I'm training my 26 month old and have been reading up on all the expert advice out there (have been for over a year) remembering what worked for my oldest two, (how soon we forget) and talking to my mom, who raised 11 children. All of us kids were trained by 2 1/2, and as the oldest I do remember this as a fact with the last 5 or so of my siblings. Only one of her children had any potty training issues, he held his poop, but after a few enemas and laxatives per doctor advice he was fine. I am finding the experts and Mom agree, we parents need to expect the child to get trained and not waiver, and the child has to feel the wetness (or yuckiness) or they have no incentive not to pee or poop on themselves.
Stop using the pull-ups, seriously. They feel like diapers and children use them as such, they're really expensive diapers. (My grandson, 32 months, was recently trained in 4 days, day and night, and stopped wearing a diaper on night 4, Mom, a no-nonsense gal with Dad's support, didn't use pull-ups, just regular boy's underwear.) Have your daughter go potty before she puts her panties or cloth training pants on at night, (you can put waterproof panties over them)
http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/Waterproof-Pull-On-P...
and tell her that she''s not going to wear a pull-up to bed or keep getting up. (Yes, she's delaying going to bed, so you have two issues to deal with.) Go to the bathroom at the same time she does and be her example. You can use flannel backed rubber sheets under her bedding to protect her mattress if you like. The point is that when she wets she'll feel it, the pull-up won't whick the wetness away, and she'll have more incentive to get as much pee out as possible before bedtime and naps.
Night time bladder control is often the last part of training to be accomplished, so at 4-5 years there may be accidents during the night (not peeing every few minutes to get a change) even after successful daytime control is established, a reason you really want to get her to pee as much as she can can prior to bedtime, or learn to get up and go to the toilet on her own, or you'll be up all night.
http://www.education.com/reference/article/tiolet-trainin...
As a side note, I read something a couple of nights ago about how we parents these days have dragged out training our kids. At the beginning of the 1900's children were trained at one, 40 years ago we trained them around 18 months, then it went to 2 years, now it's 3 or so, all because we are waiting for them to give us cues as to when they can go. The article said that we don't ask them when they're ready to sit at the table with everyone to eat meals, or when they're ready to be strapped into a car seat, we do what's best for them and works for us. It also pointed out that in countries where diapers are not used or available children are still trained at one, so they are capable, regardless of all the "he or she will train when they're ready" 'expert' advice, which I admit, I've said myself. They article ended with telling parents we need to expect compliance from our toddlers to train, and be consistent, nipping problems as they arise before they get out of control.
My guy is peeing in the potty in the morning, 3 times so far, yay! I am working on establishing times to go with him, so in a couple of days we'll start after lunch/pre-nap potty time, and add one every 5 days or so until he's going first thing in the morning, after breakfast, and so on until he knows the schedule. I want him to be comfortable with going, guidance is the key. : )
