Potty Training Tribulations

Hey M. just a sugestion, have you tried potty videos? It worked for all of my 3 children(15,12,and3). I think it's huggies pull ups that gives a free dvd potty video. You might want to try that if you haven't allready. Good Luck.

I HAVE A THREE YEAR TO potty trained for pooping in the potty you will have to let her do it her way in time it will happen , i'm a fostermother and i have had 208 fosterkids you have to just work with her and tell the school no diapers tell them to please work with you or you will take her out of school , but do not but her back in diapers,just love her she is your baby

I had 2 things that worked for my daughter. The first problem she had was she was lazy and didnt want to do anything her self. and the second problem was she wanted to help me with my chores. so we comprimised. I let her sweep (with my broom, she looked so cute, i made sure i removed any pictures that she could hit with the broom)and do the dishes(at3 that is actually running the cold water and having her rinse them, which still helped tremendously) the other part of the bargain was she had to clean up her own accidents. she peed once in the bed. I had her strip the sheets, put them in the washer and then put new sheets on the bed( of course i just had her do a flat sheet not a fitted one, and i fixed it the next day) she said " this is crazy! it is late at sleep time" she wasnt happy at all but Like i said she only did it once. She also only pooped her pants once. I made her take her undies off and clean her self with wipes then she had to wash her undies in the toilet. it sounds mean but it worked. she was completely 100% potty trained in 2 days. Dont get me wrong she wasnt happy with me for the first day or 2 and on her one week anniversary of being Diaper free i took her to toys r us and let her get a big girl toy. I didnt bribe her weith it, she didnt even know about it until we got to the store , so it was a real treat for her. She ended up picking out a nail salon thing.but i made she knew it was for being such a strong girl and learning the importance of responsibilities. to this day she does the dishes and sweeps still. She is now 9. DOnt give up on her. and dont let the day care give up on her either. threaten them with taking away their money by bringing your buisness else where.
Good luck and let us know how it turns out!

yay! you have a little girl who is very positive about being in charge of her own body and making decisions about it! and yet 'exerting her will' is being regarded as a bad thing.
she IS in charge, at least to a large degree, of how to handle this situation. rather than trying to take that away from her and make her be obedient and compliant, why not celebrate her strong personality? schools who threaten are not as important to you as your child. explain the situation to them and enlist their help, or find one that isn't going to work against your daughter's own timetable. i agree she should not be put back in diapers, and she absolutely should be involved with the cleanup. i don't agree with either forcing her to conform to the school's plan or bribing her. you work with her in a way that reinforces her strength and makes clear to her when she is causing more work for herself and others, IOW you don't want her to potty train because she has to, but because in her own smart little mind she understands that using the potty is more convenient for herself and those close to her. give her plenty of choices in other areas too so that she understands that her opinions have value and are taken seriously.
good luck!
khairete
S.

I feel for you here because my son had a few accidents the first 2 weeks of school and the school director insisted on putting him back in diapers until she thought he was ready to potty train or I couldn't bring him back. I am still super angry with her because he was finally turning the corner and because her staff doesn't want to be "stressed" with possibility of an accident and she doesn't believe potty training happens before 3 1/2, she set us back several months. I remind my son that pee pee and poop goes in the potty and not in his pants. He has learned to hold the poop until bedtime and nap time when the pull ups go on. A friend of mine bribed her son with a bag of plastic bugs from the dollar store and another allowed her daughter to pick out a special treat at the store. For my daughter, we had to catch her in the act and hold her down screaming when she went, then we made a big deal about it, phone calls, etc, she wanted a tastycake or ho ho every time she went. She got it after that. Another approach is telling them they have to go into the bathroom when they do it (even if they are going in their pants), then next time, tell them they have to sit clothed on the potty, then the next, sit unclothed on the potty. Good luck to you. I agree there needs to be an entire section on training.

Our son took forever, but eventually they get it. We kept bribing him with taking him to chuckee cheese and he was excited. But it didn't work every time. The only thing that will work is TIME. Be patient and supportive, it will be over before you know it. If daycare has to put her diapers, that's the way it is. Good luck.

Try focusing on different consequences. If she doesn't cooperate, yes she should help clean. That doesn't mean she does it herself. then she can't make a mess. But no fun shoudl be had until everthing is clean. This means, changing clothes. showering (no play in the bath), cleaning the floor or sheets, and starting the laundry. And she will whine and want to go play, but she at least needs to sit there while you slowly get it all done. Also, I would try a good dose of "Well, we can't go to this party/trip/playground because you might poop in your pants. If you can poop in the potty first, then we can go." Yes, it is bribery, but more meaningful then buying a toy or candy.

All that said, aska pediatrician to examine her. I dont' know how mugh past three she is, but you need ot be sure there is no developmental problem that keeps her from having sufficient control. If she is newly three, this is probably just behavioral. But if she is near four, I'd be more concerned.

If you feel you have done everything, then I might condier putting her in diapers. Only you know your child... but eventually she will learn to do this. She has no intrinsic reason for doing it now (she doesn't care) and frankly she may need some peer pressure to get the hint. I don't like making kids feel bad about things like this, but a)stressing her out and b) letting it continue will only make it worse. Eventually, she will train. She won't go to college in diapers.

Good luck!

Potty practice times. She has to go and practice it instead of doing anything else. Have them scheduled about when she normally poops. If she doesn't go, find a punishment that works. She shouldn't get bribed for things she needs to do. That sets a really bad precedence when it comes to chores, grades, work ethic, etc. She needs to learn that some things you just have to do. She's 3, so she probably knows how to get what she wants and is using this to do that. You said she'll do it for control. Maybe you could talk to her about who is in control when she's getting cleaned? Who is in control when they're washing her clothes? Who is in control when they're going to make her wear a diaper? If she really wants to be in charge of her body, she should go on the potty all the time. Whatever you do, good luck!