Potty Training Help!! - Urbana,IL

Updated on October 31, 2009
K.F. asks from Urbana, IL
19 answers

I have a son who will be three in December and is still not potty trained. He has gone pee in the potty several times, but has never had a bowel movement in the potty. We have really tried to let him be the guide and not be forceful in this process, but it is getting to the point that we know he can and he just won't! I have tried sticker charts, marshmallows, etc. and it just doesn't motivate him at all. He is extremely verbal and will tell me that he will start using the potty, "soon, Mommy soon"! How do I know he is really ready? I don't want to be too demanding or forceful if he's not, but I don't want to let him be too controlling either. I should note that we just welcomed a baby into the family six months ago which slowed things up a bit for him. Thank you for ANY suggestions!!

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thanks so much everyone for your advice and words of wisdom! We backed off for awhile and then recently he was indicating more and more that he was ready by being uncomfortable in his pull-ups. So on New Year's Day we took the pull-ups away and put him in his "big boy" underpants. He had a couple of accidents and didn't like being wet. We set the timer for every thirty minutes and had him try whenever it went off. He was somewhat resistant at first but would go every time we put him on the potty. It's been five days now and he has had only a couple of accidents. We've even been out in public while only wearing his "big boys" and he is doing great! Something that has really helped him poop on the potty was making a cut-out of a truck and putting it on the refrigerator. Every time he poops on the potty he gets a letter to put on the truck. When he spells the word "truck" he gets to go and pick out this truck that he's been wanting for a very long time from the toy store. I expect we will have some setbacks but so far he is doing great and I am so proud of him. Again, thanks to all of you for your support and encouragement!

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

Y.H.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, My son was almost 3 as well and we had a similar problem. One of my co-workers at work had 3 boys and she told me to try the cherrios game. I asked her what was the cherrios game. She told me to take some cherrios and throw them in the toilet and tell my son to aim and shoot! I thought that was the funniest thing. I told my husband to take him to the bathroom and try it. IT WORKED!!
My son thought it was fun and he continued going to the potty with no problems. My son is now a teenager. Give it a try. (Mother of 2 married 24 years)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.B.

answers from Chicago on

Go to the resale store and buy him some new pants (for $1). Take the diaper off and put the pants on. Let him poop in his pants. Leave them on him for a while. Take them off and throw them out. He'll get the idea.

Happy parenting!

E.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.D.

answers from Chicago on

Please consider using 'The Official 3 Day Potty Training Method' by Lora Jensen.
We were tired of untested advice, half-measures and assurances that she would potty train herself 'when she is ready', but we were skeptical that we could just get rid of diapers.
We used the 3 Day Potty Training Method and it was amazing. She explains how to do it and why it works. It's positive and respectful and will get you out of the rut.
http://www.3daypottytraining.com/

It's a very simple plan overall, but every child is different, and she covers how to handle different situations and personalities.

I don't think a child will learn NOT to go in a diaper while he's still wearing them. If your son is saying 'Soon, mommy, soon', then he is more than ready.

2 moms found this helpful

T.B.

answers from Chicago on

I agree it's time to tell him there's no more diapers. I would also suggest better motivators for rewards. When my son turned 2, he was reliably going pee on the potty, but not poop. We knew he loved cars, so he got Matchbox cars for his poops. Right away he started trying to poop every time! We slowly weaned him off, and now only give him cars for big deals- like keeping his pants on (he used to always want them off), going on a big potty instead of his little potty, etc. Maybe there is something special you can offer your son that he will only get when he starts pooping on the potty. I agree, you don't want to push too hard, but you can find something that is exciting enough that he will poop for it. Maybe a new movie, or going to a special place he loves? Hang in there, it sounds like you are close!

Good luck,
T.
www.ReadandGrow.com

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.H.

answers from Chicago on

Just try telling him this is your last diaper. Take all the other ones away. Make sure the potty is easy to get to, even if you have to go out and get multiple ones. No pull ups. Since you are a stay at home mom you have the ablitity for him to go bare bottom or wear underpants. If he makes a mess have him help clean it up. You might need a waterproof cover for his bed until he has it 100%. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.K.

answers from Chicago on

SOunds like my daughter. First I stopped all training and waited a few months to restart. Then I really had to think about what would motivate her. My 1st just went with no real issues, so this was new to me. We tried everything!

She got gum in a goody bag at a party and that was it...she was hooked on gum. She first earned gum for going on the potty without fighting. Then she got gum for staying dry..one piece at lunch and one peice after dinner. and now she gets gum for staying dry and changing out of her pullup in the am and if it is dry and she goes right to the potty. So far so good!

Good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hi K.~
I had the same problem--my almost 3 year old went in the potty a couple of times, then it was always "soon mommy, soon". You didn't mention what he is wearing during the day--is he still in diapers, pull-ups or training underwear?
Once I switched my son to the training underwear, made of cotton, but thick to absorb pee with accidents, he began using the potty soon after. Most kids don't like being wet, yet this avoids big puddles on your floor.
I too tried using a sticker chart, but realized the goal was to abstract. I then made 10 circles on the chart, and drew a picture of him on the potty at the top, and a picture of McDonalds Playland (his reward) at the bottom. Whenever he used the potty, we would put a sticker in one of the circles. Being able to see how many circles were still needed to get McDonalds seemed to work very well for my son. Once he got a playland trip, I then just began giving him a couple chocolate chips whenever he'd use the potty, and after a couple of weeks, phased them out too.

As for pooping--for a while he would not use the potty, even though he was peeing in it. Finally, I just left him in only a shirt, and told him "don't poop on my floor" and the first time, he pulled a diaper out of the drawer, opened it up, and then pooped on it! and said "I didn't poop on your floor mommy" (sigh) After I made a big deal about how gross and stinky that was, and showed him how I flushed it anyways, the next day when I left him naked, he used the potty, and has been ever since.

Good luck, hang in there and it will happen. The new baby has got to factor into it, so maybe pointing out all the big boy stuff he does that the baby can't do will help get his mind thinking that he can do it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Chicago on

I'm starting early on PTing, so my son would get used to the idea of the potty before being verbal enough to say "potty time"... So yes, I started around 19 months.

I just made it a part of his bed time routine, we read Elmo potty & play a bit before getting in the tub. Whenever he goes potty, I give him tons of praise (but no treats nor stickers nor any other bribes).

Not stressing over it, and making it fun (like we clap when he passes gas on the toliet) has gotten him to poop on the toliet several times.

Like my mom said, if they get to giggle & clap over gas - once in a while they'll get a little some extra to come out.... May be an accident, but who cares if it gets the job done & helps them get over fears of pooping in the toliet.

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Chicago on

I would guess he will be ready soon and he knows it and it's appropriate to let him be the guide. Average age of potty training in US is 3 years, you're not behind. I do remember feeling helpless and frustrated when our daughter also made it clear she wasn't ready. We backed off, but everyonce in a while reminded her that when she was ready, she could wear her fancy underwear all day. At 39 months one day, out of the blue, she said "I'm ready" and we were done with day time diapers. I would think that if it becomes a battle, you run the risk of many more months of potty issues (like fear of pooping in a potty resulting in constipation).

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi K.,

We had the same issue with our son. He was trained with #1 at 3, but he refused to poop on the potty until he was 3 1/2. He just had in his mind that he was going to wait as long as he could (his response was always, "I'll poop on the potty when I'm EIGHT!"--awesome). I had a reward system set up and offered it to him every day. Each day he refused, until he was 3 1/2. Then, one day, he decided he was ready to work on his reward, and he hasn't looked back since! So, hang in there. It really does become a power struggle if we as parents push too hard. It's one thing your little guy really does have control over, so let him do the guiding, and he'll get there, I promise!

One thing my mom always said to me, "He won't be going to elementary school in diapers, so relax!" Really, great advice :).

Good luck!

T.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Chicago on

My son was the same way. He finally learned to go #1 shortly after he turned 3, but it took him a lot longer to go #2. He would hold it everyday and as soon as I put a pull up on him for bedtime, he would go. I was frustrated also, so I talked to my doctor, but she said not to worry too much until he was four. Her advice was that I could try not to put the pull up on, but it may lead to constipation issues if he wasn't ready yet. I never thought I'd see the day, but one day (two months before he turned 4) he went on the potty all by himself and went #2. I think sometimes we think they are ready, but really they aren't. My advice is not to push the issue and he will go when he is ready. Also, the average age for potty training is 3, so it sounds like you are even a little ahead of the game. Hope this helps!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.S.

answers from Chicago on

Put it on hold until after the holidays. Put him in pull-ups so he can go potty easily if he wants but just let it go for now. With my oldest we did not even talk about it until he was 3. Having 2 in diapers was expensive but easier. He trained in a few weeks and my friends that started earlier were still working at it when we were done. For now enjoy the holidays and deal with it in January when life is less stressful and he will be older and ready.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Chicago on

Potty training is definitely one of those areas that one size does NOT fit all! All of the "typical" ways did not work for my daughter. including rewards, sticker charts, etc.
What finally did work was this video. There is a girls' version that we had. It shows the kid going pee and poop in the potty. (animated movie) Apparently there is a book too. She literally brought her potty in front of the TV, pulled down her pants and sat down and did it. Then showed me how it was just like the girl in the video.
http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Movie-Boys-Henry/dp/076419359...

Good luck. This was SOOO hard for us. We also had a poop regression when number 2 was born too.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.D.

answers from Chicago on

My pediatrician told me not to really start potty training my son until he was 3. So I started training my oldest son (who is now almost 5) after his 3rd birthday, and it took him awhile. I knew he could do it, but he just didn't want to. I think they will do it when they are ready. Personally, I don't think Pull-ups are good for potty training, except for over night, because its just like putting a diaper on them. But on the upside, it will be sooo much easier training your younger son. My 2nd son watched his older brother and he pretty much did it on his own before he was 2! I really didn't have to train him! Good Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.E.

answers from Chicago on

Boys sometime take longer for some reason. But the one thing that can help is getting your husband involved. My husband talking to our son really helped. He wanted to be like dad. We got a potty seat that went on top of the toilet and it worked out great.
But the long and short of it is if he is not ready he is not ready..

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.R.

answers from Chicago on

Relax and let him take the lead. Don't mention the potty, don't look at it, don't talk about it. 3 1/2 is pretty normal for a boy to potty train, that's the average. My 3 1/2 year old boy just brought it up on his own one day and never went in his diaper again. It was no big deal.

He is not ready. Wait for him to give you the clues. Potty training is all about control. And this is one thing in his/your life that you have to give HIM the control over. He controls his body and you have to let him take the lead.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.D.

answers from Chicago on

Maybe he is telling the truth! "Soon Mommy".
1. He's a boy and 2. New baby.
I think some more time to just chill on the potty training and then some nice rewards when he is more ready. I'll bet he won't start school in diapers! My opinion is not to worry, he will be great...when HE is ready.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

I agree with the use of the matchbox cars as rewards. It's the only incentive that worked for one son. But, I have a twist. I took matchbox cars that he hadn't played with in a while and wrapped them in present paper. Everytime he pooed he got to unwrap a present. He loved it and it worked.

Good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with the ladies on here that said to simply take away the diapers. Sometimes a child is ready, they just don't want to, and it's simply easier to just go in the diaper than to stop and go to the bathroom. Since you do stay home, it is a bit easier because you can be consistent. There are no more diapers, he needs to go in the toilet. My son and I started the process when he was 26 months and it took a solid week to be fully trained. (and he wasn't very verbal.) Pull ups are just glorified diapers, and really do slow down the potty training process. Gerber makes great thick cotton underwear- I bought about 20 pairs of them and 3 pairs of cartoon undies, and I told him he could wear the cartoon ones when he remembered all the time to go use the potty. Sometimes if kids see that it is something the parents want them to do then they resist. If you make it something that just IS, like this is how things are now, then it changes their attitude about it too.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches