Hey Moms, We finally got our 4 year old (at the time 3 1/2) out of pull ups. His accidents are few and far between however he will sometimes pee in places other then the toilet...such as beside his bed on the shelfs, inside containers that are meant to hold his toys, and in the trash (which is right next to the toilet). Im pretty sure most of the time it is not because he can't hold it and because he is either affraid to go into the bathroom or wants to get in there and get out..but at this point im really not sure why he does it. Has anyone been through this and have any advice on how to stop it. If he is affraid how I can help make him understand there isn't anything to be affraid of and he needs to pee in the toilet? I am so tired of this room smelling like pee and then trying to find a way to get the smell out and the bathroom always smells no matter if I clean it everyday!! Im at my wits end!!Thanks!!
This sounds like a willingly done behavior.
Maybe he thinks it's really cool that he can hose that thing around.
Maybe he's doing it for attention.
When my son used to miss the toilet and it appeared like he did it on purpose, I used to make him (at least) help clean it up. That seemed to get across the point that someone had to clean up the mess and I am not the maid.
J., since he's 4, and not a toddler, it's a behavioral issue. I would tell him flat out that he is not permitted to pee anyplace but the toilet and let him know he'll be punished for doing so. He isn't being toilet trained, he's past that point and he's doing something unacceptable, which at his age, he is able to understand. At 4, when you break a rule, punishment is appropriate.
I can identify! My 3.5 year old is still in Pull Ups half the time and recently he's started to pee in odd places. I'm chalking it up to experimentation - how to aim, how to gauge when he really has to go, and sure, what he can get away with. This is still relatively new so I don't think punishment, per se, is appropriate. I do tell him that peeing _________ (fill in the blank) is not OK and he needs to use the toilet. One admonishment per location seems to work and there are no repeats. His latest? Pulling the clothes out of his sister's bureau and peeing in the drawer. Ay! He's the last of my four kids and they all did it (boys and girls) so take it with a grain of salt and encourage bathroom use. It won't last forever, I promise!
Why would he be afraid of the toilet and bathroom?
I'd tell him that pee goes in the toilet, end of story, and make it clear that you are upset and that his behavior isn't acceptable.
When my 2.5 year old gets lazy, I remind her that if she isn't responsible and a big girl she will have to wear diapers. If I had a 4 year old, I'd tell him that he isn't allowed in his room alone during waking hours until he proves he is responsible enough to be alone. I'd then ask if he needs to go back to diapers (not pull-ups) until he can be responsible.
