Potty Training Boys - Litchfield Park,AZ

ok, so I know you do not want to hear to leave him alone, so I wont say that, however, once my son started getting it and was doing great he started regressing. So, I kept at it but backed off a little bit until he showed interest again. He will be 3 in a few days and has been doing wonderful day and night-time. Once he showed the interest again, it was not a new learning experience, it was something he knew, so it was fairly easy. Honestly, even though it is SO frustrating, maybe just back down and see what he feels about doing it right now. Im sorry if this is not much help...

Time is the answer. My son wasn't fully potty trained until he was 3 1/2. I know it is hard to stay patient, but I believe that patience is the key. Just remember that it WILL happen.

First, try not to give him a choice about underwear vs. diaper. We made that mistake and my daughter reverted for about two months. I was done buying the diapers, so I just didn't buy anymore. We went straight to underwear. This is really my best suggestion as it worked for both of my children and the children in my daycare. I tried not to get upset about accidents, as this is all just a learning process and if they are humiliated and ashamed they will not progress. I would also suggest that the older child not say anything about your child's potty habits. Encourage her to encourage your son. It is possible that she has picked up on your frustration with his potty habits and is trying 'mother' him about it as well. I just had this happening in my in-home childcare. I just remained positive, but asked her to not say anything unless it was nice and I gave her suggestions on what to say. This made a huge difference. To end this long reply, also please realize that he might not be 100% ready. My daughter showed all of the signs of being ready at 18 months, but did not fully potty train until 2 years 8 months. My son was the same and potty trained the week before he turned three. So, try not to get too frustrated and maybe back off a little. But definitely try just going to underwear and try not to make the same mistake I did of 'borrowing' the babies diapers, as this is what set us back two months. Best wishes!

Hey A.,

I wasn't going to write, because you said you didn't want anyone to tell you to leave Shawn alone, but then I read the other responses, and I decided to write. I have an almost 4 year old little girl and a 22 mo. old little boy. My daughter just finally potty trained completely. I started trying to potty train her around 18 mos. because I read that that was a good age to start. For some kids it probably is. For my kid, it wasn't. We had our son and she regressed. My husband fought a year long battle with cancer and potty training went out the window. I tried everything-candy rewards, underwear buying, sticker charts, and I am telling you that she only potty trained fully when she wanted to and was ready to. I just gave up. I stopped being disappointed with her when she had an accident and instead told her "Hey, it happens sometimes" I'm not criticizing you for your frustration, but I would suggest to you that maybe you should align your expectations with his true capabilities. Maybe that will allay your feelings of frustration if you start to accept that maybe now is not the time for him to potty train in the complete way you feel he should. I always made a big deal when she did potty, but I didn't have the stamina to run her to the bathroom every 10 or 15 minutes. My husband's illness gave us bigger fish to fry, I guess. You can push the issue, but I bet he's gonna have more accidents, not less, because it is stressful to meet an expectation that maybe his body isn't quite ready for, and his young intellect can't understand that part. He only knows that he's letting you down. He will potty train-he will. Relax your expectations for the now to prepare him for success in the future. Good luck girl. If I told you how many times I told my daughter I was buying the last package of pull-ups before I actually did, you'd laugh....or cry. But she's a champ now-no accidents at all, even at night! Hang in there!

Al

My youngest daughter is soon to be five and was still having a lot of accidents until real recently. I had asked her pediatrician what I could do as she was constantly being sent home from school with a bag of peed on clothes and she would often yell at herself for messing in her clothes. He did abdominal palpatations and found that she had some blockage due to constipation. He said she probably wasn't drinking enough fluids and that her two favorite foods-cheese and peanut butter weren't helping. He suggested Myralax which is an over the counter stool softener and that I do the half dosage once a day until she was pooping at least once a day and the stools weren't hard and compacted. Since doing that I have been keeping a little notebook to make sure she is "going" once a day and the accidents have stopped.
Her pediatrician said that the blockage was putting pressure on the bladder and making it hard to hold her urine and it also made it hard to detect whether or not she actually had to poop or if it was just pressure.
I would recommend asking your pediatrician if this could be the case for your son, as he also said they could have blockages from previous constipation even if they aren't currently.

I had five boys and one girl. The boys were potty trained as they were ready. One of them at 18 months, most of the others by two years old. My daughter, however, had a mind of her own. When she hadn't potty trained by the time she was three, we started concentrating on it like you are. It did not help. She didn't mind sitting on the toilet because we read to her. She knew that she could get me to read to her/ spend time with her if she was on the potty. A few months later, we went camping for a week. I brought a pair of underpants, but mostly diapers for her. She walked up to me in the middle of that week and said, "Mommy, I want my big girl panties. I'm not going to need diapers anymore." And she didn't. No accidents. One of my boys had a hard time training and had accidents and felt bad about it. I, personally, think he was in a stressful situation, which shows itself in potty training a lot. He said a prayer (we believe in God) and was immediately better. Now, in your case, especially with that 4-year-old at your home, that could cause a major setback. I think that if you are more casual about it, and tell him that whenever he is ready, he can wear big boy shorts instead of diapers, that he will tell you when he is ready. I think that he was ready before, but that child made it stressful for him. Rather than punish that child, though, I would make it a "no big deal" issue. That child should be told that he will decide to be potty trained when he is ready, and that no one should laugh at him until he makes that decision. Good luck!

I know how frustrated you are. I really wanted my oldest one to be out of diapers before the next baby came along. I tried to potty train him at around 2 and a half years. He seemed interested and went in the potty for a couple of weeks but then lost interest in it. I tried buying him the special underwear and a potty chair and a potty seat but nothing worked. I even tried the cheerios in the toilet as targets and a sticker chart. I finally gave up since the baby was coming soon and I did not want to finally have success only to have him revert because of the baby.
My son turned 3 and the baby was born two weeks later and so I had two in diapers! Then about two months later when my mom came to visit for Christmas, she told my oldest that we would have to give his Lightning McQueen underwear to his baby brother because he was getting too big and it wouldn't fit anymore. Well, that did it! He was not about to share his underwear with this new kid. That day he went through the 3 pair that I had and so we went to Target and bought more. He had one more accident the next day and then not another one since. He is now 4 and a half. I truly believe that when they are ready it will just happen and all the pushing can delay them that much more. Every kid is different but I hope this helps! Good luck!

I understand completly what you are going through. My son is going to be three on APril 16th and we had a hard time going also. I finally gave up and said that if he wanted to go on the potty he will. You really can't rush things like this because it can actually push them away. Your son just has to be ready. Do not give the option of diapers anymore. Only big boy pants, except at night it takes a little longer for them to get the hang of the night thing. Everytime you and your husband go to the bathroom take him with you. Sit him down on his potty while you go and show him that this is what big boys do. MAke being a big boy a good thing. We did a Big BOy Board with my son. Get a big poster board and some stickers. Everytime he goes give him a sticker to put on his big boy board. If you find that you are getting frustrated with him walk away. Stay positive. If he has an accident don't yell at him just tell him good try and lets get there a little faster next time. Positive reenforcement is the way to go. I am sure that things will go better. He just may not be ready. Good Luck!

M.

Hi, my name is Wendi. I was the "potty trainer" in the day care I use to work at. The biggest thing that they would try to instill in me is to remind my self that it has to be their accomplishment. I had a similar situation with my son, I had to keep reminding myself of that, and finally, at four he decided that he was done with diapers. I noticed with my boy that when I only made a deal about it when he did go on the potty and blew it off when he wasnt interested was when he decided to not be so stubborn about it. Potty training can be so overwhelming. Good luck!

I have a 3 year old that is potty trained finally. What I did to encourage it would be to take him shopping for underwear and make it a big thing. I also got upset when training him but I noticed when I did he would not want to do it. I started making it so that when I noticed him going pee or poop I would make a big deal about it and how he would be such a big boy like daddy if he went in the toilet. Do you ever have him go in the bathroom to watch daddy go to the bathroom? That helped my son realize how neat it is. Another suggestion would be to talk to him about how gross it feels when he goes in his pants or diaper and also show him how many diapers are left and tell him that there are no more that you can get for him, he is to big for diapers and underwear is all that there is from here on out. One last thing is see if he does better with boxers. My nephew felt that regular underwear was like a diaper and once he started wearing boxers he had no more problems.

I am also a daycare provider, and potty training a 2yr old. What I try to do is ask him every 20 min, I have cut down on his liquids and I put a diaper on him just at nap time. I prasie him everytime he sits on the toilet, and when I put him on I make sure he is sitting backwards facing the wall so he is able to aim better plus he can hold on to sometime(the toilet lid) this has worked with my children when I was potty training them. I hope this helps alittle.
good luck!!
C.

Hi A.!
Sounds like you have great goals in store for your son and family!
I also do home childcare (10 years running) and have 5 children ~ with our 6th on the way (EDD 5/08).
I would love to share with you the how we have handled our own children as well as the children in care successfully.
It has a lot to do with putting the child in charge. All of our potty-training successes have been done in 2 weeks or less.
Email me at my personal email address so I can give you my phone # for you to call.
Here it is: ____@____.com
Looking forward to talking to you.
~D.

keep the faith.

My daughter has had numerous set backs as well. We were doing well, then peeing all over the house and now we've had a week with no accidents. I am delighted. She started expressing an interest in potty training, right after her brother was born, he'll be 1 in 3 weeks. It has been a long road.

Hello to You & your Hubby!
Well potty training is an experience in itself, but when all else failed. I am a bit shy to put this on line, but my boys if all failed the Dad made a game of it.
When their Dad was home he went with them and they called it star war's crossing streams. Or we say, "Oh look at that little birdie peeking at you, pee in its eye!" Well they thought it was funny, so it worked for me when Dad wasn't home, or if Dad wasn't armed, the birdie deal worked for him to.
After awhile they became comfortable enough to go pick on the birdie themselves. They come back running I got the birdie in the eye and laugh.
May sound silly, but it worked, maybe fish be better, but we weren’t thinking about that at the time.
My oldest, if he didn’t want to go somewhere he’d soil his clothes, but one time I went to my husbands job place and made him stand beside me anyway & that cured that. He’d wait till we were there, so I had to show him, who was the parent and in control at 3 yr’s old.
Hope this helps, but I would not waited for the other child to become old enough to potty train, he could had helped you with younger boys and be the big brother.
Good luck, finding fun things to teach even if silly, it helps. LOL!

Don't give him the choice about diaper/underwear. Take him to the store and let him choose his own big boy underwear--hopefully one that he is really excited about. Then tell him that if he stays dry, he can wear his "Lightning McQueen underwear". That, in combination with a potty watch, worked well for my son. Give the potty watch another try. Set it for every hour...more of a reminder to have you remind him...don't let him skip even one time. Good luck!

I don't know who told you to not potty train your son until after the other one was born. I've always known that potty training happens when they are ready, regardless of what's going on around them. And there are many reasons why they would have set-backs and have accidents again. But I would say, go ahead and potty train, if he is ashamed, that's even a better incentive. Don't stop unless he wants to stop. My son was pretty much potty trained except at night, and for a couple of weeks he has had accidents all the time and it drives me crazy too. All for no apparent reason. But keep on it, he will eventually get it.
Good luck.

Hi,
My husband and I tried everything to potty train our first son,age 4! Bribing, rewards, dancing, singing and yes, yelling. We were at our wits end.
Finally, we went and saw the Child Developmentalist in our Doctor's office.
Her advice: Tell your son, NEVER MIND. Yeah, I couldn't believe it either. We told him that we realized that he wasn't ready to go on the big boy potty and that IT WAS OK. We would go back to trying when he was ready. Forget all about going on the big boy potty!
That same day, I was looking for our son, he was in the bathroom going pee on the big boy potty and he never looked back! He never had and night time accident either!
Hope that helps!

A.,

I don't have boys, but everyone else I know does. They all have had the same experience when it comes to potty training. One of my cousins had tried eveything, and nothing she tried worked. Grammy was watching him for about a week and had to put her foot down with "no negotiation you are going potty." He was just a stuborn child I guess cause that was the only thing that worked. My sister used stickers with a chart. She gave him a star every time he potty and at the end of the week if his chart was full of stars they got to got to the zoo. He loved animals so that worked for him.

I understand that you are doing childcare out of your home. Are you still taking children and if so where are you located? My liitle girl is six months. I look forward to hearing form you. Hopefully you can conquer the potty training!

I hear ya sister. I am the Mother of Three boys, my oldest, 6 yrs, still wets the bed at night and my 3 yr old is the process of potty train as we speak. From my experience I have noticed that my boys digress right before a huge mile stone is made. My 3 yr old is hot and cold with the potty, and I am experiencing the same fustrations. I am finding that making him clean up his messes is helping, including washing of the soiled clothing. Try that and see if he responses to it postively. I know it is really hard not to yell, but over here it makes things worse, not to say that it doesn't happen. I lose my temper easily when he pees in a corner, but I am tring to be better and the repose is postive thus far. And I still use candy as a reward, just keep at it, it will come. It took my oldest one year to get it, I hope you have better luck but don't give up.

A little about me:

I am a Mom with three boys (6, 3, and 3 months)and happily married to a great man for 8 years. I currently stay home and am tring to get into graduate school as well.

I had this same idea that I needed to potty trian my son befroe his august birthday so he coudl go to preschool, so it wouldn't be so hard with the baby and the big one in diapers. We tried to push it and it was a year long nightmare with all kinds of regreats, like yelling at my poor tiny kid over something he was trying so hard to make me happy with. With my second son, I just figured he would use the ptty when he was ready, and when he was almost four, he just did it. No fuss, no stress. He was jsut suddenly potty trained and has never had an accident. It may sound completely insane, and I know it woudl have to me at the time, but if I coudl go back, I would have let go of all the pressure and just found a preschool where they don't care if the child is potty trained at 3. I have talked to three child psycologist and they all say it is very hard for a boy to be potty trianed by 3. Please, take the pressure off that little one and just follow his cues. All they really want is to figure out how they are supposed to act and they really want ot make you happy. Especially, resolve to never, ever yell about accidents, just say "Its OK honey, Mommy is here to help you clean up. You are learning and sometimes it takes a few tries." Beleive me, the yelling is the thing that will haunt you years from now. Listen to your own heart and don't listen to anyone trying to tell you how soon your kids should be doing anything. you only have one chance to give them a happy childhood and it will be over in a blink (even though it doesn't seem like that now). Just let him be the little 2 year old he really is, and gie yourself a big huge break. You are taking on a lot, so tell yourself you are doing a good job and take a big breath. Good Luck A..

Stop fighting with him, put the diapers back on and wait till he's ready. It makes it harder to train them if your forcing them before they are ready. I learned that the hard way. (mother of 4 , no more diapers.)

My son just turned three and has used the potty off and on since he was 2, never consistent though and never poop. I found that the stickers were motivating for pee but just not cutting it for poop. There are a lot of questions on here about potty training and a few months back a mom wrote about how she did a prize bag, and when her child went to the bathroom, he got a prize. So, I went out and got little dollar toys, cars, etc...and put them in a bag. I showed my son the bag and told him that if he pooped on the potty he would get to pick a prize. This was a motivator, he pooped the next day, and has not had an accident in a couple weeks now. I have to add though, that I think he was ready. He just needed to poop once. I don't think until now, that he was ready. Once he pooped, he decided that he wanted underwear. He even wears his underwear to bed over his pullup these days.
I refilled the bag once at the dollar store, then told him that when the prizes were gone that was it, and he still goes to the potty now...

Hi A.,

It is great to get them out of diapers, however, you may be a little early in your expectation. I understand about buying all the diapers, but at his age he shouldn't be going through very many in a day and it is a lot to expect him to just be ready to accomodate you. Sorry to be hard on you but being frustrated with him is really unfair to the poor little guy, my gosh he is just 2! In general boys potty train closer to 3 years old (usually by 3 or AFTER) some are early but not many. I have 3 boys and also speak from experience of having been a leader of a large play group with mostly little boys. We started when our oldest boys were 2. Out of all the boys only 1 trained early (15 boys) My son's all got the pee thing just before their 3rd birthdays and my first son held out til after he was 3 to poop on the potty (a whole other story!) Give him some time, potty training can go really quick when they are ready. I would say as summer starts would be a great time for you to start up again if he hasn't already started going on his own! Good luck, take a deep breath, you don't need the extra stress so let go for a little while longer :-)