as a seat then raise the lid, I just let them go naked.
Also if you're putting him on the big potty make sure he has somewhere to rest his legs ie a stool.
K.

T.,

My son is 3 1/2 years old. I had similar thoughts not too long ago. The things that worked for my son and I were: tremendous patience (the more you force him to go, the more he could resist you); books that talk about using the potty (the one he liked best was "A Potty for Me" -- we have read it some many times he has memorized it); and a sticker reward chart (I made this myself with construction paper and markers). The reward chart was a "path" of colored circles (which I drew with the markers)-- one "path" for #1 and another for #2. Everytime my son tried to go, he would get one smily face sticker that he got to put anywhere on the chart. Everytime he would try to go and was successful (both #1 and #2), he would get to put another one on the "path". Every 5 successes (less at first) I would give him a tangible reward, like a new color of playdough, a small balloon from the grocery store, etc.

The other thing I did was allow him to go without pants or underwear or diaper when we were at home. He went a few times on the floor, after which I reinforced that "pee and poop go in the potty" (of course without getting upset about it) and he eventually went into the bathroom on his own.

Together these worked amazingly!! Hope this helps for you. Good luck!!

When I was a little girl my mother told me I had "control issues" or something and she had a hard time getting me to go #2 in the potty. She said what worked for me was a sticker calendar. I vaguely remember it.

Apparently every time I went #2 she'd let me pick a sticker out of a selection she had in an old cookie tin. She had cut them up so each one was separate so I didn't grab an entire sheet and pitch a fit that I couldn't stick them all.

Then she put it on the square on the calendar that represented the day I went and she said it helped a lot.

my sister is having the same problem with my niece, and the only advice i can give is to just be persistent about the potty, and dont give him diapers. eventually, he'll go. its hard, and i know it seems "mean" but they say potty training is the one area where you really have to put your foot down and be rigid. dont give up!

T.,
Please dont feel like you are alone with this situation. I am in the same position, except I have 4 year twins boys that JUST will not go #2. And it is to the point that I cant send them to preschool because they are not fully potty trained.So if you get a successful with any of your responses , please let me know. Because at this point I will try anything to get them to go #2. I know once I get one to go the other will follow. Thanks and good luck, T.

It can take a LONG time for a child, especially a boy, to poop on the toliet. I counseled a child once that had huge issues with pooping - he would hold it in for DAYS, sometimes to the point where it would make him sick. All his family thought about 24 hours a day was his bowel movements - Mom was anxious, nervous, and at her whits end. After much assesment, the root of this childs non-pooing issues was control. No matter what anyone wanted him to do, HE had the control over his own bowels. Everyone wanted him to poop so badly, and he was the center of attention (regardless that it was negative attention, it was still attention). He had, and still has, other behavioral issues but it seems that little boys in particular pull this I wont poop in the toliet business.
Since it seems that you have exhausted most ideas, here is what I suggest: when he drinks his milk at night or in the morning, put 1-2 teaspoons (dosage depending on how big he is) of milk of magnesia in it. You can get the non-flavored type, or even mint flavor in chocolate milk (the chocolate milk always works!). Since milk of magnesia is a very gentle stool softener, it will soften his bowels over night or in 4-6 hours, and he will have no choice but to poop. It will not cause him to have diarreah (he will if the dosage is too high) and the urge to poop will be sudden - it will not give him a chance to use a diaper, so run him to the bathroom and put him on the toliet. He will have no choice but to go - unless he is one of those stubborn children that will poop his pants before going to the potty. This method is worth a try, though. It will not hurt him, and may solve some of his pooping issues.
Try getting him some special "bathroom only" materials: buy a few fun kids magazines, special soap for washing his hands and flushable wipes (Kandoo is carried in most grocery stores, and makes a line of soap, flushable wipes and a few other things to help encourage children to go the bathroom). After he is done and has wiped and washed hands, let him spray a little room spray in the bathroom to make it smell good. The point is, try making the bathroom fun with bathroom only rewards - we want him to enjoy being in there, and for him to get some positive feeling after he has done his business. You can even reward him with something special afterwards of your choice to give him even more encouragement.

Hope this helps - feel free to send me a message if you need more ideas!