Potty Training and Pooping

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I'm concerned that, at this point, he is already extremely constipated. What happens is that the colon keeps removing the water from the stool, and it gets extremely hard.

He may have a very hard time pooping at this point, too. I would actually call his doctor and ask for suggestions on how to handle the probability of constipation... he is probably rather "backed up" which may cause pain when he finally does go.. which may give problems, by him remembering that it hurt to poop, so he will keep retaining it.....

Here's more information on this...

http://www.octopusmom.com/Potty_Training.html

Let him poop, even if it is in a diaper.
Pooping in a toilet, is often the last stage, of pottying.
Your son has not been pottying very long.
Each kid is different.

With my daughter we had to see a Pediatric Gasteroenterologist.
Because, just the 'idea' of pooping in a potty, gave her STRESS and ANXIETY.
Therefore, she STOPPED pooping. Held it in. This causes, medical problems, constipation and in some cases "Encopresis." And holding in poop, causes pain and internal blockage.
The Specialist said ALL day he sees kids like this. The kid is simply NOT ready to poop in a toilet, nor potty mastered yet.
He said, just let the child poop in a diaper. Unless you want medical problems or to exacerbate their bulging internal organs and them getting constipated etc.
WHEN a child is 'ready', they will.
We did not force our daughter, but emotionally, she was just not ready. She got emotion based stress and anxiety from it all and the process.

So, each kid is different. Just because his brother is, does not mean he will or has to.

Boys, often potty later. Especially with pooping.

I might add: that a child does NOT become "confused" about what a diaper is or what underwear is for. My kids, have NEVER gotten confused and my son wears diapers for sleeping still. He is 4 years old. He KNOWS it is because his body is not ready yet. I explain to him. He understands. He KNOWS that daytime he goes to the toilet.
NO biggie.
My daughter never got "confused" either.

When kids just aren't ready to connect the dots between urges and 'outcome,' anxiety and tension, withholding, constipation and even encopresis (google this) can become unwelcome results. Then training REALLY gets complicated. Kids are all SO different; some will even poop before they pee on the potty. But for a far larger percent, pooping comes later. (Also, just believing that you compare him to his more successfully-trained twin can be a discouraging influence.)

I disagree, based on having heard dozens of stories from actual moms, with the pediatrician that warned about regression if the child is allowed to use a diaper for pooping. It does NOT appear to confuse a child to use a diaper for this one function, if that's what relaxes him enough to actually do it, and stay healthy and comfortable.

I would just do it, and when he becomes more relaxed about the process, try again. I've read that some moms have successfully begun by cutting a hole in a diaper and having the poop-resistant child sit on the potty.

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Give him back the diaper/pull up for now and make sure he isn't constipated. My 2.5 year old is very prone to constipation and needs benefiber daily. We also had some luck with Pedialax. When he is back on track and not constipated then consider strategies for pooping in the potty. It's not worth a long term struggle if he isn't ready right now.

I would say he's constipated. We have to regularly use Miralax for my son as he gets constipated and gets backed up - to the point we took him to the pediatrician and he could feel lumps in my sons stomach. He had started pooping in his underwear but while standing up and grunting - beads of sweat on his forehead. Got to a point he'd poop and not even know. He was diagnosed encoprisis. He had pretty much lost feeling in his colon as it had stretched out. He's been using Miralax for a few months and now regularly going but we can't even miss a day of the Mirilax as he'll start pooping rocks again!

I would probably put a pull-up on him, but I have no idea if that is the right answer or not. If there is a certain time of day that he usually poops, then maybe you could just put the pull-up on at that time. My three year old had a hard time with pooping in the potty too and I have heard that is fairly common. Since my son has been trained, he has not had any peeing accidents, just pooping accidents. I guess maybe it is more intimidating for them? I don't know.

Good luck!

I feel like you just posted my life with my twin boys about 3 years ago. My twins will be 6 next month, but I tried to potty train them about a month after their third birthday. One twin (Baby A), was potty trained in about a day. No issues at all. My other son... sigh... it was a nightmare. He couldn't get the hang of it, espcially with pooping... So, rather than struggle with it, I stopped training and waited until the next vacation time to try again. Of course, the next vacation we were home wasn't until February, so at that point he was about 3 1/2. He still didn't want to use the potty. Finally, he said to me: "Mommy, if I wear big boy underwear, will I still be your baby?" It was like a lightbulb went off. He just didn't want to be a big boy (we kept saying "don't you want to wear big boy underwear??") He just wanted to be my baby!! So I reassured him that he'd always be my baby even when he was 50 years old!!! And guess what.... he was potty trained that afternoon.

So, maybe try to reassure him that he'll always be your baby. (Especially if he's Baby B, b/c he might consider himself the "baby" of the twins, which mine did).

Also, I will tell you that that same twin had some constipation issues over the next year or two. I gave him Miralax with Propel water (or you could use juice) and that helped. If they get constipated and it hurts to poop, then they get scared of pooping, which makes them more constipated and becomes a viscious cycle.

Good luck!