i had a baby in November, potty trained my toddle (2 1/2) about 2 weeks later she did really well for a month, then the week before Christmas started pooping and wetting her pants, and since i have been very unsuccessful getting her trained again... i dont know what to do all the tricks i used before are not working.. is this normal for reverting and now she just turned 3, how much longer should i wait to push her on the potty... she has no interest in it..
Thanks to all for your advice i am waiting on her to tell me when she is ready again. I have seen her behavior improve with me spending more one on one with her. She has no interest in the potty still but we will be utilizing the advice here and i know it will work
Get her one of these my son got one yesterday and he loves it. He has been so good about going since I put it on his wrist.
Good luck!
As a mother of four (11,10,9, and 4), it sounds like there could be some regretion. Of course your 3 year old is going to be jealous and will work any angle for your attention. What instantly came to mind when I read your request was to try giving her an over abundance of attention when she is successful with potty training and say nothing to her when she's unsuccessful. For instance when your changing her pull-up, say nothing, don't even smile at her. Just get the job done and go on about your day. But if she goes in the toilet, make a HUGE deal. Tell dad or have her call dad and tell how happy and proud you are of her and how proud she should be of herself. Also, try setting aside some time for one on one with your 3 year old. Coloring, playdough, park, baking, anything that would make her feel that for 15 to 20 minutes its all about her.
Potty training is hard because this is one of only two things our little tiny people can control. She is letting you know she can and will control this. The best way I have found to deal with control issues and toddlers is give them more choices. What panties do you want to wear? Do you want to go potty in your potty chair or in mommy's potty or your potty? The more choices (even if they are not related to going potty) you give them the more in control they feel and the less you will have to battle with the item they are trying to control. It takes a couple days to two weeks, but once you start you will see a lot of your normal battles resolve because they feel empowered by making the choice. Good luck.
Hi Mom,
So sorry to hear about your potty training woes. Who dosen't have a challenging time with potty training at one level or another? I am a mother of three girls ages 6,4,and 2 and I babysit for another mom her girls are 3 and 6. My advice to you is first of all the most anoying advice in the whole world, but true, Relax. Your kiddies know when your stressed and it becomes thier leverage to get your goat, so take a breath. I know that three seems like a reasonable age to have your little one potty trained and I can appreciate the frustration that you are feeling trust me! Try to look at potty training as a process and make sure that you are committed to the long haul. Patience is key. Kids go through many changes during the toddler years. And their focus changes daily. So one day might be a good day with the potty training the next day they might be more interested in learing to color. The best thing to do is praise their success and help them feel like your in it with them. If they have an accident say You'll do better next time. Let it be their choice! Be a team if you don't have the patience one day do not push it! If you notice that they are trying out something new do not push her to be perfect that day. Build on your success together, and know that accident and regression are all part of the process. So set a goal of once a day going potty or good job for sitting on the potty every day or every hour for five minuets, whatever will bring you success for the day that's what you want and it will happen! All the best to you.From a Mommy that's walked a long road of potty training
First, if she did went on the potty for a month there is no reason she shouldn't be able to do it again. As well, if you have put her back in diapers or pull ups, she has no reason to go in the potty, once trained to go in the potty, she should stay in underwear.
She may be doing this for several reasons. Control, attention, or change in diet. With a new baby any of those are possible. She may feel that it is a way she can divert attention away from the baby to her, after all negative attention is better then no attention. When baby needs changing that takes a lot of time and attention from her-so uses that as a cue. Make sure she gets her share of your time. Also make sure she is part of what is happening with the baby--have her help out where it is appropriate.
If she has figured out that it is something she can control, that is harder. Toddlers often feel that they "control none of their life- everything is done too them". Tell her each day she is clean-the next day she can pick out what she wears. And if it doesn't match--who cares, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE will know she picked it out herself. Tell her once she has picked out her own clothes for 2 weeks or 3 or 4, whatever you decide will do the trick, you will take her shopping to pick a new outfit.
The last possibility is a change in diet. Least likely but possible. Has she started eating any new foods, or too much of one food lately? Too much juice?
Last thing, when she has an accident, make sure she helps you clean it up, she is not a baby anymore.
I think it's great when a mom actually can potty train their child early, but I still think most kids do better starting at 3yrs or older. I wouldn't bring it up except to notice "oh, jonny's in big kids pants now...", and then see if she starts to be interested again....Kids don't need alot of presser, it's alot as it is to take in the world....
It is very common for children to go back on their potty training a few months after they are trained. You can try telling your child that only she knows when she needs to go and only she can make sure she gets to the potty in time. Make sure she understands that not only is it her responsibility, but you cannot know when she needs to go. I don't know if this will help, but it might. It may also be in response to the new baby.
I had the same problem with my daughter. After I had my second child was born she regressed and I didn't know what to do. Fist off this is VERY normal. In fact most kids do this if they have a sibling soon after being potty trained. I tried many things and finally was fed up with it. Some may disagree with me but I sat her on the toilet and said you don't get off till you go potty. She cried and whined and I stuck with it. 2 or 3 hours went by. I'm not kidding, my butt hurt because I had to sit on the tile feeding my baby while she sat on the toilet. So finally she went potty and I jumped up and clapped and shouted and praised her and then told her she gets 1 m&m for going pee. I made her feel like she was a queen. My husband even came and celebrated over by the toilet. I told her if she goes poopoo she gets 2 m&ms. I kept my m&m's with me for about a month and then finally slowly had them disappear. 18 months later she is still doing good, she has an occasional accident (1 a month), but for the most part is doing really good. I put her in panties only like a month ago since she has been doing so good. I would only put her in panties during the day if she can hold it and put pull-ups on during naps and night time till she hasn't had a went night for about a month. And of course make sure she goes potty before bed and naps, even if she says she doesn't have to. Good Luck!
Hi J.,
Traditional mothering wisdom says that you shouldn't try to toilet train a child within 6 months of moving, having a new baby, or any other significant change in the child's life. In even the most loving of families, having a new baby sibling is a significant anxiety-causing event for a toddler, especially a firstborn. Forget the toilet training for now. It is very common for toddlers to revert. She will need lots of reassurance that she is still very loved, even though in her mind, all your attention is going to the new baby. Look for ways to point out to her how grown up she is and all the things she can do. Talk about how excited and happy you were when she was a new little baby and all the things you used to do for her, etc. Try again in a few more months when she is feeling better about the adjustment and hopefully she'll be more co-operative. Good luck!
B.
SAHM of two teenagers, one 11 yr old, and three adult children.
My daughter was little over three when her brother was born. She was already potty trained--even to the point of being dry at night. She immediately regressed when the new babe came home. It is incredibly frustrating, but TOTALLY NORMAL! This truly is one of very few things that your toddler has any control over. We had a lot of behavioral issues with our first when our second was an infant. They are so loving to each other now (5 1/2 and 2 yrs)!
I highly recommend making no big deal out of it whatsoever. If you feel the need, explain to her that "we will try again when your body is ready" (in a couple of months). As others have said, if she happens to go potty in the toilet, make the biggest deal out of it--do a potty dance, tell her how much of a big girl she is, how proud you are of her, call Grandma (or whomever is extra special) to tell the news, etc.
In addition, as others have said, find things to do especially with your oldest. It can be just sitting with her in your arms and sing a song just to her or reading her a book. Also, it helps to find small things that she can help with (if SHE wants) to help with the baby. Toddlers are great at handing you the diaper when babe needs a change or handing you the diaper/burp cloth when feeding. And talk to her about how wonderful of a helper she is to her Mommy and what a wonderful big sister she is.
I hope this helps some. It took over six months to get our daughter back on track, and believe me the more pushing, the worse it got! So... Good Luck, and this too shall pass!
J., this happened to a close friend of mine. By the time her daughter was 4 1/2 she was close to a nervous break-down. As luck would have it she took her daughter in for a check up and while there asked her doctor if there were anything else she could do. After explaining all of what had been happening the doctor did some tests and found out that she had a serious condition that was causing this problem. You may consider taking her in. In my friends case a surgery was needed. But, it may be that it is something less intrusive.
My daughter was doing great on the potty at two, and then regressed. I was so excited too because she was going poop on the potty with some help of course. Sometimes they're just not ready, or maybe it's just a little set back that you have to get through. Maybe there's a little jealousy involved if she sees you changing the baby's diapers. But I would just go for it and throw underwear on her and be prepared to clean up some messes.
