Potty Training and Confused

First start with you both going at the same time, she will see that you sit on the big potty. Run the faucet in the sink sometimes this gets things going. Just keep it up when she does go make a very big deal of it and clap and act like it is the best thing in the world. This will please her and she may keep it up. Good luck.

Here is a website... it's basically how I went about training my 18 month old.. and it works... I HIGHLY recommend using cotton underwear... they have these great THICK ones at Wal-Mart and I just saw them at HEB Plus. My daughter learned very quickly using them. At night, I would use a pull up... because it was too hard to monitor her at night.. but it has worked great!

Here is the link:
http://www.montessorimom.com/montessori-potty-training/

I would wait to potty train if I were you. If she's not interested, it's going to be so much harder on you. You're going to be chasing her a lot to get her to go potty and you're pregnant! Wait until the new baby is here and in a routine but still sleeping a lot and then try to potty train. My daughter loved the Elmo potty training DVD. That helped us a lot.

It sounds like you got a lot of the same answers...you can't potty train a child! You can sometimes potty train yourself, but not a child. They will not do it unless they are ready and it has to be pretty much on their terms. Here is the deal with the potty-training time-frame...typically at about 18 months there is a period of time when a child may start to show curiosity about the potty. This window is typically short (I don't know if yours has passed for you or is coming soon). If you don't respond to this curiosity in a consistent manner (dropping everything to take her potty every time she says she has to even if it has only been 5 minutes since the last time and sitting with her for 15-20 unproductive minutes on the toilet) if you don't do these things, you will miss the window. If you miss the window, you are relegated to be an observer until 3 or so, when they will decide for themselves to become trained.

When my first child hit the window, I attacked it. She was good becaue she would pee in the bathtub every time the water would run. As soon as I realized this, I would run the water, put her feet in and then pick her up and put her on the potty. I would praise the heck out of her and tell her "good job going potty!" I said this so she would get the connection that what she was doing was actually "going potty" so she would have a feeling to connect to the words (very important concept, could you imagine if someone sat you in a cockpit and told you to fly the plane! I kind of think that is how kids feel because they don't know what exactly "go potty" means). OK, enough with the dumb analogies...my daughter also hated to be wet. There were a few days that we put big girl panties on her (blues clues were her favorite so we got those) and I told her not to tinkle on Blue puppy. She did a few times, but then she would get upset. It only took a few days and then she would run to the bathroom and call for me. (I went through a lot of Resolve carpet cleaner those few days). I also gave her M&Ms or mini marshmallows when she would go in the potty. She was trained by her second birthday.

I missed the window with my second daughter. She didn't get trained until 3 1/2 despite my constantly working with her.

I caught that window with my son thank goodness, but we were in the middle of moving and he regressed a little, but was trained by 2 1/2.

I hope some of this information will be helpful for you. Oh, I just re-read that you are working full-time, so it will be very difficult to get her trained unless whoever is watching her during the day is as dilligent at the training as you. You may be able to use it to your advantage though if you tell her to, "show your teacher how you go potty like a big girl."

Good luck with your endeavors! Oh, and consider getting someone in to help you clean your house once a week and take some of the pressure off yourself...you think it is tough to juggle responsibilities with one child, a house and a job...two is twice the challenge, but we are all here for you!

Hi E.!\
I got pregnant and did the same with my son. I think I started him at about the same time as you are doing, maybe even a month sooner. At first he did not show interest in the potty.. but the girls that are telling you to praise, are right on the money. I would get super excited for him and make a huge deal out of it. I would sit him on the potty first thing in the morning and run the faucet (for some reason that always helps). I took him with me whenever I went and we would both sit at the same time.
Anyhow... he was potty trained before his second birthday!
AND he did not even like using the little potty. It was great practice, but when he was actually ready to go, he wanted to sit on the big potty. Kids imitate real life. He would always see me on it, so he knew that was the place to go. LOL.
Just keep in mind that you have to be patient and get use to making ALOT of bathroom breaks. ESPECIALLY during playtime. I found that that was when my little one had the most accidents... he would be having so much fun that he would 'forget' until it was too late.
Just make sure you keep trying and be patient. If you start taking her to the bathroom then make it a habit to always take her. I think if she see's you going, then she will want to be like mommmy.
GOOD LUCK

If she is not interested, then there is no need to try. 19 months is VERY young.. You may know a few children who are or were trained at that age, but the body needs to be physically ready, she may not have even developed the proper muscles and the the proper nerves may not even be formed yet.. My son is 3 1/2 and not trained.. Can she even dress herself without any help at all? You will just frustrate yourself and she will resent it all if she feels pressured.. She is still very young. J.

Just try your best and she will do it. It may be hard at first but if you hang in there you and she will get it. For everyone else my mother had all of her children trained at 1 year old and I turned out just fine. I have no low self esteem and niether does anyone else in my family. The way I see it you are the parent not your child.

Looks like you got a lot of advice, but here is my two cents worth.

1. Children must be ready - and each child is ready at her own pace. 19 months is a little early for most, but if your daughter is ready then you can try. "Ready" means that she is interested in what you do in the bathroom (follows you in and wants to watch), that she tells you when she is wet or dirty, that she has nights where she wakes up completely dry and that she likes to or has an interest in sitting on the potty. If she hasn't shown any of these signs, then you might be pushing things. You may end up in a battle of wills that she will win if she is not "ready".

2. If she is showing signs of being ready, then you can start by simply sitting her on the potty at certain times of the day (like when she wakes up or just after she has wet a diaper.) It is easier if she has a regular wetting schedule. Make it fun and let her play with a toy or read a book. Help her to associate the potty with wetting her diaper.

3. Eventually, she will start asking to go to the potty - sometimes before she has wet the diaper and sometimes after. Take her when she asks. When she is successful in urinating on the potty, then praise her and make sure it is fun. My daughter always loved flushing the toilet, so this was her "reward'. We never used candy or stickers or anything like that.

4. Once she is urinating in the potty relatively consistently, you will need to take a weekend where you can be home and let her start wearing underwear. Make a big deal the week before about buying big girl underwear and let her help pick some out. The trick here is that she (and you) must be ready because once you put the underwear on her there is no going back. So you both must be prepared for this change. She can still wear diapers at night for a little while (my daughter wore diapers for about two weeks after starting the underwear and then we started putting her in underwear all the time because she was waking up dry.) Also, keep in mind that having a bm on the potty will take longer, so she is likely to have some bm accidents in her underwear.

The MOST important thing in all of this is to make sure that your daughter is ready. If she is not then you are fighting an uphill battle - and you will NOT win. You can't make a child use the potty and if you try, you will both be miserable and you may even end up delaying her naturally potty training interest. So don't force it! Even if you are able to get her to start using the potty, you will need to bear in mind that the arrival of the new baby is likely to result in set backs and accidents. If she is not showing interest now, then I would wait until after the baby comes. There is no harm in keeping kids in diapers longer, but there may be a harm in forcing them into potty training too soon.

Good luck!

-N.

Unfortunately there is no set age for optimal potty training. It is definitely not too early to introduce the idea, but don't be disappointed if she is not potty trained by the time your new baby comes along.

Babies need to be physically and emotionally ready to potty train. Introducing the idea, watching for the signs and praising her is about all you can do right now.

Here are a few sites with some info on the ready signs. Once she is ready then you can start with the training pants and/or underwear. (Pull ups worked great for us until my son was ready to transition to big boy underwear.)

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/pottytraining/l/bl_potty_r...

http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/parenting_tips/potty_train...

http://children.webmd.com/tc/toilet-training-topic-overview

E.,

It is way too early to potty train her! She probably won't even know she has to go until she's 2 or 3. Whoever is keeping her while you work can probably confirm that. Unless she comes to you and says I need to go, she doesn't get it yet and that is perfectly normal. Get your mind set on changing two sets of diapers for a while. If you want to see a cute potty training book, for whenever she's ready, check out cindystoybox.com and look for "THe Potty Train". Good luck with number two. It definitely is double the work, but be thankful they're close together.

Peace,
C.

It's not going to work b/c I don't think she is ready. Plus with the new baby she might "regress" a little so I would suggest trying after the baby. That's just me. Don't rush these things. Children have a way to make it harder if they aren't ready. I too had my girls close to each other. I waited until my DD was 2 1/2 to potty train and she did wonderful. GL and congrats on the new baby....

I know that some of you will think this is pushing the envelope a bit early but it worked fine for many generations in our family. My grandmother showed me how to potty train my kids with no terror or muss and fuss. When we (as babies) were able to hold our heads steady on our necks (not flopping like a newborn) is when she started our p/t regimen. As soon as our eyes were open first thing in the morning, she would carry us to the bathroom, remove our diaper and hold us on the potty. As soon as fresh air hits the skin, we would automatically urinate and/or defecate (yes, I am trying to keep this politely worded). After that, she would faithfully every 30 - 45 minutes or so take us back in there, remove diaper, hold baby, clean, re-diaper (we had cloth diapers, as did my own children - disposables was for non-home situations). When we were crawling, she increased the time interval a few minutes, then again at walking she increased the time interval again. I am not trying to imply that we didn't dirty our diapers - we are human, it happens. But it DID reduce the number of diapers we used. All of us were potty trained by the time we were 18 months old and none of us ever resisted or panicked at the loud potty noise because it is a routine we were so familiar with. I firmly believe that because we incorporated it into their daily routine, they were not distressed about learning to go potty.

I feel that when parents "wait until the child is ready" or "starts showing interest" that they have already waited too long (and frankly think they are lazy). By the time Johnny or Ashley is two or three years old, they should already be telling you "I need to go" or be showing you behavior that they need to go to the restroom. In this day and age where we are no longer able to afford to be SAHMs, the nurseries and day cares and pre-k schools and head start programs have enough to deal with without having to help potty train your child too.

Congratulations on the new baby coming! I had 2 daughters, and they were 18 months apart. I feel like your daughter might be too young to successfully potty train. If you potty train her too soon, you'll have to do scheduled times. In other words, every 2-3 hours you'll have to sit her on the potty until she goes. This could take a really long time, and it will be more frustrating for you than changing 2 sets of diapers. I think for it to be easy to potty train, the later is easier. Both my daughters potty trained at 2.5 years old and I told them to go in the potty, they did from then on, and we threw the diapers away that day. If you do it now, it will be forceful, tears (from both of you) and many accidents, which is way harder to deal with than chaging diapers. When the baby comes, you'll see that it's not that big of a deal to change diapers for 2 kids, and you really only have a few months to wait until the older one is totally ready, therefore making it totally easy. I wish you the best, I know how you feel, but this is ultimatley the easiest way. I sense you are getting nervous about how you are going to care for 2 babies. This is very stressful and I know how you feel. Just relax, the things you are worried about will not be as bad as you thought. It will be very difficult at times over the next year or year and a half, but then it gets a lot easier and a lot more fun. They will be close in age, which is really fun and they will play together all the time. Just get through the hard part and remember it is just a short period of time and all worth it in the end. Don't be mad at yourself if you feel like it's not always that fun, because it isn't. Once the new baby sits up and crawls and stuff, it gets so much better. Hang in there, this is a stressful time that I promise you'll be so glad you went through when you have 2 kids so close in age! Good luck!
On the hard days, just remember how quickly it will go by and you'll get through it.

If she's waking up dry, then put her on the toilet right after waking up in the morning and nap time. Most need to go right after waking up. Get really excited if she goes. Sit her on the toilet about 20-30 minutes after drinking a glass of juice or water. Praise! If you see her squatting to poop in her diaper, rush her to the toilet. Slide what mess is there off very carefully (her standing with legs slightly apart and stepping out of it). Then, sit her on the toilet to "finish" or be cleaned up. Praise! She'll get the hang of it. She truly won't be fully potty trained until closer to age 3, but if you're diligent about making it habit to go, then you will have a lot less diapers or accidents. I had my son going by a timer every hour. I didn't ask if he needed to go. I just made it a part of his routine. He eventually began to hear the timer himself, and take himself to the potty. It was great. If she's not waking up dry, she's really not ready. But, you can still do these things to instill the habit. Don't pressure her or scold her or show disappointment in any way at this stage. She's really not old enough yet. I started my 1st two this early too. It was quite frustrating when I had too high of expectations. I waited with my 3rd. He was the easiest, but diapers/pull ups weren't cheap. You will have stress either way. You just choose what stress you want. Having a newborn and running your little one around to the bathroom all the time can be stressful too .

I would start setting her on the potty and telling her "lets go potty" and making a ssssssss sound. You can also get a potty chair and go at the same time so she knows what you are doing. Offer it too her no matter what like before and after nap, when waking from nighttime, before bed, before and after bath, etc..... she will start getting the idea. I started part time potty training my 6 month old and she is about 80% potty trained at 14 months old. I got her a baby bjorn potty chair and its a perfect size for her. Good luck!!!

My advice is not to worry too much about it if your daughter doesn't seem particularly interested (especially since she would likely regress anyway after baby sister is born). Potty training is really easy if the child is ready, and you'll just be adding unnecessary stress to your life if you are determined to do it when the child is not.
If the potty training doesn't work out, I just want to reassure you that it's really not so bad having two in diapers (other than the expense). My 1st (who finally potty trained just after turning 3) was still in diapers when my 2nd was born, but my 2nd (who potty trained at not quite 2 1/2) was potty trained when my 3rd was born, and let me tell you that there were not a few times I had wished she were still in diapers. She still wanted help on the potty, which meant interrupting many feedings among other things. And then there's the "alone with the kids in [pick a place]" scenario where you have to take baby and bags and everything else to get the older kid to the potty before an accident happens, not to mention the wait in the bathroom if she has to poop, or trying to breastfeed while waiting for a child to finish pooping, or just sitting down to breastfeed when the older child announces urgently that she has to go to potty...you probably get the idea. :)

I started by daughter by just sitiing her on it with close then when I went to potty I would take her and take her pull up down. Then I made a point to show her if there was anything there and told her next time. Once she learned that she picked up quick and went then I would jump and appraise her and clap. Say you did it. Great job. She would be so excited. She learned so quick. I even appraise her with a treat like gummy bear.

When my daughter was about your daughter's age, I began trying to potty train her. Like you, I wasn't having much success. Then I found a little book at the drugstore called Ella the Elephant. Like my little girl, Ella had a brand new potty chair. Like my little girl, Ella also had some pretty new panties that she would be allowed to wear after becoming potty trained. The story talks about how Ella learns to use the potty, becomes a big girl, and gets to wear pretty panties. My daughter loved the story and wanted me to read it over and over. As I read it, I asked her if she had a potty, pretty panties, etc. Then I asked her if she wanted to be like Ella and use the potty. She did, and after that she was mostly potty trained. It took a while to get her trained for both pee and poo and even longer to get past the night time diaper. Just be patient.
Hope this helps. L. - mother of 2 grown children.

The best advice I can give is just to wait and be patient. You will see signs when she is ready. At this young age if you force her before she is ready it will likely take longer. She could also regress after the baby is born.

19 months is a little young yet. Besides, it can't be done in a two month period of time. Who keeps her while you are at work? You and that person need to work out a plan together.

E.,
Please don't rush your little girl before she's ready to be potty trained. Unfortunately, this is one phase of growing up that the children must let the parents know when they are ready and not the other way around. She will let you know when she is ready by expressing more and more interest in the bathroom. You can certainly include her when you go to the restroom (let her see how it's done, etc.). I would wait until she's at least two years old before even talking to her about it. Always keep it in a positive light. If you don't force and have a positive attitude about it with her, she will be more apt to want to explore this part of her learning more readily.

-Jen
Mother of toddler who was not ready for potty training until he turned 3.

All I can say is that I tried the same thing with my daughter who was almost 2 1/2 when my son was born and it really isn't worth the fight if they aren't ready. If you're still fighting with her to get to the potty when you're trying to nurse a newborn, it is so much more frustrating than just changing a diaper. My daughter is potty trained now, but we let her decide when she was ready to wear her panties. We bought them and had them in the house and she found them in her drawer one day when my son was about 6 weeks old and she asked to wear them. I let her, however, she didn't want to poop in the potty and was having lots of "accidents" in her underwear (they weren't really accidents since she knew she had to go and knew how, but just wouldn't). Believe me, this is MUCH more of a nightmare with a baby than changing diapers.

19 months old sounds a little young and if she isn't showing any signs of wanting to potty or being ready in any other sense, then you are setting yourself up for lots of frustration and I just wouldn't recommend it. Leave the potty out, sit her on it at bathtime maybe to get her used to it, but I wouldn't expect much at this age. Best of luck to you!

Hi E.,
I was in a similar situation with my oldest daughter. She turned 2 in December '98, I was expecting our 2nd daughter July '99 and my oldest would NOT potty train! She started acting interested at about 18 months, I got really excited and started pushing it as I, like you, didn't want to have 2 in diapers. It seemed the harder I pushed, the less interested she became. Finally, when I was about a month away from my due date, I gave up and accepted the fact that I would be changing diapers for 2. I was able to relax at that point and just stopped worrying about it. (I also had to stop listening to all the people in my life who said 'You need to get that girl potty-trained!') Baby #2 was born, and one night when she was 6 weeks old we were hanging out in the living room after dinner and my oldest suddenly said "I need to go potty!' She got up and marched herself to the bathroom, went potty on her own, and never used another diaper after that. And at that point I was doing NOTHING to try and encourage her to potty train. I really agree with Dr. T. Barry Brazelton that potty training is something children accomplish at their own pace, and there really isn't much we can do to change it. We can program them to go on a schedule and take them at appointed times, but then that is really more trouble than changing diapers! Plus they have lots of accidents. I have let my 2 younger children potty train at their own pace and it was easy and relaxed, with minimal accidents. Hope this helps and best of luck to you!

If she isn't interested, she isn't ready!

All I'll say here is DON'T rush things. Follow her lead. Introduce the potty, let her run around without diaper or panties, but DON'T rush it. Chances are, even if she seems fully "trained" she could easily regress when the baby comes. Happens all the time.

I personally wouldn't even think of it under the age of 2 UNLESS my child showed all the signs. Please don't do it for your convenience. Do it only if she's showing all the signs. It probably won't work if she's not ready, and you'll be very stressed - not good at this stage of pregnancy! All the bribes in the world don't work if child is not ready. And 2 in diapers is not the end of the world. I had two in CLOTH diapers, and managed just fine. #1 finally potty learned at 3 after lots of patience, and now we have #3 on the way. So I'll have two in cloth diapers again.

Aah, I just read your last line again: She does not seem interested in going. To me that is your answer. She is NOT interested, so she is NOT ready. Sorry, honey. Don't push something that isn't the right timing. Diapers may be expensive (though going cloth is certainly a way to save money, your babies' bottoms, and the environment!), but it's more important that your daughter reach her milestones on HER time.

Good luck with everything, and congratulations!!!

she is too young. You don't usually start until 2- 2 1/2 yrs old at the earliest. There are some that are ready earlier but they let you know,which does not seem like your case.

too young! can she tell you she needs to be changed? she has to be able to recognize before she goes to be able to master this.

She's way too young to start unless she wants to very clearly. Even if you make progress, at this age you're the one who is trained, not the baby. And she'll regress as soon as the baby comes anyway. Relax and let her give you some signs sometime after she's 2 and starts to show some interest. I had 2 17 months apart, and we just did a little bit of assembly line diapers after a while.