Potty Training Issue - Earlville, IL

I say relax....as my dr. told me...have you ever seen a kindergartener go to school with a diaper on...it will happen. Stay positive....I know it is frustrating we are going through it with my 3 yr old daughter right now.

Hi B.,

We went through the same thing, but with a girl. So, girls are not easier to train. I agree with the last post. Our pediatrician told us to completely drop it for a month or so. The dr. said that basically she isn't ready, no matter what her age, so we will create more frustration for ourselves. And believe me, they will stick it out longer than you can.

As far as getting rid of the diapers go, we tried that as well. And, you know what, our daughter pee'd and pee'd and pee'd all over the place. So, that only works IF AND WHEN your child is ready to be trained. It's an issue you can't really force, especially with a stubborn child.

So, we dropped it for awhile and then she started to pee when all her friends were doing so. I can't believe I'm saying this, but the pooping came automatically...no problems at all!

Hope this helps a little as it can be extremely frustrating, especially when other's kids are trained and everyone is telling you how it worked for them.

I say have grandma call. Have her as part of the potty training. She can ask him if he's used the potty yet, etc. Use your cells so it doesn't become costly.

M.

Hi B.,

Sounds like you are both getting frustrated, understandably so. It may be that he's still too young. Even though he can hold it and tells you when he has stinky's in his diaper, he may not be able to "feel" the trigger signs that he needs to go. The average age for a boy to potty train is 3.5, so you might want to table the plan for a few months. I have 3 kids and I have found that later is actually better than earlier. A few extra months of diapers may mean the difference between a few days of training and months of training. Hang in there!

L.

Sounds like some control issues to me.... it's his way of having some control in his life...

I would drop it for a while

well first off you need to completely take away the diapers and if he is holding it evidently he will go on the potty. He is goign to have accidents and thats ok but when they start to show signs of potty training then you need to start right away. My youngest just turned 3 in april and i have him completely potty trained. Reward him like you said you have already. My first kid was alot harder to potty train but my youngest was super easy. He will get it but you need to stop putting the diapers on and dont worry about if he has accidents cuase its goign to happen whether you like it or not. Good luck and just take it one day at a time.

Hi B.-

I had the same frustration with my now 3 1/2 year old son...right before he turned 3. He REFUSED to use the potty. Stickers, snacks, candy didn't work. I know this is going to sound like no fun, but I was told by several moms that I just needed to let him decide he was ready and not push the potty on him. And wouldn't you know, about a month after he turned 3...I decided to try the underwear with him and he never turned back, using the toilet 90% of the time. Now he almost never has accidents. My doctor had also suggested completely not bringing up the toilet/potty issue for 1 month and see if that would help stimulate his own interest in the potty (but at the time she told me to do this, he just wasn't ready). I know it is frustrating when people tell you there is not much you can do and you need to just be patient with them, but believe me, that's the best advice I was given. Forcing the issue makes both you and your child really frustrated with eachother and I even began to joke with people saying "well, I know he'll be potty trained by age 16"! Hang in there, he'll get there and it sounds like soon!

Good Luck!

M.

My son was the same way. He was not fully potty trained until 3 1/2. It took 10 months of on and off trying. I knew he could do it if he wanted to, he just wasn't ready. What finally worked for my son was bribing him with dinner at the Rainforest Cafe. He LOVES that place and I kept telling him if he pooped in the potty he could go. (Pooping was our issue not peeing, he did fine with that). Finally he did and we went! So after the next 4-5 times we went, and that's all it took. No accidents since then.

It sounds like right now you just need to put him in diapers and back off for awhile. Regroup and think of something he REALLY likes and when you start up again tell him you'll do/buy him something if he goes. I swore I'd never bribe my son to get him potty trained but it really worked.

Good luck!

We used the book "Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day: Proven Secrets of The Potty Pro" (http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Train-Your-Child-Just/dp/0743...) and threw a potty "party" for our son. I'd been encouraging, but he hadn't even done anything on the potty and I was doing my darndest not to push him. The preschool wouldn't take him until he was potty trained, however. We held the "party" day on the 31st of March. He was potty trained by the end of the day although we did still have to continue to reenforce the effort the next day and we had accidents throughout the next week. However, he started preschool two days ago, and could have started sooner except that I had to go through the application process, etc. He will be 4 years old next month, so it was a long time coming. Boys ARE supposed to be harder (although my daughter is only a year, so I don't have experience with her yet) so I wasn't concerned that he took so long to train. The big push was only that I wanted him to be able to start preschool.

We did not do the big, full-on party at the end of the day per se, but he kept getting better "prizes" as he finished rows of stickers on his chart. The main deal is that it is a full one-on-one day with no distractions that is ALL about potty-training. Videos, books, and a doll for him to train before HE gets it all down himself. The act of training the doll and the constant reinforcement helps it click for him. I especially liked that it was all about positive reinforcement. The only issue I have had with it was that he got a little spoiled that day! lol. What was very cool was that my husband did the one-on-one day, which made it extra special to my son, since he doesn't get to see as much of his daddy as he does of me. The fact that he and his daddy have the same "parts" probably was helpful as well.

From what you've said, it sounds like your son is ready, so I'd go for it. Good luck!!

Potty-training is the ultimate control issue. Although my daughter was long capable of doing it, it was her final bit of control over the transition from little to big kid, and she resisted every step of the way. I had to learn to let go and allow her some control in the timing, since it was futile to push it. Incentives DO NOT WORK for some kids. We had a list of 12 highly desirable toys she wanted, plus other activities that she could do once she took the final step. She wanted all of those things desperately,but not enough to change over to toilet use.

I won the battle with my (unbelievably) 4 1/2 year old daughter just last week. She had refused to use the potty seat until she turned 4, but then only for pee. It took an additional 3 months to get her to use the toilet (with Dora seat). And it was only last week when she finally pooped into the potty seat instead of a pull-up ... we had already spent a month getting her to sit while pooping. I finally told her we were out of pull-ups, so she held it in for 3 days. That's usually the point at which I cave, but this time I gave her a lot of prune juice (mixed with apple juice, she didn't know the difference), made her be as active as possible and prepared to pull out the Miralax. Once she accepted there was no alternative she used the potty seat, and was SO proud.

I guess my point is, your son is driving you nuts, but he's not really too late. All the professionals I consulted -- and there were many -- assured me that training doesn't always take hold early, and isn't considered an issue until age 5. I know a lot of preschools require training for enrollment, but after my experience I find that approach Draconian -- a kid will train when he/she is ready, and not a moment before. With my daughter, it had to be her idea, her decision -- then, boom! Not only did she complete the cycle, she even starting using the bathroom at school instead of holding it till she came home ... another huge potty milestone for us.

Good luck -- try not to let it get to you, if possible. And don't let other mommies/family make you feel bad about this! It is what it is.

hi! my older son did this at 2.5, so i backed off but i did tell him that with out any doubt when he turned 3 he would have to give all his diapers away, that 3 yr olds just don't wear diapers. it worked for him, literally he was completley trained day/night within the week. good luck!!

when my son was 3 he was not potty trained and would not go on the potty for anything. we tried everything, rewards, bribes, took him to buy the underwear, the whole thing. i was talking to one of the teeachers at his gym class who told me to just go cold turkey. keep him at home, don't plan anything for a few days and be prepared for a mess. i was sceptical but desperate, so we did it. we told him ahead of time and picked a day to start. when he did have an accident, he would help to clean up. he would not get in trouble and there was no shame, it just was and he would have to help clean it up. it was 3 pretty gross days, but thats all it took. he is 4 now and even only occasionly has overnight accidents, maybe 2 or 3 times a month. i wish you a lot of luck because i know how hard it is.

That sounds frustrating. I think boys can be harder. We had a hard time getting my sone to poop on the potty too.

It might be that he doesn't want to be a big boy because he is jealous of his brother.

I'm not sure if he is peeing all the time in the potty. If not, put him in underpants. I found pullups or diapers demotivating.

Here's some ideas to try:

1. Don't stress it too much for a couple of days.
2. Reintroduce the idea slowly, talk about it casually (You know big boys use the potty - I do and so does Daddy)or get a book on a character who goes potty. We had a muppets one that my son liked to read.

3. Let him poop in the diaper, but make him ask for the diaper. Then slowly convert to the potty. Get him to help you put the poop in the toliet from the diaper and tell him that is where poop belongs.

4. We used lollipops and he got that for poop only. He then did it occasionally and then we moved to something big he wanted and we had a chart and he had to get 3 gold stars to get a Thomas train.

4. Try to get him to identify something that he really wants to motivate him to go in the potty. If

And remember, in the end, he will get it right and he won't be 10 and still in diapers.

Hi B.,
It's all about control - and I'm not talking about bladder control. It's his control over you. He knows this is something that he has over you. My suggestion would be to lighten up about it. I prompted my older son with not alot of cooperation, until one day, out of the blue and after a nap, he announced "I want to wear these" as he help up his underwear - and that was it - he was 3 1/4 yrs. old. My other son was nearly 3 1/2, and again, once I gave up on trying to control it - he decided on his own. Believe me - he won't go to kindergarten in diapers.
Good luck!