Potty Training Advise

I went through a whole summer of the diaperless stage and she was potty trained by the end of it all. Before that, it didn't matter what I used, she would go in it: training diaper, panties, etc. Naked was the only way she would go to the potty. Good luck!

Hi T.

You'll probably get lot's of thoughts on this topic. But, my now 13 year old, at almost 4 was doing the same or worse. I found he was just too busy to go. He would poop in his pants as well, which was particulary irritating to me. I allowed him to clean his own underpants and he was quite adept at washing his underpants by the time he decided it took less time to go to the toliet than have to go through all that he went through, not going to the toliet.

Now, if you could help me with how I can get him paying consequences for his behavior now, instead of me, I'd be in good shape. For example, I ask him to put some books in boxes for me today and he decided it would be a fine time to go climb the tree outside!!!! I had to go find him, no malice on his part, just completely avoided what he was instructed to do. I swear it was easier when he was 2! Thought you might enjoy hearing what you have to look forward to. Take care and keep a sense of humor, with this, he will grow out of it!

Happy New Year
D.

T.,
I had the same issue with my son, I ended up putting him on the potty every 10-15 minutes, talking to him, reading him a book, rewarding him if he sat on the potty,

I also had to enlist my husband. He was uncomfortable at first going to the bathroom in front of his son, but the more my son saw what daddy did, the more he would try. It took alot of love, patiene etc. If you need to. Bring the potty(if able) to where the tv is or something. Let him sit on the pott watching his favorite show etc, then if that starts to work, slowly move it back to the bathroom.

I am now training my granddaughter and having the same problem. She knows what the potty is for, but she won't go on it.

C.

Hi T.,
We are also in the process of potty training our 2 1/2 year old son and I've found that http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/ is a wonderful resource of free info including step-by-step info on a weekend plan.
We are almost there ourselves and now just need to make the last steps of putting him in cotton training pants and then really spending a couple of days of just potty training (we are waiting for things to slow down after the 1st).
From what I understand with what I've read and many moms that I've talked to, they need to mess when they are in regular pants a few times before they really get the idea that they need to use the potty all the time. I know my son will go in the potty when i take him to it, but if he has pull ups on he has no problem going in them too.
We also plan on using a sticker progress chart where he gets a sticker for each time he goes and stays dry and then after so many stickers he gets a bigger reward (like a new book or matchbox car).
So I think if you make the move to the padded cotton pants, use a more structured reward system and then spend at least a weekend focusing on the training (which there are details about in the website I sent you) you will see some serious progress!
Good luck--like I said, I'm there with you!

My son didn't potty train until 1 week before his 3rd birthday. We tried several times during his 2's to train him but he didn't want anything to do with it. So we just left the potty out in the bathroom and quit trying. Then a week before he turned three, dang it if he didn't just want to use it by himself. He didn't want anyone watching. He just wanted to do it by himself with no one watching. So we just peeked around the corner once in a while if he seemed to be taking a while. My aunt has 4 boys and she waited until each one of them turned three before he tried to potty train. And they all did fine. Boys seem to just take longer to be ready than girls. Anyway, my best advice is drop the subject, leave it alone and wait til he's three or he asks. Also, there is a really good chapter in John Rosemond's "How to make the terrible two's terrific" on potty training. It's not just for twos. It works wonders for three year olds too. Best of luck! Jen

I am a mother of four children, 3 girls and one boy. The best thing I can tell you is relax! Boys are usually later trainers... plus since he's your first, he doesn't have an older sibling to model after, so it will probably take a little longer. Keep him in his diapers for a little while and just lay off the potty training completely. My bet is that in about 2-3 months the "potty switch" will flick in his brain and he'll tell YOU he's ready for the potty.

T., Potty training some if not most boys is the pits. My first born was a boy and like yours could care less if he was wet or dry or stinky. He had no interest in the potty training scenario. Being diaperless is helpful since they can really feel if they get wet immediately. The Once Upon a Potty Story/DVD was helpful since it is gender specific. I know you (like me too at the time) are so ready to have him potty trained but it can be a long process. Make peace with the filth, buy lots of lysol wipes, he will get it when it clicks in his head and really we can only show them the way. It will click with them when they are ready. The Girlfriends Guide to Toddlers says it will happen before their 4th Birthday. This is a great book if you don't have it already.
Good luck, K. J.

You are doing all the right things, just keep it up and he'll catch on. It may take a few weeks but this is a new thing and once he catches on to that feeling he gets when he's gotta pee or poop then he'll be set. It's putting the two together in his mind and once it clicks he'll have it.
I cleaned up a lot of pee and poop. You are doing right by the underwear instead of pullups during the day. It means more work for you, but Rome was not built in a day and without mess.
You are on the right track and doing a great job.
Stay with it.

Ask any Pediatrician and they will tell you that the average and normal age of Pt is between 3 and 4, so relax. your son knows what it's about, he's just not comfortable with it yet. at some point, probably sooner than later, he'll want to be a "big boy" and he'll let you know he's ready. I realize there are societal pressures, but you have to always do what's right for your individual child. My son was ready about a month before he turned 3, but my daughter is now three and because of a sensory dysfunction, she has trouble knowing when she has to go. the ped said to give her some time to feel it out. I am amazed at moms who have the time to put their child on a strict "go to the potty every 10 minutes" schedule. I am not that disciplined, but I still got the job done. bottom line, don't force it, he will get it and in the mean time, enjoy not haveing to pack extra clothes every where you go;)

I have to tell you as some would probably disagree but as a mother of 2 I have learned that when they are ready...it will happen. When I tried to PT my girls I had the worst time and my pedi told me to just encourage them to do it and eventually they would and both times it worked and they both were PT by 3 1/2...with no accidents, wetting the bed or anything. So I would say be patient and when he is ready you will know....hope this helps...good luck

Relax! He will be potty trained when you stop giving him the attention for wetting his pants.

You are on the right track...but I totally agree that when THEY are ready it happens, not when you are ready. My daughter will be 3 next week and she just potty trained 2 months ago. She is well advanced in her learning/skills and very verbal...she wanted to do it HER way. Good luck!

I used a potty training book for my son. This is what worked for us...a timer. We set a timer for 10 minutes...then we went to the potty and tried to go. Then, after a couple of days, we increased the time to 15 minutes...then 20 minutes...etc. It really worked. We made a HUGE deal about going and had some little songs that we sang!! We also let him pick out some "big boy" underwear. We ended the diapers and never went back! I hope this works for you...but you have to stick to it...no matter where you go-take the timer!!

I don't have any advice except maybe he's just not ready yet. I know that's not what you want to hear but if all else fails (and I'm sure you'll get some addtl advice from other Mommy's) then maybe it's too soon. Some little ones train early and some late. My son wasn't ready to start training until he was around 3. It helped that there were other kids around who went on the potty. And actually I think his Dad talked him into it. He didn't want to go at home but he went to his Dad's one weekend and they worked on it and he came home going on the potty. I had tried before that and he wanted nothing to do with it. He also wouldn't go on a little potty...he would only go on the big potty. I'm not sure what they told him, I can only assume that he was a big boy and should go on the big potty like the rest of us...whatever they said, it worked. :0) Your little one will come around too. You are doing a good job it sounds like, kids just learn on there own terms sometimes. Good Luck...and if you want me to ask what they told him let me know and I will.

My son who is now 8 refused to potty train for a long time. We finally got his to start peeing in the potty at sometime between 3 & 4, but he continued to mess his pants. He wanted to go to school and was supposed to start pre-K when he was 4, but because he was messing his pants I had to pull him. Out. I told him that if he wanted to go to school he had to stop messing his pants before fall, so he could go to kindergarten. He stopped. Sometimes they just aren't ready and if they aren't ready they just wont do it. My oldest daughter was potty trained before she was 2. My youngest who is now 26months just got her potty for Christmas. She uses it sometimes, like your son. She just isn't fully ready yet, so we have it there for her to use when she is ready.

I Wish you luck with this. My son would not potty train until 3, when he decided he wanted to go into a class with bigger kids at daycare. They wouldn't let him until he was potty trained, so he trained himself in no time to get away from the babies.

Potty Training is a commitment. A few things that worked for us...

In the beginning, make regular trips to the potty. This is the commitment part. You have to do it regularly for it to become a habit. Go upon waking up, within 10 minutes of having any drink as well as following meals, before and after nap time, before bed time, etc. Try to figure out regular intervals that work for your schedule. Also watch for the pee-pee dance.

DON'T ASK! Just take them and say, "It's time to go to the potty!" Don't act like it is a chore. Be pleasant and patient. Don't make a big fuss over it but do be persistent and insistent, you are the adult, you make the rules....be firm and resolute. Whether they say they have to go or not is irrelavant at this point. Also, it doesn't matter if they go or not what matters is establishing the behavior of going to the potty regularly.

Give praise for success, "Isn't that better than having messy pants?" Always be encouraging, "That's okay, maybe you'll get it next time." And make sure there is a next time. Don't give up, consistency is the key here.

Make them clean up the mess, especially if you believe it was not an accident. This may mean you have to literally hold their hands and help them clean it up but I guarantee after a few cleaning episodes they will think twice about making another mess.

Once they are going potty regularly you can ease up on the "scheduled" intervals. Just be mindful of how much they drink, when the last time they went to the potty was and when the next opportunity to go will be, you should at this point be able to use your judgement. And you still need to watch for the pee-pee dance, shifting from foot to foot, and general twitchieness. Don't start asking them if they need to go until they can reliably tell you that they need to go potty. If you need them to go (say before leaving the house) then they need to go, or at least try, regardless of what they say.

Once they become experienced potty users....
You still need to make them go at certain times to avoid recreational potty trips. On several occasions my 4 year old son has "needed" to go potty, not because he needed to but because he was bored or didn't want to eat his meal. So, I still insist my children go before and after sleeping, before and after meals, and before and after leaving the house. That way I know and can say, "You just went such and such a time ago, eat your food or wailt until I'm done and I (or somebody) will take you, etc."

Potty training is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. The rate of your success is determined by your level of commitment. Stay with it and I promise, as a mother of 3, you will be rewarded!

Your next challenge is but-wiping!!!!

Children learn by looking at actions, they see and copy more than talking. go figure it out!