Potty Training Regression in 3 Year Old Boy

Do a search here on Mamapedia for other potty training posts, especially those for three-year-old boys. They're there. You will find a lot of advice already on here....

Putting him back into the pull-ups unfortunately sent him the message that he could pee in them, so you may have to redo the potty training for pee as well as tackle it for poop. But yes, he sounds like he's not ready and doesn't have the interest or the body control. You could just wait a little longer and start from scratch in a while.

Be sure to rule out things like a fear of pooping - some kids don't understand that poop is waste; they see it as "part of themselves" that they are somehow losing down a mysterious, dark hole called the toilet. If that's not an issue he's expressing, he may just be too immature yet.

When the time comes, a reward system can be great but only IF he is mature enough to connect his actions with getting the reward; if you try this, make it doable and achievable -- don't say "you have to do a week of no accidents to get reward X," because that is eternity to him; instead make it one day, then two, etc. as he improves.

But anyway -- search on Mamapedia for tons on this topic.

I am in the exact same boat. One of my friends told me that if he's not ready, we can stand on our heads and wiggle our ears and it won't happen. I'm giving it a little time and going to try again.

To ah state the obvious, I think you jumped the gun ("not an easy process " and "a brutal week" are not statements one would associate with a kid happy to be potty training). Not all kids are ready by 3, especially to handle pooing. I'd talk to him about it. Find a moment when you can be calm about the whole thing (I feel you with the poopy underwear, really, I do) and ask him what HE'D like to do. He should be old enough to understand the options (underwear/pull-ups or even diapers). If he wants to be back in diapers, it'd be my inclination to let him do it and let him control the process. Once he feels in control he might not have any trouble deciding he's done with the whole whole diapering thing and ready for the pot.

I have nothing helpful to say... just wanted you to know that you are not alone. This is exactly, EXACTLY what I went through. I started training him at 2 1/2, went right to big boy underwear, and he did great for a few months. Then he started having poop accidents. I dealt with it for maybe 7 months before I finally gave in and went to Pull-Ups for my own sanity. He is now 4 1/2, and we STILL have issues. He's back in underwear except for night time, of course, but pee accidents are almost daily and poop accidents happen at least once a week.

Just remember that he is not doing this to upset you. The more you get upset or frustrated, the more he will, too. And that won't help either of you! Patience, patience, patience, lots of encouragement, and maybe use a timer to tell him to go every hour or something like that. Hang in there.

He's just not ready and you are beating yourself up by trying to force it. He will do so much better if you just wait a bit longer and try again when he's ready. The pull ups will help him to be able to pull them up and down when he starts doing the deed....

Also, he may do better if you wait until it warms up again in the Spring. I found that kids don't do well when they get cold during winter months. They do well in the Spring and Summer if you can just wait that long.

We also did candy, 1 jelly bean for pee and 2 for pooh or mini m&m's. Same ration of what ever he likes for a reward.

I keep giving out this article because it works. Read it, it's for kids just like your son (and mine!).

http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm

It just sounds like he isn't ready yet. Back off for a month or two and then try again (or better yet wait until he shows interest). If you are going to continue trying to train him now, then you need to catch him before he poops and have him sit on the potty. If he doesn't go at roughly the same time every day then he probably isn't ready for the toilet. Initially we told our daughter she couldn't start preschool until she was using the toilet. That got her interest piqued. Then once she was using the potty on a consistent basis (her doctor said to sit her on the potty every 1.5 hours for a few minutes) we told her for every 7 days she went without an accident she could either get a happy meal or go to the dollar store and pick out a few items. That seemed to work as motivation for her. She loves the dollar store. It is possible that your son doesn't "get" the pull up concept. My daughter didn't. We only used them for a few days before we realized that to her they were just like a diaper and diapers are for pee and poop. Once we put her in training pants and/or underwear things went better but it was messy for a few weeks. Good luck.