Potty Training Advice - Sterling, VA

Please do wait until she decides she is ready! You can cause her psychological and probably physical problems if you rush her. Let me know how it goes.

Hi there!

Oh heavens, wait until she looks like she needs to go?? When is THAT supposed to happen???

No, take her at least once every 1/2 hour. I recommend, though it's time consuming, every fifteen minutes. Every time you take her that she didn't go, she still has to go! A lot of kids take time to figure out what it feels like to have to go, and then they don't quite know how to react quickly enough to get something done about it when they do! At daycare I am guessing that they take her very often. My son's daycare taught me how to potty-train, and it's been very helpful!! Also, they told me to stop putting him in pull-ups altogether, even though it means a mess, because all a pull-up is is a glorified diaper. When it's on the child, it feels no different.

Good luck!!!! Potty training is SOOOO hard!!!

Hi There,

There were a couple of things that helped me when I potty trained my daughter. First of all, I made a big deal anytime she sat on the potty, no matter what happened. If she sat down for 2 seconds or had an accident standing right in front of it...didn't matter. Yea-rah Ella! I made it part of our daily routine, similar to what they do at school. Wake up, take off wet diaper, sit on the potty and have a book. Like wise, when we were washing hands before meals and at bath time. Basically, anytime I would change her diaper normally, I had her sit on the potty. It takes time and its tiresome but the other side is so nice! We also shared a few books and videos. Overall we tried to stay nonchalant about the whole thing as possible. We had baby #2 on the way, so I was motivated! Hang in there, stay calm, and stick to it!
J.

Oh, do I feel your pain. My daughter Erin would go at daycare too, but use diapers at home. She was good with pull ups at first and then she had a couple of days where she was treating them like diapers. So I said fine, I know she has the control, let her wet big girl undies (those padded underwear. Plastic pants didn't work for us, they just leaked out the side.) When I told my daycare provider about it, she had that look like "yeah! the light has finally come on"!, over My head! Erin did learned #1 pretty quick after that.

Number 2 happened MUCH later. She was 4+ when she finally stopped having #2 accidents. I kept hearing the advice of paying attention to signs of when she has to go, but the time I noticed anything (it's quiet...too quiet!) the deed was already done. She would go off in a corner like they say, but she would make sure I was busy cooking dinner or something I was distracted by. If she was playing with something and didn't feel like using the toilet, I took away what she was playing with at that moment for the rest of the day. That helped.

[Aside: my kid could do #2 without doing #1!? She still can! Weird!]

I agree with Heidi, I think pull ups confuse. I realize now that I'm through with it that potty training is just messy, there's no getting around that. I think pull ups should maybe be used for long car trips or anyplace they're going to be STUCK, but that's it. Otherwise, once you know they have to control they're playing you, like the other lady said.

*Sigh* Good luck! -S

If she goes at school and not at home. She is working you! Take it from a mom who had a daughter that did the same thing! Kids know who is in charge and at home she is. At daycare she is not.

With that said, the Today show last week they had an expert on the subject. She can train your kid in a day. Go to MSNBC and she explains how to do it.

I have a couple of suggestions. First if you want to go quickly then I would take a weekend and devote it to potty training. I would let her have as much liquid as she will drink and maybe juice popsicles since it is summer and then every 30 min. take her to the bathroom. You will eventually catch her at the right time esp. if you are encouraging her to drink a lot. A couple of days of this and then when she is home during the week I would just keep asking every 30 min. and taking her every hour. You could also pair this with what we call potty candy in our house. I use 1 skittle or m&m for #1 and 2 for #2 and then phase this out once they get the idea. I only use it at home. The other option would be to take a little more time and borrow the "Once Upon a Potty" video from Netflix or the library and let her watch it with her little potty in the living room and act out what she sees on the video. The video also offers some good suggestions for parents during the parent section. My kids have all trained using this video and then I worked into the suggestions I listed at the top.

My daughter was fully potty trainned a little before 2 1/2 at daycare but would NOT go for me at home. After awhile I realized that she went at school b/c all of her little friends did it too. I had to bribe her with M&M's for each time she went at home until she got the hang of it. Even after she started going at home sometimes she would ask if she could have a pull-up and I realized she just didn't want to deal with it. I guess she thought when she was at home she was off duty. It is very normal but very frusterating!!

Get rid of the pullups and diapers. Use the thick cloth underwear and plastic pants. They hate it. Pullups are just like diapers. There is no discomfort for the child who has had them on since birth. She will start letting you know when she has used the bathroom because she will feel the wetness. As far as the poo, I would recommend getting some rubber gloves and look forward to the inconvenience. It won't last long and she will be excited to tell you when she has to go. I have done this with all three of my girls (they were completely potty-trained at 24-28 months) and I am now doing it with my 27 month old son. Good luck.

Hi! As a fellow mom who is also a licensed social worker and therapist, I can tell you that my own daughter was very difficult to "toilet train". Having taught parenting over and over, I foolishly thought I was an "EXPERT". I tried everything! Candy when she produced, sitting for hours on the potty reading and playing, watching tv, goody bag with small "presents" she got to pick from when she produced on the potty (which was kept next to the toilet in a fancy gift bag), bought a watch that beeped on the hour to remind us to head to the potty for 5 minutes, got rid of all diapers and had shopping trip for her choice of "big girl undies", made her clean up after accidents, etc, etc...after trying each of these for at least 2-3 weeks, I had had it! I called the pediatrician in tears and asked for a referral to a specialist. I was convinced my almost four-year-old had something medically wrong. I had been trying since she was about 32 months and began expressing interest in the potty I bought when she was 18 months. The pediatrician actually called me back herself and told me to stop EVERYTHING! She assurred me that my daughter would be trained but that it was not a medical issue unless she was over 5! So, I stopped everything. I told preschool that I understood that they would not change her...that she would wear a pull-up and if she was wet she would have to sit in it until I picked her up. Guess what...she was fully trained by kindergarten and now that she is 7 is doesn't seem like such a big deal! I know it's hard and there is sooo... much pressure to get her trained and out of diapers but relax and she WILL get it! I used to joke with my daughter that she was going to have to go to college where my sister worked so my sister could change her diaper! LOL. Good luck!

D.

Hi P.,

Here are some web sites:

http://www.parentingtoddlers.com/pottytraining.html

http://www.thediaperfreebaby.com/

http://potty-training.suite101.com/article.cfm/elimination

hope this helps. Good luck. D.

I'd talk to the daycare providers first; this might be pretty common with kids who "go" at daycare and not at home and they might have suggestions.

This might be a control issue for her -- "You can't MAKE me go!" Home is her time, her turf, and maybe she's feeling this is hers to control there. Which frankly, it is; you really can't make anyone go. She truly may not be ready to be fully trained without being taken and reminded constantly and if that's the case, that's OK.

At home I'd start taking her to sit every hour too, tedious though it is for you. The advice about no pullups is good too; she may need to feel wet.

An idea: This might not work depending on how young she is, and it's not a solution if she's just not ready. But if you and the daycare folks feel she's really ready but just resistant, you may want to have her peel off her wet (not pooped!) panties and clothes, "wash" them by hand at the bathtub faucet, hang them up, etc. It'll take time and she'll complain but if you stay very calm and sweet and firm about "Yes, I'm sorry you have to do this too, but if you can't keep dry, we do need to clean the clothes right away or they get smelly. Thanks for being helpful. (etc.)" -- you might make an impression. Tell her she has to do this cleaning etc. before she can return to play. But DON'T act like it's a punishment! Just a ho-hum chore that must be done, all of it, however long it takes, every single time, before she can play, eat, whatever. Again, tedious for the adults, and it has to be done consistently, but if it works...I know people who say this approach has worked with some older kids, but I'm not sure about a three-year-old unless she's mature enough to "get" that going in the toilet eliminates all this work. Good luck.