Potty Training nightmare.....going Backwards

I think I might know because we went through the same thing....you might want to stop using the words "big girl". She very well might not WANT to be a big girl. My son even to this day dreads his birthday because he likes the age he is and doesn't want to change. With her birthday coming up, she might be feeling a little resistant to becoming a big girl. She sees us Mommy Big Girls with issues, stress, busy lives, lots to do and think "Stop this train!!" Then she sees the baby and thinks now THAT'S the life!
Since 3 year olds have no ability to rationalize, all of these things bounce around in her head and manifest as regression.

all three of my children reverted. It's like they got bored with the whole thing. They didn't want to take a break from what they were doing to use the potty. I started using "consequences" that they didn't like, but it still took time and patience (and venting).

good luck!

HI D.,

Potty training is so frustrating but there's just nothing you can do about it. It's like eating and sleeping - the kid is in control. You can't force it. It's possible that moving things around threw her off, but it's just as likely (or more so) that it's just a power struggle. You have one kid who is fully potty trained, and one who is fully in diapers. Maybe the middle child can't decide what she wants to be. In any case, 5 accidents is too many. Just put her back in a diaper or pull-up without any comments other than this will be nicer and more comfortable for her than wet pants. The novelty of peeing 40 times a day probably wore off. You can put the little potty back in the bathroom without comment, and put the Dora seat there too so she can use whatever she wants to. Any of these choices will be easier for you than wet pants and "emergency" changes. Let it go and tell her she can do any of these things that she wants. After a while, you can re-introduce the idea of rewards for using the potty, but if she was going 40 times a day, you can't use 40 rewards! It may be that she really wasn't learning to listen to her body's signals - she was just always on the toilet so there were no accidents. Try not to be frustrated - I know it's hard but it's not helping you or your daughter. Once we moms give up the idea that we can control this stuff, it takes the pressure off and she may come around. She's only just 3 and I promise you that she won't go to kindergarten in diapers! Good luck!

Hi Denises - just a couple of quick thoughts... Was she a part of moving the little potty out of the bathroom? That piece is very crucial. A lot of potty training is about control, and if you didn't include her in that exercise... She feels it is not within her control (i.e. your word - "forcing.") Make sense?

Also - just give it time. She has a younger sibling that gets babied more than she (though she used to...) and because she doesn't have the mind or words to articulate it, she's reverted to baby behavior.

Focus on the "big girl" stuff aside from potty training. And make her a part of the choices and placement regarding her little potty seat (later).

Hope this helps!

Hmmm. I would just back off and not let it be a big deal. Nonchalantly help her clean herself up and let her go on her merry way. It's probably a control issue - she wants to be in control. If you make it so it's not a big deal, she can feel like it's HER decision to go, if that makes any sense.

I probably shouldn't be the one giving advice as my own 3 1/2 year old has been going #2 on the potty for about 6 months now but pretty much pees in her pull-up at will. LOL. Of course, she'll stay dry ALL DAY at daycare but not at home. grrr LOL

Good luck

My daughter did the same thing at age 2. She wanted to use the potty at 18 months so I went out and bought her one. It was never mandatory until she was 2 years old. Which she then became a pro. However, at 2 and a half years she didnt feel like going potty anymore and just went in her underwear whenever she felt like it. It was a difficult time for me. I was so confused as to why she would just stop after doing so well. I would never reward her for going in her underwear. I told her that big girls who go potty can do big girl things, such as not having to sit in the stroller all the time, doing the monkey bars at the playground, getting one extra cookie during snack. Whatever works for you. She eventually grew out of the stage and went potty all the time. I know its not much. But thats how I pulled through. I wish you luck.

Give her back the small chair, kids cannot go if their feet are off the floor.

Goodmorning D.
I know what you mean but don't get discourage sometime it take time .
Here is a sugestion it might work when you have to go tothe bathroom or not every 2-3 hours ask her if she want to come with you to the bathroom Mommy has to go to the bathroom lets go together, put her on her small potty and you on the toilet try that, after a while give her a small book to look tru see if it work.
GOOD LUCK

Just curious if she has actually expressed in words that she doesn't want to use the adult potty? If not, you might want to see if she has a urinary tract infection. Also vaginal strep can cause that problem as well.

My input is that it isn't always a straight line in the learning process, and other things can cause a regression. For mine, both regressed when going into a growth spurt, or cognitive leap. Don't sweat it, she is tougher on herself than you can be, just treat it matter of factly, she will be back on the potty in no time. If you think she needs the small one still, she may. When she is ready, she will say so. I kept my dora ring for a year after, just for peace of mind. They were done with it, but wanted the security of knowing it was there. Hang in there, she is on the right track.

I would put the old potty back in the bathroom. Even though she loves the new Dora toilet seat - it might be difficult to get on it "in time" I would also be careful not to be negative about her accidents. Just clean her up and move on. No guilt.

I would buy new Dora/princess/pretty pony big girl underwear - show them to her and tell her she can wear them when she's "ready." Maybe after three days of using the potty and staying dry. You can post a sticker chart with three spaces to show her what three days looks like. Remember, she has no concept of time.

Finally make a big deal each time she is successful. Going to the bathroom on the potty is a big deal when your three.

T.

We are having the same problem with our son who just turned 4 this week. We were living in Japan for 3 years... when we left Japan, he was using the toilet, but after moving back to the states in January, he regressed... Then, in February, I was so relieved to see him back using the toilet. Then, in March, he stopped using the toilet again. At his preschool, he always uses the toilet, but at home it is spotty. It was very frustrating.

Both my mother (who raised 4 kids) and my mother-in-law said the same thing, "don't sweat about it". They also suggested not to use any pull ups...

Since I stopped using pull ups (except at night) this week, my son has done much, much better. He now understands a mistake leaves him very uncomfortable in wet pants...

D.,

Just a thought but she could possibly have a urinary tract infection. You should have her checked.

J. L.

It sounds like you have your answer:

"wonder if we scared her by moving the little potty out of the bathroom forcing her only to use the big toilet. "

Why did you make the change?

This happened with my daughter shortly after potty training. She had a mild UTI and couldn't tell when she had to go because she felt like she had to go all the time. Ladies you know what I mean. Help her learn proper wiping technique. To treat the irritation start by having her drink a glass of water with a 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda (she may not like the taste)or try opening cranberry capsules in unsweetened apple sauce. If all else fails let the Dr. prescribe antibiotics. But that can lead to the other problem and she could develop yeast. Start by encouraging a little extra water, avoid all sugar and encourage snacking on veggies. If it's not physical she may just need more attention.

hi there, my daughter did the same thing. she trained at 2yrs, very easily, and was accident free for almost a year, when all of a sudden we had 3 weeks of accidents (and there were no changes in home life, stress,etc that i could figure out). I too was perplexed and even called my ped to ask the same question you are asking! They had her come in, just to rule out a UTI (which can cause this); and it was negative. This phase then just stopped on its own. We still have battles sometimes to get her to stop playing and take care of things, but the accidents just seemed to pass with very little effort onour part (just lots of reminders, talking about how we want her to stay dry, etc). Hopefully this will just pass, as long as the UTI thing is ruledout! Hope this helps, good luck!