Hi All,
My son did a 3 day potty training that worked great. Then out of the blue(a month later) just started to act up at daycare, won't go on the potty( at daycare) pee & poop in his pants( at daycare). I have him home this coming week( daycare closed for a vaca). So I am hoping to snap him out of it. The program I did was all about having the child tell you when they have to go & putting them in charge so they learn thier own signals. I don't want to make this a big power struggle. I would love to hear what other people have done. Thank you.
Is the same thing going on at home or is it just while at daycare? If its just at daycare maybe its his way of showing something either there or the fact that you aren't there is bothering him.
We had the same problem when my daughter was 21/2. We just went back to diapers when this started. We then were going to see Thomas The Tank Engine. So we told her after we got back we were not going to buy any more diapers. So she then came home and we had a few days of poop & pee accedents. But after a week she was good to go. She still has pull ups for bed. but we can go into the car for and hour before she has to go. So we prepaired her for about 2 weeks before we left then reminded her while we were on vacation. Good luck.
At 2.5, I really think regression is the norm, not the exception. I can't tell you how many of my friends, and myself, have experienced this! You definitely don't want to make it a power struggle. That said, he may still need a little time until he is truly ready. You know he can do it, but being fully trained requires that something in their brain and body clicks on and it just becomes the normal way of life to use the toilet, no looking back. It took my daughter MANY tries to get it and she was 3.5 when she finally did... we were home for Christmas vacation last year and she just decided it was time. Within a week she was fully trained, no more pull ups and no accidents at night! I would just keep trying, talking to him about using the toilet, asking if he has to go, and just asking him to sit and try when he wakes up, after snack time, before a nap, you get the idea. I may be in the minority but I would not use bribery or prizes/food, it just complicates things for you and for him, and you want him to go for the right reasons, not for a reward. Just keep plugging the "big boys use the toilet" idea. Oh, and we LOVED the book "Once Upon a Potty", it worked great helping my oldest see that you sometimes have to sit a little while before the pee or poop comes out! They make a version for boys an girls. Good luck... I wish there was a magic answer but potty training is such an individual thing,. I have learned. I am taking a more relaxed approach with my youngest and planning to see if that goes any better when she is old enough!
Well, here is my advice (though I am going through much of the same with my second).
I definitely do not think going back to diapers or pull ups is the right answer (accept at night and maybe nap)He has already accomplished something. Whether you rewarded him with a prize, a trip to the store, or a pat on the back the first time - you've already done it. If you go back to diapers he will expect the same reward again and that just sets both of you up for trouble in the future.
I think you have to just stay the course with what you were doing before. Maybe a new potty book or something to reinforce but don't go backwards. Explain that he already knows how to do it and you are so proud of him.
If it only happens at Daycare he may just be too distracted to go (that is very common) He also may not like the way they handle potty time or may feel embarrassed having them wipe him. My oldest only liked for me or one of his two teachers to wipe him. He didn't think that Daddy and the second teacher did a good job.
I feel that the hardest part is dealing with your own frustration. Sometimes I think my son feels my frustration when he has an accident (though I try to hide it) and that makes him have more accidents because he is afraid to tell me anything involving the potty. I really believe potty training is harder on the adult than the child.
Hang in there!
I think you need to do more investigating. Find out about the schedule, vocabulary used, and situation at day care to see if there is a trigger to the problem in that situation. Did they change their routine? Did someone get impatient about wiping him? Did he not do a good job wiping himself? Did someone else have an accident/issue? Did another child say something or make fun of him? It only takes one kid saying "You're a poopy head: or something else to set them off!
Otherwise, I think you have to face the fact that 2.5 is extremely young for potty training, especially in boys, and he may not have been really ready either emotionally or physically. Sometimes parents get some initial successes that are either flukes and good luck, or a short term behavior that the child is too young to sustain. It will happen when it's time for him. You cannot force a child to use the potty, to eat, or to sleep - these things are totally in their control and are also tied to different developmental stages in many ways. So you have to be extremely patient and make it a non-issue. There are some good books - we used "Once Upon a Potty" and "Everybody Poops" but I have to tell you my child was well past the age of 3 when he was ready, and he was not dry at night for many years - that last one was purely developmental and the brain doesn't get the signal from the bladder that it's full. We saw several doctors on it and you wouldn't believe how common that is. The pedi urologist says he has some kids, especially boys, who stay on the night-time medication until they are past puberty! I'm not saying that will happen for you, but rather that it is purely developmental and out of your control (and the child's). They walk and talk at different ages, they reach puberty at different ages, and they potty train at different ages. He will NOT go to kindergarten in diapers, I promise you, so try to give him time to develop! Enjoy all his other advances and milestones, and try to reduce the stress for both of you.
Hi M.-
It sounds like your little one wasn't ready for the potty. I have 2.5 year old twins who regressed as well (even with an older brother to watch poop and pee on the potty each day). The arrival of baby #4 for us was likely the cause of the regression. A child will potty train when they are truly ready and it won't seem like such a struggle. This is how it happened with my oldest, so I know from experience to be patient and understanding while they learn this life skill - it is a process!
