Potty Training Issues with #2 - Anna,TX

Imagine yourself receiving messages, subtle or otherwise, from a boss informing you of her impatience with you, and comparing you badly to other employees. It probably wouldn't inspire you to feel capable or confident, may leave you feeling hopeless, angry or exasperated. You'd eventually focus more on your worries about her feelings about you than on your job.

Your daughter probably knows your feelings of frustration, and how she compares in your mind to her sister. I hope you can sense how discouraging a frustrated mommy could be to a small child as she approaches a major developmental milestone. Potty training is complicated and challenging if you're not actually ready to master it yet.

If she's only two, she's on the early end of when kids are usually mature enough to potty train. For girls, most won't be fully trained until 2 1/2 –3 1/2 (though there are exceptions), because it takes that long for the nervous system to mature, bringing with it the ability to recognize urges and prompt the act of voiding (or hold back until a potty is available). This maturation occurs at different times for peeing and pooping for many chlldren, with pee success usually (but not always) happening first. Kids are all such individuals.

Before her body is matured enough, getting frustrated with her runs the risk of setting her back emotionally. Littles are thrilled with success at new capabilities, but discouraged and even soured by lack of mastery if the parents show disappointment or frustration. She's not ready to recognize a quadratic equation yet, and you wouldn't expect her to learn algebra. On a physical level, it may be a long while yet before she can learn to recognize the sensations around poop, and what to do about them or at what pace.

Whatever you can do to keep the process light and playful will probably work toward success in the coming months. My grandson loved role-playing with his toys while he was learning. Comparing your daughter to her sister and labeling her a "difficult" child may seem subtle enough to a parent, but are loud, negative messages to a child that will work against her willingness to cooperate.

Maybe she just isn't ready? She may have trouble pushing poo out from a seated position on the potty. My son is now three and potty trained. And at two he would tell me it was too hard to poop on the potty. Even now while he is going sometimes he will say "wow, this is really hard..." He grunts and make a big ole production out of it;) It is really cute actually but he is serious! But now he can handle it so he goes on the potty every time. I think all kids are different and her muscles might not be ready to handle the whole poop sitting down thing. Also I tried to train my son by putting on the potty at specific times, wow, he totally rebelled against that! Anyway, I tried the whole pull up thing and it didn't work out bc he would just pee in the pull up 90% of the time. So I ended up just telling him we would go back to diapers for a while and he was relieved!! I tried again a couple months after he turned three. He was ready and fully trained in like three days!!! I didn't use a book or anything, just waited longer. So if that happens, never fear, I think she will train later just fine!

i keep some of my daughters favorite books on the back of the toilet and when she has to poop, she gets her book, climbs on the potty, and goes while she reads her book. we had no problem with peeing in the potty but she absolutely would not poop so i tried reading to her but it didn't help. i told her we would pick out a few books to leave in the bathroom so she could "read" like a big girl while she used the potty. i have know idea why it worked, but it definitely did!!!
give the books a try, maybe it will work miracles for you and your daughter too!
good luck!

I think you should put her back in pull-ups. Of course that is just an opinion, but I would rather do that again than clean poopy panties. You just tell her that when she is able to go on the potty and not in her pants she can have her panties back, but don't be mean about it. In fact, you should act as though you have no opinion about it what so ever. The moment she thinks she can mess with you or your feelings, she will keep it going, like a game. I would also continue what you are doing during toilet time, reading to her and distracting her until she goes. Do this several times a day, even if she does not poop, just keep doing it. Once they go on the potty for a few days solid it all gets a little easier.

Sometimes kids are just not as ready as we would like them to be. I know that's frustrating, but if you try and make it an issue she will hold out on ou even longer. I know from experience. I was really young when I had my first child and potty training was a nightmare. He would pee in the toilet but not poop. He wasn't afraid either, but it became a power struggle that lasted until he was nearly four. I promise you, a few more months in pull-ups will be far easier on you than a couple more years of poopy panties. Good luck, I'm sure you'll get some really good tips here from all of the moms who have been there before.

I don't really have a suggestion but I wanted you to know I'm going through the same thing with my son. He turned 4 in June and flat-out refuses to go poop on the potty. He knows the "Poop in the Potty" song (search for it on YouTube), you can ask him where poop goes and he'll say in the potty, before turining out the light at night he goes tee tee in the potty and says "No tee tee in the bed, no poop in the pants". But when it comes time, he always goes in his underwear. As I'm cleaning him up, he'll say he's sorry and says "I love you". I'm doing my best to keep from punishing him when he does this because I don't want him to think he's doing something wrong by going poop. Sometimes I'm able to watch his signs (hiding in a corner, telling me to leave him alone) and then set him on the potty but once he's sitting, it's almost traumatic for both of us. He starts clawing at his legs, crying and screaming hysterically to the point he starts gagging, pulling at his clothes and tugging on himself, saying "I don't like it! I don't want to go poop!". All the while I'm sitting there almost in tears myself telling him he has to stay there and he has to go poop in the potty. I hate it and it's become an almost daily thing. His doctor said to put him on the potty for at least 10 minutes every hour and a half but when the result is the previously-mentioned behavior, I find that very difficult. We've even tried really cool rewards from a chart where he gets a star and then he picks out a toy when he gets so many stars to shooting off a bottle rocket in the back yard when he goes poop in potty (we live in the country so fireworks are allowed). Anyway, like I said, I don't have a solution for you, but please know there are others out there just like you that are going crazy over poop, of all things. Just hang in there.

we started just putting our daughter on the potty after dinner every night until she pooped. That was her general poop time, but I think you could still try it. Picking a time when she'll possibly poop and just sitting her on the potty and having her try. Good luck!

I don't know if you'll like this answer or not, I didn't have to try this with my kids, but someone I know did this: She felt that her kids just didn't want to make the effort to go poop on the potty, so she would make them help her clean the poopy panties. They thought it was gross and started going in the potty so they wouldn't have to clean them! Sounds gross, but hey, if it works, it works! Of course, on the other side of things, maybe she just can't control those muscles yet, and if that's the case, then having her help clean won't work, but it might be worth a try! Good luck!