I am sure no one wants another potty training question, but I have looked and looked and just don't see my exact question addressed anywhere. I have a 2 1/2 year old boy who goes to daycare. He is perfectly potty trained at daycare meaning that he has not had any "accidents" for weeks (probably months), takes a nap without incident, and goes to the potty himself when he needs to (i.e., the ladies don't have to tell him to potty or remind him to potty, he goes on his own when he has the urge). The issue is that at home he refuses to use the potty. Last night we cleaned up 3 messes because he would not go to the potty. I have tried bribes and treats and those work every once in a while. He will say he does not have to go, will not sit on the potty if I bring him to it, but will then walk 3 feet and potty in his pants. We have always worn underwear as his daycare's preference is not to use pull ups. If I try to get him to wear a pull up at home (so we have less messes to clean up) he protests and insists on underwear. We don't make a big deal when he has an "accident' other than to say he can use the potty at home just like he does at school and can always tell mommy and daddy when he has to go. He just won't do that, though, and instead tee-tees in his pants. I don't want to be so pushy as to make him rebel even more, but I want to know if there are other things I can try. We did try using a timer early on and that worked a little bit, but no more. Before he was fully potty trained at school he would use the potty at home. He is good about using it in the morning when we are getting dressed, but after school when we are at home he just won't even sit down on it to try. Help!
Thank you everyone for their responses. The more I think about it the more I think it is about control because I know that he cna tell when he has to go and when he does not. I did talk to the ladies at his daycare and Friday they talked to him about going at home just like he goes at school. I am also going to have him start to clean up after himself. Today will be the first day we are home after school so we will see how it goes. I will keep everyone posted!
This is about control. I would not use bribes or give treats at all. I would simply make him clean up his own messes and act like it was nothing at all. Do not even mention it except to say he needs to clean the floor and himself so he will not smell. When you no longer react and he has to clean the floor, he will more than likely decide it is not worth the trouble.
Are the pottys DIFFERENT? At daycare do they have regular toilets but they're closer to the ground, and at your house you have a special different "little boy" seat? Maybe he prefers their type of toilet. Maybe you need to just get him a stool instead of a special seat attachment or special separate potty. That's my only thought. I have yet to potty train my boy. Ask the daycare their thoughts too. Perhaps they have some insight. Ask them what word they use (pee pee, tinkle, potty, urinate) or does he like to use the soap that the have afterwards, maybe it's "fun" ??
with the weather getting warmer, take a sunny day to do some yard play or work and allow him to run around w/o underpants. you can even make it fun like a back yard camping expirience and tell him he's going to go outside like he's really camping. I used this trick with my son and in a matter of a w/e he was potty trained and still is at age 22! ;'D'
It seems that no one thought of this: At school he is expected to be a "Big Boy". he Has to use the potty there because that's what Big Boys at school do. But, hey, he's only 2 1/2 years old. He's Not a big boy. Maybe he still wants the comfort of being the "baby" at home. None of us wants to grow up, right? Any one of us adults would like to be pampered and toput off responsibility. Especially after a long, hard day at work. We don't mind doing chores on our days off (like he Used to use the potty at home), but after work we want to relax.
Cut him a little slack. He's doing a Great job where it counts--out in the big world. He feels safe at home and that's where he can let go a bit (pardon the pun). Heck, you're lucky! My first boy didn't potty train until Much later. :)
I myself wouldn't bribe him with toys or treats or anything cause than he knows that when he does other things badly or that he isn.t suppose too he can get you too give him treats and stuff to get him too do it right.. I would try to make it fun for him put a fruit loop in the potty and have him try to hit it when he pee's.. Or let him use it outside for a lil while if you live where he can do that. I think that it is about attention.. At school he does good cause he wants to impress them but he may feel that he isn't getting enough attention at home no matter how much your giving too him. When he does go in the potty at home make a big deal about it do the potty dance and make it fun for him.. Good luck!!
He wants to be more independent. Don't bring him a potty, make yours easy for him to use "all by himself". Have a stepstool, potty ring or whatever is similar to the set-up at school. Do the ladies at school babysit? It may be worth hiring one to play with him for a few hours while you are home to reinforce training and allow you to observe their methods.
I would have him clean up his own messes. That will get old fast. Maybe taking away a privilege or favorite toy may be more effective than giving a reward. Also, try letting him go without underwear. Using the bathroom in his underwear might bother him but he may be less likely to make a mess directly on the floor. The best thing I ever did with my daughter (who was also 2 when she was potty-trained) was to let her go naked for awhile. 2 or 3 days of hanging around the house and she was completely potty trained. It would be different if he didn't understand the concept or was having trouble, but he has proved to you (by his behavior at daycare) that he understands and is fully able. It seems like more of a power struggle at home.
