Potty Training Problems.

Updated on October 23, 2006
J.M. asks from Norwich, CT
15 answers

I have a son who just turned 3 years old on Monday. I'm just now starting potty training with him and it's not going well at all. It seems it's a hit and miss type thing and usually more a miss then a hit. Any tips for potty training a little boy would be a BIG help, right now i'm getting a ton of different information and I'm lost.

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M.B.

answers from Providence on

Hi,
I would say to make it fun. Put cheerios in the toilet and see if he can hit them, and when he does reward him with a little something. Big boy undies are a good thing to do also, but I would start with the pull on diapers, and when he gets used to it get him a couple pairs of real underwear and let him pick them out, he will feel good about himself and the accomplishment will be great. It does take time but being a big boy is a big deal.

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P.P.

answers from Boston on

When my son was potty training I was a single parent. I used to take one square of toilet paper and float it in the toilet. His goal was to sink the paper with his urine. That worked well for aiming.

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K.J.

answers from Boston on

Hi Jerry
I am the mother of a 2yr old boy and I am having the same problem as you.My son use to be terrified of the potty but he seems to be getting better.What I did was at first,I sat him down to go just so he could get use to it.He is still too young to tell me when he has to go so every once in a while I put him on it and he goes.I was told by other moms to buy some potty training videos at Toys R Us,so that is my next step.You could also try the "cheerio in the potty" trick.Have him throw a cheerio in the potty and tell him to "aim" for it.A little unusual,I know,but it makes it fun for the child and you might get some results.Good luck!

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C.D.

answers from New York on

Hi J.,

I trained my son when he was two and a half years old and he has been clean for a while now (he is 3 now). The method is simple, you have to explain to your son that he won't be wearing any diapers during the day anymore. Just take them away from him and explain that he will be wearing underwear for now on. It's not a bad idea to take him shopping for some fancy underwear! Try to make him drink as much as possible, water, juice, milk, whatever, and then wait until he has to go. I can guaranty you that there will be accidents, when he starts going, just rush him to the bathroom and try to have go in there. Once he is done, tell him what a big boy he is and have him call his dad or grandma to share the exploit. Don't go to crazy though, I heard it's bad... It took my son two days, to be clean (pee-pee) but it took a lot more work to have him master the number 2 part! This whole thing takes a lot of time on your part and can be frustrating but try to stick to the plan. Putting your child back in diapers/pull-ups would be confusing.

Good luck!

C..

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T.

answers from New London on

My son finally began being interested in using the potty this past spring. He'll be turning 4 this December. Whenever we were home, he ran around nudey. I had to reinforce that we don't go potty outside....boys think that's cool. We would move the potty chair to wherever he was. If he was outside, it would be out there too. He is now peeing and pooping in the potty most of the time. The only problem we have is that he doesn't respect underwear. He thinks they are just another liner, like a pull up or diaper. With his teacher's blessing, he now goes to preschool in just pants (no undies). He doesn't have accidents at school or at home as long as he's not wearing any kind of "liner". We'll work on that problem next! It definately takes boys longer to even become interested in potty training than girls, but it does eventually happen. I wouldn't push him with it though. Just wait til he's showing some interest, praise him like crazy when he goes in the potty, but don't scold him when he doesn't. Remind him that big boys go in the potty and notice his body language when he has to go, then take him to the potty. Try to keep it as low-key as you can. That's the best advice I can give. Good luck and accept that it will happen when HE'S ready and not before! T.

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S.H.

answers from Buffalo on

Some kids are stubborn and pushing them doesn't work. They have to do it on their time. My DD is 3 1/2 and we're on our way, but still far from it. She does not care to be in a wet pull up, doesn't want to stop playing to go, etc... She doesn't care to wear the pretty princess underwear I bought her.

I hear alot of parents say they "trained" their kids by putting them on the potty at certain times of the day and they would go. A child psychologist friend of mine told me the kids are not trained, just the parents.

I have taken a relaxed attitude about it. I used to feel like people looked at me and thought I was lazy and I didn't know how to properly train my daughter. I decided they were the ones with the problem, not me. All kids are different and not all methods work on every kid.

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T.K.

answers from Hartford on

Hi J., I have a son who will be 3 at the end of October. We have been potty training for about 8 months now. I understand your frustration. I have done a few things to help the process. First i have found to make it really exciting and rewarding. We hung a sticker chart up in the bathroom and everytime he used the potty he put a sticker on it, when he filled up the chart we let him go to the store and pick out a prize, something small like a matchbox car or something else he liked. Now he dosn't even ask for stickers or prizes he just goes. If that didn't work i was going to fill a basket of little prizes and let him pick one out everytime he used the potty. One thing i have found is that it is not a quick process by any means. I hope this helps! T.

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E.R.

answers from Boston on

Hey J.,
I have 2 boys. My oldest was very hard to train. He had no problem with sitting in a stinky or wet diaper. I don't know if it was laziness or that he just didn't get it. It's kind of hard for a mom to train a boy 'cause we don't have the right eqiptment to set an example with.
What we ended up doing was about 3 months before his fourth birthday we asked him where he'd like his party to be. He said chuckie cheese. We said fine, but if wanted to have a 'big boy' party at chuckie's he would have to start wearing 'big boy' underwear, and keep them dry.

It worked.

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L.I.

answers from Rochester on

When we potty trained my son, we did the naked thing. It's getting a little cold, and obviously that won't work at day care, but it might help when he's home. Also, we let our son go outside (only number 1). He loved it and would run past two bathrooms to go outside. We did identify A place where he could "go" privately, and we had to identify such a place whenever we visited friends or relatives, but it worked!

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T.M.

answers from Albany on

My son turned 5 in July and we moved when he was 3.5 and he totally stopped all potty training. He would NOT use the potty and the harder I tried the more he resisted. We tried reward and punishment...Neither worked. I am not proud of it but we did back off and after about 6 months he took his own steps back to the training. He finally got it down right before his 4th birthday...Pretty much all on his own. Any type of trauma in his life could trigger this (moving,separation etc) As a matter of fact it took until this past birthday for him to wipe himself after going poop so...I hope this helps you feel like you are not alone. Good luck. T.

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A.B.

answers from Rochester on

Hi! I am the mom of Adam who will be turning 4 on the 19th of October. He was potty trained last March. What we finally ended up doing is when we watched TV, made him go potty after every show was over (we watch PBS, so there were no commercials). It helped, because he was pretty scheduled to go every 1/2 hour or so. We tried prizes, stickers, candy, and they didn't work at first.

He didn't really have an accident, pee-wise, but when he pooped in his underpants, I made him clean them up in the toilet and then help with the laundry. WHen he was doing it too much, I finally told him that if he did it again, I was going to put him in a diaper like a baby. Well, big boys don't wear diapers, so that stopped him. I never yelled at him, though, it was just matter of fact. (Oh, and I would put the diaper on backwards, so he couldn't just rip it off-it took a little bit of work to take it off).

He was potty trained in two weeks that way. He *still* wears a pull up to bed at night, but I can handle that. We're buying a package of pull-ups every 3 months, as opposed to every week and a half.

HTH!

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C.M.

answers from Providence on

Funny story for you.... (though most people will tell you not to reward your kids with food, we were young and had 3 young children at the time and were a little desperate to get out of diapers!)

when we were potty training my son, we got the idea to reward him with a little candy every time he used the potty. When he started going "potty" every 5 minutes for the candy, we knew his bladder control was fine and stopped with the reward system! but it just goes to show how clever they can be even at 3!

Just remember they all are ready at different times, don't stress too much about it. Best wishes!

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M.L.

answers from New York on

Boys will start potty training when they are good and ready! I've got 3 of them, lol, so I know. My oldest didn't get trained until he was 3 1/2 and it took him a long time with many accidents. My middle son was trained in 3 days - seriously!!! My youngest, however, took until after he turned 4 and he still has accidents.

The way I potty trained my kids was by just letting them run butt naked through the house when they were home. I bought a special potty and kept it within reach...even if it was in the livingroom. I brought them into the bathroom with me every time and as I sat to do my business, my boys would sit on their potty and do theirs. Don't try teaching your little one to stand and pee right away. Let them sit and do it. Make them a sticker chart for each step they do...sit down on the potty, pee or poop (poop comes much later, sorry!), flush, wash hands... you get the idea. Tell them if they get a star for each thing they will get a cookie or something. Make going potty fun. Charmin has a great potty training package that they give away for free...you might want to look that up on the internet.

And if anything...be patient!!! It takes a long habit of peeing and pooping in their diapers a long time to undo!!

M.

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T.S.

answers from Utica on

I never had to potty train boy's I am sorry, but I did have 2 girls. My first daughter was a tuffy. I got her to go on the potty ( well both of them actually) by taking them in there everytime I went, "hey if mom does it it must be ok". I also watched if there was a "schedule", for lack of better words, of when I was changing their diapers and when it came close to the diaper changing time, I took them into the bathroom to go. Letting your child run around naked also works, but now adays you have to becareful ( if a noisy neighbor catches wind of that you might just get turned into CPS), make going to the potty FUN!! I offered candy (M&m's, etc.), everytime they went they got to pick out 1 piece( but try to get a type of candy that is special, something that they don't and won't get anyother time)If they did #2 on the potty then they got to pick out 2 pieces.The biggest thing is DON'T RUSH IT!! When he's ready he'll be doing good. Sorry that i couldn't give you any advice on boys themselves, but i hope some of what I sadi help!!

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A.A.

answers from Rochester on

i know exactly what you are going through my son is now 3 1/2 & fully potty trained...everyone i talked to said for boys thats when it usually comes you cant force it...seriously they just wake up & then they can do it....its totally weird but thats how it happened...

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