My son is getting potty trained and bedtime is a struggle. I put him on the potty just before I put his diaper on and PJ's. He will go pee. I get him in bed and he cries that he has to go potty again. Most of the time, it's a stall tactic and he just wants out of his room and stalling going to sleep. I put him on the potty and nothing. I tell him that it's not nice to say he has to go and then does not go. I also tell him that if he doesn't go, I will take away one of his stuffed animals that he sleeps with. I need to teach him that he can't "cry wolf". The times that he does actually have to go, I praise him and tell him good job. My question is, I feel like a horrible parent if I ignore his request to go potty one more time but like I said, most of the time he doesn't really have to go. I'm looking for suggestions how to stop the stalling and saying he has to go when he really doesn't. I already let him sit on the potty for a few min before PJ's just to make sure he doesn't have to go more. Please help me stop this pattern he is developing.
When I know my son is stalling, I just nod and ignore the stall. Sometimes I even tell him he is stallling with a smile, give and kiss and go. Kids are clever aren't they?! I'd say ignore and move on.
Tell him you'll come check on him in "5 minutes". If he feels like he still has to go, THEN he can go. Chances are when you go back in he'll be asleep.
My boys both tried this, sometimes even my 8 year old still will. if he can hear us in the living room, he will get up to go to the bathroom just so he can see what we are doing.
i would suggest that you make him wait a few minutes before you let him go potty again. If he is calling out for you, answer him but let him know you are busy and will be there in a little bit. Make him wait longer each night. If he really has to go he will mostlikely call out again or try to go on his own, if not he will most likely fall asleep waiting for you, mine always did.
Without telling him that you are doing so, start his bedtime routine 30 minutes earlier. That way, he gets his "extra" chance to use the potty, and he's still going to bed at the time you want him to.
Also, consider putting a little potty chair in his room. That way when he goes "one last time", he's not leaving his room. If he's sitting forever on the potty before bed, set a timer for 10 minutes, and say that when the timer goes off, it's time for bed.
I'd reconsider punishing him when he says he has to go, but then doesn't. He may start to wait too long to go, and you might see an increase in accidents down the road. Also, I wouldn't ignore his requests to use the potty--this is sending seriously mixed messages. The other side of this coin is the kid who has to go but doesn't say anything, and then wets himself.
J.,
If you let him out of bed, you are reinforcing the "cry of wolf." Either let him get out of bed or stand your ground when you say he can't. The trouble comes with inconsistency. My kids tried this tactic to get out of bed, too. When they were first trained, I would just let them get back up and didn't pick a fight. Once they had better bladder control, I was serious when I said they weren't getting out of bed. They quickly learned to get all the potty out the first time. A wet pull up or wet bed in the morning isn't the end of the world. This is how they learn - from their mistakes.
Good luck,
S.
