Potty Training Nightmare!!!

Your poo issue with your son sounds very commmon. Although I didn't have this issue with my daughter, I know of several moms with boys that would do exactly what your son is doing...so I can only offer 2nd hand advice about what they did! One boy goes to pre-school all day and never goes in his pants (he is pee trained)....as soon as he arrives home he asked for his pull-up and would hide behind his dresser in his room and go. His mom slowly (and sneakily!) would take longer and longer getting the pull-up ready when he would ask and have the urge to go until one time she very happily and excited said 'oh goodness I can't find one..hurry, come into the potty, fast..." In all the chaos and excitement, he went on the potty! He would still ask for it but she would give it in the bathroom and started making him take it off to clean up...which he did not like. The last thing they did was to not buy anymore pull-ups, and he had no choice because he would not do it in his underwear.

Another mom simply did not offer an alternative (no pull-up or diaper to poop in). She made a HUGE deal about him picking out some super cool underwear (in hopes that he would not want to mess them). When he did mess them, she cut them off and threw them away. He only pooped in his supper cool underwear twice and didn't want to ruin them!

Most other moms I know just wait it out....making a fuss over the fact that they just arent comfy or ready isn't necessary and only stresses everyone out, especially the kid. Most Dr's will say that they will do it when they feel right about it, with subtle gentle coaxing :-) If he refuses to go anywhere but outside at your home, then starting school shouldn't be an issue. I would not by anymore pull-ups and have him wear underwear.... but I would do it gradual so he doesn't stress.

p.s. - from what I have experienced and heard from other moms - girls are far easier to potty train, so don't worry, let them lead and you follow...it's so much more natural and smoother.

I think putting a potty outside is a great idea. Get him use to the potty there if he will. Then you just casually talk about how great it is to go inside on the regular potty like a big boy because you get to flush and say bye bye to it. One day, HE will make the decision to go inside. Put the potty outside and tell him he can choose where to go. If he goes on the potty, he doesn't have to get cleaned and he can do it by himself. Then back off and see if he decides to try it, it might take a few days. It is amazing how hard this stuff is!!

Hi K.,

Welcome to the clube. I don't think your probblem is that unusual at all. Our son had the same issue and we heard from lots of other people who did also. Luckily for us, he was very regular and chose to poo in his pull up behind his bed. So most days he'd wake up, squat behind his bed and THEN call us in to change him. We finally turned the corner one morning when he didn't go and we were going to the Renesance Festival. I spent one MISERABLE day in the rain taking him to a PORTALET every 10 minutes because he was in pain and had to go. We even drove to a CVS so he could try it in a normal toliet. No luck. Finally near the end of the day we put him in a pull up to go home and he pooped before it was even half way up. We were very supportative and told him it was ok. From that day forward, he has really tried to go on toilet and finally got good at it with the seat all the way up. (I'm ok with it if he is). We give him lollipops everytime he does it and are now working on wiping himself. People also suggested trains, cars and stickers on a chart as motivation. For us, the turning point was the day it was more inconvient for HIM than it was us. Hang in there!! He will not go to college pooping in a pull up (or at least that's what we were told)

Just so you know I have the same problem. But my son is 3 1/2 and will be starting school in 20 days. He goes all day to the potty but when its time to poop he asks for his pull up and goes in his room. Our doctor told us to have him clean it up. It's not fun and a huge mess but hopefully this nightmare will end soon. I have forced the no pull up and he also held it and became constipated so if you get any great ideas I would love to hear about them. Good luck!

Try putting the potty seat outside at first to get him use to going on the seat, and then maybe move it inside. At some point he will adjust to going normal in the potty but I think most kids are picky about going or afraid to go all together. My husband for example: (lots of kids are like this), when he was little and potty training, he use to take all of his clothes off before he got in the bathroom to go and they had to be outside the door. My son wont poopie in our bathroom, but when we go to other people's houses or public bathrooms he goes no problem and his shirt has to be off along with his pants. He takes them off at the door. haha. Every child is different, just try your best not to loose your mind, and stick to the plan what every it might be. Good luck.

K., I totally sympathize - my son is also 3 and will not go poo in the toilet either. He's pretty good about using it to pee- though I have to bring him to the toilet when we are home (he won't go on his own; gets so distracted and has accidents but he does better when we are out). But when it comes to #2 no luck - I am also feeling very frustrated and am very eager to read advice from other moms! I have tried having him sit on the toilet before taking his bath, and seeing if that works (since that is also usually when he has his daily BM), but no luck so far. He does think that is fun though so maybe some day soon he will be ready. He just seems to think it's no big deal to go in his underpants/diaper. And then he tells me he went - he definitely doesn't like to be dirty. Aghhhh!