Potty Training Help Also!

Updated on October 24, 2007
C.Y. asks from Drexel Hill, PA
6 answers

ok i just read all the responses for Amy.it reassures me about my son being 4 next week.i think i have tried it all,backing off,having him pickout thomas underwear etc. now he will go poop most all the time,and pee but only if its during the day when i am home and i just have him in a tshirt.i agree with everyone on the pullups,when we go out and he has them on he just then goes in them.i tried underwear same thing.tried underwear then pullups on top same thing.only goes when naked.now he still doesnt wakeup dry .he is a very very sound sleeper,,so i havent started doing night time training yet except for cutting out any liquids after dinner.so im just frustrated because he knows how to poop and pee, only when its naked.we have the sticker chart which he loves,but again doesnt matter to him if he has pullups on.i have told him if he goes 3 days in a row he can go to the toy store and pickout a small toy,he gets excited and has a good day then but has never been 3 days yet.im confuesed,,he is not slow or behind etc.just stubborn like me! lol any new ideas??????? i have even told him the dr. will yell at me next week at his 4 year checkup!

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So What Happened?

thanks everyone! yesterday i tried a different twist.I told him how proud we were and that he had completed step 1.that he was ready for step 2.i had grabbed a pair of boxers that were like daddy's,and a pair of thomas underwear. i told him he could pick which pair he wantedto wear.(the other times he always just said diapers so this time i just made these two the choices)he looked skeptical but picked the thomas.and didnt he pee in time with the underwear on! he did get confused on the popps though and went in the underwear.daddy has to work on the pulling down part,,he pees standing/squatting.one step at a time,i am just happy we got hopefully a little further.

More Answers

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S.W.

answers from Harrisburg on

Hi C.!

How lucky for you that God has blessed you with a sweet little boy!

I am a mother of two, a 7 year old and a 3.5 year old.

I don't know if it will help - but when i trained my 3.5 year old boy, he did the same thing - he wouldn't pee in the potty - until i tried something - i encouraged my hubby to take him with him EVERY TIME he peed (at home; at a football game; at a restaraunt) and then he saw "daddy" peeing - and once he learned that he was allowed to stand up to pee (they are tall enough - they may need to stay on their tip toes - but they are less accurate when standing on a bench) then he would pee on the potty - but only standing up - once i let him stand up to pee we were out of pull ups within days - literally days. I dont' know if it will work for you - but it may be worth a try - plus the other up side to that is you dont' have "retrain" them later when they are older and wwant to stand up!

Good Luck!

S. W

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H.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

i haven't read all the responses to your note. i can tell you that your son would do much better with a reward on a daily basis for he is too young to be able to anticipate a reward in 3 days. He needs rewards that are more immediate in nature. not that you need to go to the toy store every day. it can be on a much smaller scale such as a sticker and a very big verbal praise at the end of the day or maybe with dad included. There is something called the gastrocolic reflex which means after he eats he is most likely to poop and this could be a good time to put encourage him. Your doing fine and he will also. hope that helps some. P.s. i am a child psychiatrist, i have no kids of my own but hope to some day soon and i hope you don't feel i am intruding. goodluck

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C.L.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I had the same problem with my four year old son and I went to the internet for help. I read that most Doctors recommend just ignoring the accidents. Meaning that when they have an accident just clean them up without saying a word and instead of asking if they need to go, because they will always say no, just tell them it’s time to go potty. I know it is difficult because you worry your child will be the only one in Kindergarten using pull ups but just be patient and he'll decide when he is ready. Unfortunately the one thing we cannot force our children to do is go on the potty when they don't want to. As a little tike that is one of the only things they have control over. So if you get all upset over the accidents it gives them power, if you just ignore the accidents the power is gone and they can decide going on the potty is not a dramatic event. It may take a little while but he will decide to go on his own... I promise. My son was driving me crazy with all his accidents. I tried lectures, telling him how disappointed I was, and I tried timeouts and every time he would cry and say he was sorry. All I was doing was making him more upset and more reluctant to go. Once I started ignoring his accidents he felt much more comfortable about going on the potty because the stress of upsetting me was gone. He finally started to go on his own after a few weeks. Now he only yells for me to come wipe him when he's done. Good Luck! Sometimes the only thing we can do is to just be patient:)

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N.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi C., it's normal..My son is 4 (turned 4 in July) and I just recently got him potty trained. He's not 100% but he is darn close.
It will come. It's frustrating and it's something you can't control.
Hang in there, you are doing a great job.

N.

B.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Sounds like you are having a control issue. LOL don't take it so seriously. Kids are kids and he is well aware he is making you crazy!! Personally I don't belive in rewards for something that they should be doing as part of the growing up process. I think doing the reward thing is setting yourself up for having to "pay" your child for each and every thing you want them to do. Before you know it you will be "paying" or "bribing" them for good grades, chores...whatever. You might want to avoid that trap. There are just some things that you have to do as a person and as a member of a family that you won't "get" something for! My middle one (back when she was 31/2) didn't want to potty train either...she was just too busy to be bothered. To make a long funny story short one day I lost my patience...it was just one too many stinky pull-up! I gave her a quick swat on the behind and told her firmly that "tomorrow you are going to wear panties and you will not have any accidents and you won't be wearing pull-ups anymore except for bedtime from now on!!" The next day I took her (in jeans and panties) to the mall. I sware we were in every bathroom in the mall! It seemed like every 15 minutes she told me she had to go, we would go and she wouldn't. Well, in the last store she had an accident on the way to the bathroom. Yup, she had to walk through the whole store in wet jeans (ewww). I of course had a change of clothes with me. She went to the bathroom, changed her pants, and never had an accident ever again. All my girls wore pull-ups to bed until they requested to wear panties to bed. Which once they get used to the comfort of underware doesn't take long. And when they request it you know they will try not to have any accidents! I have three girls and not one of them got out of pull-ups until they were three...and not one of them ever wet the bed, or had any accidents once they made the switch. Hang in there...it will all work (or come)out in the end!! :-)

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J.H.

answers from Erie on

I feel your pain. Our son was 4 and still not potty trained and showed no interest. We had tried all of the things you suggested, plus cheerios in the toilet. We tried buying toys, taking away toys. Nothing worked. Believe it or not, I watched Supernanny one night and she suggested a potty chart. When he filled it, he got a reward. Now, I'm not sure if that was what did it, or if it was the holy mother of all fits I threw the night before, but something worked. First I threw the fit, took every toy I could find and put them all away in the attic while he was in bed. The next morning he got up and was mad because the toys were gone. Then I introduced the chart that I made up. I drew lines for each day and he got to put a sticker on the chart every time he went potty. I explained that every time he went potty, he got to put up a sticker. I told him when the chart was filled we would go to Chucky Cheese. Every time he went, we all made a big deal. I am not kidding, since that day, he never had a problem again. He has probably had 3 accidents since January. But that's it. I started him out in pull ups over night, but after two nights of him waking up dry, I didn't use them any more. I see you did the sticker chart too, maybe you have to throw the fit and make the toys disappear over night. Like I said, something worked. We had taken away a few favorite toys before, but that didn't do the trick. Best of luck to you. Once he's trained, life gets a lot easier.

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