Potty Training Insanity!!

The book that works: Toilet Training in a Day. It even works for the mentally retarded. Good luck.

Hey I know the stress of potty training, some kids are so easy and others are nightmares. These are the three tricks that have worked for me and other moms. 1) If you are not bringing her in the potty with you, do so. That is important for her to see other people going potty too. 2) Start dumping her poop in the potty, whether it is from her panties or a pull up. She will start grasping the concept that is where the poop goes. That helped my son in a matter of days. It was like a game to him. 3) Make her help you clean the poop out of her panties. She is a big girl and can help do big girl things. She won't like doing it and will won't want to go in her panties nearly as much. Good luck.

Seems like she is putting you through the ringer! I had a very similar experience with my son when he was 3.5 I thought I had tried everything and then this tidbit was suggested to me by his preschool teacher and it worked like magic.
I took him to the dollar store and picked out about 8 toys and he watched me do it. I picked out things that he would like. We went home and he watched me wrap them up and asked me what I was doing and who the gifts were for. I told him that they were for him for when he goes poop in the potty. I set them in a basket and put the basket on a shelf in the bathroom. He was so excited to get one of the presents and it gave him the confidence boost he needed to give it a try. Within 3 days he was completely trained. I wish I had been tipped off long before that. Anyway hopefully it will work for you as well.
Also, you might consider increasing her fiber intake to "bulk-up" her stools. Maybe it's difficult for her to control her bm when they are so loose. Maybe they just sort of "sneak out" :) potty training can be so frustrating and don't think for a minute that others haven't been there and done things that they aren't proud of (yelling at our kids out of shear frustration)motherhood is NOT easy and the days are soooo long but the years are so short and it can be so rewarding, and this situation will be a little blurr and you'll laugh about it and give others advice of what to do once you get through it. Hang in there.

My little man is 13 months, so I don't have any experience with the PT process, but I can make a suggestion to help deal with the mess as you work through the process. I"m a cloth diapering mama, and many moms use flushable liners inside their diapers. They are sort of like a dryer sheet... but lay insid e the diaper (or in your case, her training pants or undies). Pee goes through. Solids are captured, so you can just grab the whole sheet and flush.

It'll make clean ups a lot easier. Good luck.

http://www.modernmommygear.com/Imse_Vimse_Flushable_Liner...

My time is limited right now, but I wanted to write something quickly...my son had the same issue, loose stools, kinda mushy and def. not formed. What I found out is that they have no control over it and don't get the sensation of having to go...it just come right out. My pediatricians were no help, but we did see Dr. Elliot Smith and he does Avatar (I hope that is the right name and spelling) and found that he had an inflamation of the large intestine. As soon as we got it cleared up he was potty trained immediately! It was really amazing. He is almost 4 and this was several months ago, so I feel your pain!!

Just because your son potty trained so easily doesn't mean your daughter will be the same. Every kid is different. I think kids do it on their own terms. It sounds like you are trying all the right things. Except, don't shame/punish her. Sounds like to me she is not ready. I would put her back in pull-ups/diapers. This is not a reflection on your parenting. She is not being beligerant (I don't think). She's just not physiologically/psychologically ready. Let go of it. She'll get it eventually. As you know, celebrate when she does get it right.

I would suggest going back to pull-ups for a while and NOT DISCUSSING THIS IN FRONT OF YOUR DAUGHTER. (Those aren't angry capitals, just important capitals.) Sometimes children aren't ready, even if they've tried it for a while. If there's any tension in the house about this situation, it will make the problem worse.

You might only have to go a few weeks with the pull-ups, maybe a few months. The key is acting like it's normal, and allowing her to use the potty again on her own schedule. She'll feel more in control.

Well, the best way to get over this hump is putting her on the potty every hour and a half whether she has to go or not.
You never ask if they have to go, they always say no 99% of the time! :) I would just tell her since she is going in her panties, unless she wants to wear baby pants again then she has to "try" and set her on the potty. Eventually she will go poop. Some kids take a lot longer to understand the urge for pooping. We all have lost our cool during potty training, don't beat yourself up.
I say honestly, put her back into pullups. I did with both of my kids and it was just because I was not cleaning up poop, or doing yucky poopy laundry anymore. When they were ready they were ready. I put my daughter back into pullups and did the setting them on the potty constantly during the day. Then it was short lived. For my son I didn't even go to underwear until we went 10 days without any accidents of any kind. Some people balk at pullups but they worked wonders and saved my sanity.
Like I said, don't ask her, just do it. It is a pain and not convenient but if you want to get past this then you have to let her body catch up with her brain and it all somehow falls into place with kids. Each child is completely different in potty training.

I would concider her diet for the poop. My son has a low tolerance. This means it is not an allergy but he can't digest corn, soy (bean), and dairy well. We by mostly organics and eat high fiber foods. Also look for healthy fats like avacado. Look up allergy Friendly Foods. It has good info on intolerance versus allergy. so fixing that, I got my son trained (same age as yours). He just didn't fel it before and I just tossed the underwear. Now he has healthy poop even though he goes three times a day or so...unless we eat out hard to avoid corn syrup and soy preservative and oils).

then relax about the other stuff. I also have a 4 year old girl. They both know where the laundry is if they wet. I showed them how to clean up if necessary...but niether wet on the floor anymore...just sometimes a little in their pants and they finish on the toilet. I guess I found out that it was just time to let go and relax as it was driving everyone crazy. I make sure we all go at regular times and make it routine. Oh, I also put a box of underwear on the back of the toilet for my 2 year old (also three in September). He jsut takes care of himslef now and it usually happens when he is involved playing. Oh, and I do laubdry on Wdnesday and sunday and sometimes it is ful of undepants, sometimes not...but I am not stressed out about it anymore. Lastly, preschool helped my oldest figure things out better too.

Hi S.,

I feel your (smelly) pain. When I started to potty train my son, I too could not deal w/the poopy underpants. So, I bought several packs of inexpensive underwear. I kept a bucket by the laundry for pee accidents, but when there was a poopy one, I put the whole thing in a grocery sack and threw it out. I also, let my little boy pick out "cool" underpants that he liked. He was distraught when he made a mess in one of those underpants and the pants got thrown away. Pretty quickly, the poopy accidents came to a halt. I hope this helps, and good luck.

I wonder if the loose stool is the reason she doesn't make it to the toilet? Does she have trouble getting there in time? If not, I wouldn't yell at her for having accidents, because it could turn into a control issue...she doesn't have control of much in her life, aside from her bodily functions.

S.-

I was just about to suggest what Diana said before me - that's exactly what I did with my son! He couldn't believe I'd throw Spiderman out!! Of course, neither could my husband since they are kind of pricey! But it worked. He didn't want to lose anymore of his underpants and started pooping in the potty.

Let her pick out some pretty, girly undies and then when she poops in them, throw them out. I wouldn't do it if she just has a small accident, but makes it the rest of the way into the potty (if you know what I mean).. but when she does "it all" in the panties and doesn't even try to get to the bathroom - the panties get tossed.

I tried pull-ups with my daughter and they were a disaster. She used them as though they were diapers as well. Not a fan of them.

Good luck!
C.

something that was a miracle for me was the naked weekend. I just put all undies and diapers where she could not get them (in the car!) and had her naked(except at night) all day for 4 days. Now, my daughter has the opposite problem as yours so we needed to use a laxative(under peds guidance) so she couldn't withhold. Sounds like with yours, that won't be a problem. We used this method with both my older kids and it was awesome. I hope this helps!

A.

My oldest son who is now 11 insisted on pooping in a diaper for the longest time! I just let him and it was his choice when he decided to use the toilet. Have you heard of love and logic? They have books etc. They talk about two choices, say " do you want to poop in your pull up or the toilet?" Or maybe take the toilet out of the equation and say, " do you want to poop in a pull up or a 'diaper?" That panty thing sounds frustrating! Good luck to you!

Your daughter needs to clean up the mess. She is old enough to start taking the consequences of her actions. After cleaning up a few pairs of poopy panties she will probably stop having so many of them. The key to doing this is to be nice but very firm. She will fight, scream, and yell because she doesn't want to do it. You need to tell her that we have to clean up our messes, just like when we make a mess with our toys and then make sure she does it! It will be very gross for the both of you for a while, but it will pay off big in the end for more than just potty training.

I too just got done training my almost 3 year old and pooing was very hard to get the hang of. I think the biggest problem is it seems scary and they just don't know how to let it go sitting down. My son tried to go on the potty for 2 weeks, but always got nervous and wouldn't go even though he needed to. What finally worked was I waited until I knew he would have to go (after a big greasy meal) and left him naked. I didn't take my eye off him for a second because I knew he would go when I wasn't watching. When he got the "poo face" I rushed him to the potty and he had no way of holding it in. When he was done I made the biggest deal of it, called all the grandmas and dad at work and praised him for the whole day.

The next time he had to go he wanted to, but was still very nervous so I just kept praising him and telling him he could do it. It got easier every time, but I always made a big deal of it for at least an hour so he would know how proud I was. It has been 4 weeks now and he loves going potty and I still praise him and call grandma every time he poops.

Good Luck, just stay positive and use positive reinforcement as much as possible. Kids love to please their mommy!

I will tell you what I did with my boy when I knew he knew when to go but would just go in his pants. He loves wearing shorts and says that if he wears pants he can't run fast. So if he peed his pants I would make him wear long pants for the rest of the day. He hated it and it only took 2 or 3 times for him to start using the potty. So my suggestion, since she is a girly girl, is to buy some boy underwear and if she poops in her girl underwear to make her wear the boy's kind for the rest of the day. She should hate this and want to do anything in her power to get out of wearing the boy's underwear. Just make sure you start new every day with the girl's underwear. I hope this helps!

I didn't potty train. I felt like I was more trained than my kids, so I talked about potty with the kids and about being a big kid. I just kept buying diapers, and when they said we moved on. My daughter however, although she was great during the day had night issues. So we still diapered her then. Then I got smart and quit letting her have a drink before bed, and had her use the potty right before she wnet into her room.

I'm not sure if I have advice on the potty training, I'm working on my 3 year old boy (sort of). But I wondered if she has diarrhea? Or is it just that she's getting plenty of fiber (if so, wonderful). Diarrhea can be a sign of dehydration, and it comes on quickly.