Potty Training!!!! (Kid Won't #2 in the Potty)

Updated on May 28, 2008
C.S. asks from Shawnee, KS
15 answers

I would appreciate any ideas/advice on getting your child to poop in the potty! My daughter has been doing a great job with peeing in the potty, but I can't get her to go #2 in there--she would rather hold it and wait until nap time (since I still put a diaper on her at nap). She almost seems nervous about it. Anyone else have this problem?

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A.P.

answers from St. Louis on

My son would only pee on the potty too. So I told him he could wear a diaper to poop but had to sit in the bathroom till he was finished. About a week later I told him to sit on the potty with his diaper on and go. Within days he was going on the potty. Maybe worth a try.

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V.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I had that problem with my daughter at that age. I remember calling the doctor and he said it wasn't uncommon, because #2 is solid and they see it as a "piece of them" going into the toilet and that's scary for some children. In the middle of the night her bowels would release and in the morning her underpants would be full. It went on for a while, I started giving her prunes to eat at lunchtime to make her go before bedtime, and eventually she started doing #2 in the toilet. My daughter was 3 at the time (she's now 11) so the details are sketchy, but I remember the feeling of what am I supposed to do about this? Toilet training is not easy, I have a 2 1/2 yr old son I hope to start training this summer. Physically he can do it, but mentally he's not ready, but I know he will at his own time. Your daughter will too when she's ready. Good luck, V.

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D.M.

answers from St. Louis on

As silly as it sounds, I had read that some children fear doing #2 in the potty because it's part of them. It's part of them and then you flush it. I read the response below and I agree to try and not make a big deal out of it, eventually she will go in the potty...and before she's 15... I know it's frustrating but she will do it eventually...all kids are different. Hang in there but if it continues to bother you, talk to the dr. because the holding it thing is not good. My daughter has stomach issues due to holding it when she started school.
Good luck!

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K.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi C.. It sounds like your daughter's stress is just going to compound the problem, and she may even start getting constipated with further stress. I would recommend just laying low about it for a while. I would just praise her going potty and when she poops just don't say anything. I mean anything. It is hard- trust me I know after potty training a bunch of preschool children, but if they get no attention at all, that will be the worst thing for them. If you wait it out, it is bound to happen. She knows she has all the control on this issue. It will happen, just on her own time. See if you get better results by not saying anything for a while. She will want to get your attention again, I bet. Good Luck!

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K.B.

answers from Columbia on

When my daughter did the same thing it turned into trouble that lasted for years! My daughter was so good at holding it in, we ended up having constipation problems. When she was about 3 years old I started giving her mineral oil twice a day. Fruit, water, etc. wasn't enough for her. She was on mineral oil for 2 years. But, eventually, she worked out of it. Now she is 7 and has no problems. Call your doctor and ask how much mineral oil is ok for your child. I remember our doctor saying 2-3 tablespoons a day was ok... it's a natural supplement. Take care of it as soon as you can... I spent way too many hours sitting in the bathroom with my daughter trying to convince her that it wouldn't hurt to go poop! Good luck!

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S.D.

answers from Topeka on

This is common alot of children rather pee than poo into the toilet is she on a training potty and not the big potty alot of children are afraid they will fall in and then the flush scares them my son held his poo in for a week and then finally went into the potty to do it after much encourgament and long talks he finally stepped onto the big potty and done his poo and has done well for about yr now he was potty trained after he was 2 and it was along haul but he has done very well.I would let her sit on potty with a toy or something while your in there and talk to her it will come in stride.How old is your daughter by the way if she is under 2 it may be too soon.

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M.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I have this problem too although it is in the underpants since I refuse to put him back in a diaper. He hides and goes in his pants and he also refuses to sit on the potty ever (stands for number 1).

I found making him sit on the potty for an extended period of time made him have red toilet seat welts and difficulty walking even before 20 minutes.

It took 4 months but eventually he got potty trained and is doing great now.

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J.P.

answers from St. Louis on

My son was potty trained by age 2 but would not poop on the toilet either. He would always wait for the pullups to be put on at night and every morning my husband and I would wake him up with a dirty pullup. Finally when he turned five and still not doing it on the toilet...my doctor suggested we give him something he was interested in (his gameboy)and make him sit on the toilet andhe eventually learned how to poop on the toilet. He is 9 and still has to have something to do when he goes. But at least he does it on the toilet. Good Luck!!!

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G.B.

answers from St. Louis on

It takes a while to relax the muscles enough to poop. When she is asleep she is totally relaxed.

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L.J.

answers from Kansas City on

hi my daughter did the same thing! I can understand how frustrating this can be, but it shall pass my daughter is 3 1/2 and just now feeling comfortable going poop in the toilet. I found that if I asked her and kept nagging on her, the more she refused( she is very strong willed) so I received lots of advice and bascially everyone said to leave her alone and let her do it at her own pace and not make a big deal out of it, but do give her lots of praise for peeing and simply explain to her that this is where the poop should go too. she will get it, I was so happy when my daughter finally got it! it does take alot of patience and simply avoiding the power struggles of making her go. hope this helps and hang in there!

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L.C.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi C.,

My son had this problem, too. I finally just happened to say one day, "Just sit on the potty and let it fall out." That worked for him. I don't know if it will work for you. I think my son just couldn't figure how to get it out while sitting up.

I hope it is that easy for you!

L. C.

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K.B.

answers from Wichita on

Good Morning C.. Yes it happens to alot of children. They are relaxed and not thinking about it. Went through the same with our now 3 yr old gr son. We tried about everything also, bribes, toys, reading books while he sat there. Nothing would happen until nap time and his pull up would be loaded.

His Ped said not to worry about it as it would just happen one day and it basically has. He still has a loaded pull up some days but that seems to be only when he has been a tad bit constipated. He has very large bowel movements some days.

What has worked for Him anyway, is when we told him he had to be a big boy and go poop in the toilet to be able to go to School in the fall. He really started trying then.
Now when he goes poop we do high 5's call his momma and daddy at work real quick and they give him Good Boy, proud of you's. Extra hugs when they get home.

Give her time she will come around soon.

God Bless
K. aka Nana of 5 gr kids
Benton, Ks

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E.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I had the same problem with my 3 year old daughter. I got some good advice and it worked so I though I should pass it on. I was told to just "let it go" don't ask her to poop on the potty don't make any kind of big deal out of the fact that she wont do it. Don't shame her when she poops in the diaper at nap-time. Don't mention it to her unless she brings is up. Say things to her if she brings it up like "yes poop goes in the potty" or "Yes I poop in the potty". Remember that she won't do this forever and if you let it go she might just come around sooner than you think. My daughter came around in a few weeks and now I feel silly about being so stressed out just because she wouldn't poop in the potty. Let her see you poop in the potty, but don't pressure her to do it. When it does happen (and it will) give her tons of praise and ask her how she feels to be so big? Good luck and remember these are the small things we deal with, there are bigger fish to fry as she gets older.

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A.R.

answers from Topeka on

My daughter was the same way. We made up a song about it and it seemed to help!

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Like several other responses, my first child held his poop until I put him into a pull-up at bedtime. My pediatrician said he would grow out of this, but he continued to do this until he was four years old and his pre-school teacher asked us about it. I often wondered what he would do if he had a bout of diarrhea at school. By then, he was old enough to understand the need to use the toilet and we just had to reassure him and help him get over his fears. I was determined to see if potty training child number two could be different than that and I asked for suggestions. One friend told me she let her daughter go naked at home until the child had to poop and had nowhere to go...even if it meant that poop would wind up on the floor. I tried that and when I saw my son had that "look on his face" I quickly placed him on the toilet. A second time I didn't catch it in time so needless to say I tried a method that worked best for him. I read somewhere to have the child start out just sitting on the toilet (even with a diaper) for a very short time...say 20 seconds. Next time increase the time so more. Once they get comfortable with that, have them sit without the diaper gradually increasing the time. This takes away the pressure to perform. I had very good luck by reading a story or two to him while sitting on the potty. He enjoys this special story time and it relaxes him enough to get the job done. I was very pleased he trained this easily since he is a somewhat stubborn child (that I love very much). You might have luck with this if you try putting her on the potty 20 or so minutes after lunch (before her nap) when the body frequently feels the sensation to move its bowels.

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