Potty Training Problem - Clearfield, UT

Updated on November 02, 2007
D. asks from Clearfield, UT
18 answers

I have been potty training my 2 1/2 year old son for over a month now. He uses the potty when he has to pee and poop and he also flushes the toilet. The problem is that he will only use the potty if he doesn't have any pants or underwear on. When I put underwear on him he always pees in them. I keep telling him that they are not diapers but his underwear are always wet. Any suggestions? Thanks!

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S.M.

answers from Denver on

D.-
I'm SO glad someone else has this problem. I wish I'd had this site when my son was going through this. Unfortunately, all I could do was let him grow out of it. Now I'm going through the same thing with little brother. Good Luck to us both!! S.

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

I have always potty trained by letting them run around naked first and once that is mastered I introduce the undies, let them pick it out, my son hates tighty whities, and actually went without underwear for quite a while, until I found the boxer briefs for him, what a difference, I think it was the restriction of the regular boys underwear, almost like a diaper or even a pull up, and then I would just remind him to use the restroom, it worked. Really I think it will come down to just reminding him to use the bathroom, and letting him know that accidents are okay, they happen but maybe next time he could try harder to get to the potty, thats what really worked with my daughter, she liked knowing she was doing good and so long as she tried I was proud of her effort. I know you got a lot of good advice so good luck!

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R.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have heard that, when a child goes go to the bathroom in their clothes, have them wash their own clothes out.

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F.B.

answers from Provo on

As a both a married and single father, I have potty trained three of my four sons (the fourth is three 1/2 and I am finishing up his potty training now), and all four of them have displayed the same behaviors at different times during the training period and for different lengths of time. I have started training each of them at the age of 18 months. One son picked up on it in 7 days. My current three and half year old has been going at it for almost two years, so you see, there is a wide variety of behavior responses depending on the individual boy.

I have found it helpful to use a Pull-up instead of a diaper then put the underwear on inside of the pull-up. These days it is nearly impossible to find the rubber pants I remember being used for my little brother (some thirty years ago) when my mother was potty training him with cloth diapers. However, a Pull-up over underwear offers the same "mental/tactile" reminder--(he will feel the urine/feces on his skin)-- but with a little less cleanup for you. Believe me, when he gets sick and tired of that mess in his underwear, he will start taking charge of the training, and then it will come more quickly.

Good luck!

--F. "Mr. Mom"

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T.B.

answers from Rapid City on

the on line book ____@____.com pottytrainer.com

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R.S.

answers from Sheboygan on

I don't have any advice. Just wanted you to know we are going through the EXACT samething right now. I feel your frustration and hope for all of our sakes, it ends soon! Good luck!! I know that leaving them naked, sometimes creates more of a mess. AAAHHHH!!!!

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S.S.

answers from Madison on

If you haven't done this already, you might try taking him to the store and have him pick out a package of underwear with his favorite character on them (like Spider Man, etc.) Maybe he will be motivated to avoid peeing in them. You could also try calling underwear "big boy pants" and make a distinction between those and "baby diapers". You might also consider that 2 1/2 is on the young side for potty training and he just might not be totally ready yet. Sometimes it can be better to wait a few months and have fewer accidents than to transition too early - having a lot of accidents can undermine the child's confidence and complicate the entire process. Good luck!

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C.H.

answers from Provo on

Hi,
I don't have any advice other than to have patience. Both of my girls potty trained the same way. We spent about 3-4 months with them running all over the house naked until they figured it out!!! So this is normal behavior on his part. Hopefully he will figure it out sooner than mine did. Good Luck.

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

I had that exact problem with my little girl. She was great while naked, but as soon as I put something on her little tush, she struggled. Frankly, I just let her run around in the nude. I didn't care and figured she got practice until she was ready to wear something. I probably did that for a few weeks or so... and now (as long as she's not overly distracted) she will even take off her diaper to use the potty.

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B.W.

answers from Grand Rapids on

See my request from Oct 18, I asked the same question.
I ended up getting regular big girl panties, not the thick training ones. I leave a night light on in the potty during the night hours since afternoon by potty doesn't get much light. I also leave the door open. She has goon for a week now with only 6 accidents. We still use the diaper at bedtime. I remind her every 45mins that it is time to go potty. Everything stops till she goes and at least tries, sometimes I have to take a toy out of her hands, and she throws a fit, but relizes very quickly that if she goes to the potty she can have it back.

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C.M.

answers from Milwaukee on

Put him on the potty every hour before he has a chance to pee in his pants. Reward him at the end of the day for staying dry all day. Start with a reward for each day - something small like match box car. Then when he is getting the hang of it make a chart where if he goes 5 days he gets to pick something big. Like a big toy or an outing out with you to someplace fun. Remember accidents happen - don't yell at him for them - no one is perfect including us.

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S.S.

answers from Omaha on

I used Character pants with my son at that age. I would tell him we didn't want to pee on Elmo, or Pooh, or whatever character was on his underpants. That seemed to help us.

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K.K.

answers from St. Cloud on

I am potty training my two year old boy also. He is in big boy underware. You might want to try bringing him to the toilet every hour to start with and then when he shows signs of beinging able to hold it lenghthen it out to every 2 to 3 hours. Make sure you praise him alot. If he is like my oldest he is stubborn and will not like being told to go to the bathroom everytime you take him. He may throw temper tantrums. After about a week, maybe at the most 2 weeks he will understand that he can go back to playing or whatever he was doing once he goes to the bathroom. Once he starts telling you when he has to go make a really big deal about it. It tends to encourage them. Last when he is pretty much potty trained then you could get him a special "potty trained" gift. My in-laws actually thought of this with my oldest nephew because he didn't want to go potty on the potty. The other thing that has worked with my boys is letting them stand on a stool and hold on to the back of the toliet with the lid up. They feel like big boys this way too. Whatever you do just remeber it is going to take some time and this is a skill that I believe they don't understand until we as parents teach them. I also don't think they understand the sensation or feeling of having to go to the bathroom until we make them stand/sit at/on the potty and they see themselves go. Well that is what I think boys are all about.

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H.

answers from Provo on

Sometimes it is about motivation. This worked for my daughter. We got a box of the tiny "My Little Ponies" and she got to have one out of the package at the end of the day if she went the whole day without an accident. Once she had earned all 6 of them we went to the store to get a big toy as a reward. For us it was a house for the ponies. It was something she was excited about and motivated for. My friend with a little boy is using match box cars. If he realizes that when he has an accident in his pants he isn't going to get his toy it might remember to go to the potty instead.

I do have to say that it really is all about when the kid is ready. We had been trying to interest our daughter in the potty for a year. Finally we just told her when she was 3 there were no more diapers. We made a big deal about how 3 year olds don't wear daipers. So when her 3rd birthday came it was do or die for us :) But she was finally ready and the toys sealed the deal. We also gave a cookie for the first week everytime she went to the bathroom in the potty...

Good luck I know how frustraiting this potty training is :)
H. P

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D.J.

answers from Madison on

when your son is ready to use the potty all the time he will let you know until then my suggestion is pull ups.

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M.R.

answers from Milwaukee on

I have 2 boys and 1 girl. My little girl was trained at 2 yrs old. Boys!!! Don't even waste your time before 3 years old. I tried in vain with both boys before then. My friend Robin has 3 boys so called her - she said "Don't even try until 3" I waited until 3rd birthday with both and they both took only a week then. It just seems like boys are not ready nearly as soon as girls to get on with that. I had the same problems you described. Just save yourself the frustration and wait a little longer. When they are ready, they're ready! Hope that helps!

M.

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H.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I don't really know if this will help, but I'll throw it out just in case. For my son, I read the book "potty training in less than a day" from the library, at my sister-in-laws reccomendation. It totally worked for us! He wet the bed at night once, the first night, and that was it! It is a very old book that was originally written to help handicapped people learn how to use the bathroom by themselves. I loved the idea of having my child do everythin by himself. I'm not really one to wipe a kids bum. We stopped wearing diapers and started using the potty in one day and never/ almost never looked back! I highly reccomend this book!

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P.K.

answers from Boise on

my daughter didn't want anything to do with potty training until she watched the movie "Elmo's Potty Time". As soon as it was over, she ran to the bathroom and went pee pee in the potty.

Also, I would have him go to the bathroom just before you put the underpants on him. then ask him every half hour or hour if he needs to go.

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