So I am at a total loss with this whole potty training thing. My son is 21 months old and around October he starting consistently telling me when he had to poop. So I got the potty seat and then my mom had a potty chair at her house which he seemed to like better so I took that and he sat on it a few times but then the novelty wore off. Now he's started to ask to have his diaper changed. I know he's young but to me this seems like a clear sign that he's ready to be trained. The problem is that he won't even sit on the potty. I suggest it to him and he says no. I know some people will say that I'm the parent and he should just do as I say but I don't want to force him and have him get angry because I feel like that would be counterproductive. My question is how do I get him used to the potty idea? Should I give a reward just for 'trying' to go? Are there any books for kids that you found helpful? Just a side note, I think I may have created this problem because my son is usually in or around the bathroom with me and my husband as we're getting ready for work (hair, brushing teeth, etc)and anytime he goes near the toliet we always say 'yucky - don't touch' for obvious reasons. Now when he sees the toliet he says 'yuck.' Do you think that's what caused this fear of the potty? How can I undo this?
The average age for boys to be potty trained is 39 months. Relax and enjoy him right now. Don't push it and let him decide when he's ready. You will know when the time is right. My son is almost three and we're still working on it :)
It really seems like he just isn't ready yet. My son was 3.5 when he started potty training & honestly, it was really simple because he was older. Just don't push him, or it will make your life alot more difficult. It will happen when he (not you) is ready. Good luck!!
I'm at the same stage with my little guy. He tells me when he needs a diaper change and talks about the potty, but not quite ready to sit on it. Just keep asking if he would like to sit on the potty. When he is ready I think he will. I learned from the first time around not to push it. My oldest never showed interest in potty training, but we started at two anyway. It was a long drawn out battle. This one shows so much more interest in it, even at 20 months, that I'm encouraged it will be easier.
Our potty training went pretty much like Faith posted about. The only thing we did different was in addition to stickers, he got 1 M&M for peeing and 2 for pooping. that really worked wonders for us!! he does sound like he is ready...buy some underwear and let him walk around in it...you'll soon realize that he probably has a very consistent potty routine (like 15 minutes after eating, etc.) so you can try the potty at those times. if he has an accident, don't change his underwear right away, let him feel what it feels like, then put him on the potty for a few minutes & clean him up. You'll be doing lots of underwear laundry, but it works! good luck! it's a tough and difficult time but you'll get through it...and for some reason it seems that boys take longer than girls so just hang in there!
The average age for boys to potty train is 39 months. They can be "getting ready" to train for a loooooong time. I'd casually offer it, reward him for use, and back off. He will eventually potty train, but my guess is that he's just too young. My son is 26 months and knows when he has pooped, but he's no where near being able to anticipate it, communicate it, and get himself to the bathroom and manage his clothes himself. If they can't do that ALL, they aren't ready yet.
It seems to me like my son and most of his friends went through an interest in the potty at about 18 months (which it sounds like your son did too). But it's just an interest, not "time." :-)
I agree that he is kinda young, however, he is showing signs that he doesn't like to be wet or dirty, so he may be starting to show interest. Before you decide to start potty training, get some books and videos for him. Read him the books and put the videos on. He will enjoy them and learn about going potty at the same time.
When you are ready to really start on the potty training, my suggestion is to go at it slow and stay consistent. I use a reward system with my kids. It has worked very well for us. Find something that he likes that isn't too expensive, like stickers. Set up a reward system and hang a calendar in the bathroom to keep track.
The first stage of this reward system is just getting him to sit on the potty. If he does sit on the potty, read him a book while he is sitting on the potty then give him a sticker both on the calendar and on his hand. When he is comfortable with this, say several weeks without resistance, change how he gets the reward. The next stage of the reward would be doing something in the potty. At this stage, don't make a fuss if he has an accident first. The idea is just for him to do something in the potty. When he does, make a BIG deal out of it and give the reward. The next stage would be going in the potty without having an accident first. After he does this for a while, change the reward from every time he goes without an accident to staying clean and dry all day, then all week, and so forth. You can also change what the reward is based on what is of interest to him or how long he stays dry.
Another suggestion would be that when you are ready to start the potty training, don't use pull-ups during the day. Pull-ups are neat but they are no better than diapers. They pull the moisture away from the skin so that your child can't feel when he is wet. Get some potty training underwear. They are really thick like cloth diapers and they pull on just like regular underwear. Go ahead and keep using the pull-ups when you go out and at bedtime.
Just remember to use lots of positive reinforcement and avoid the negative side of it.
Good Luck!
I have to say I had a very easy time with the whole potty training thing, but I also didn't push it too young....it literally took 3 days for him to be completely trained. I heard people talking about it happening this quick and never would've believed it to be possible, but it was. We started on Sat, and he was completely trained by Tuesday and had one accident that first day and never has has an accident since and that was 7 months ago. He was just about 3 when we started and I mainly started b/c I wanted to get him ready for preschool. I kept putting it off, b/c I didn't really mind changing diapers rather than cleaning up an accident. He was telling me 6 months or more before we started when he needed to be changed but wasn't really interested in the toilet so I never pushed it. Then once I knew I really had to get started I think he was just ready and caught on very quickly. I did use the M&M's for the first week or so, but even that wasn't needed after a week. It was a very smooth process compared to other stories I hear, but I also didn't try to push it too young and that may have made it easier for us. We never really had to conjole or force anything...sometimes things just get easier as they get older. So, if you don't have any major reason for pushing it now...maybe hold off until he's a little older and it may be so much easier. Good luck!
IMHO he is young and I wouldn't push it. If you do and he isn't ready he will have accidents. I say go slow, remind him to sit on the potty every 30 min to 1 hour. Other than that he will train when he is ready. I would use rewards, give him something small and inexpensive. Could be as simple as going for a walk with just mommy or just daddy, going to someplace he LOVES. Good luck!
Good Morning,
Dont worry about this situation. My son did the same thing and so did a lot of my other friends children. Boys take longer to potty train. I think the younger than 2 yrs old is very young for most boys to be trained. Some of my friends daughters were trained by then but most of their sons not for another yr or 2. My son was very interested around 2 yrs old and went fairly often then all of a sudden lost interest. WE always kept them around so he would still see the potty and had lil containers of books and a small toy or 2 in the box next to the potty so he would maybe get interested and try it again. It happened every now and again but didnt really catch back on until he was almost 3.5-4 yrs old. It really stuck once he started in the big boy class at his daycare and saw all the other students "going" on the potty.
I do think that you should stop using the word "yucky" in reference to it though because it could hurt the situation a bit when he does get interested in it again. maybe just start saying that it is for going potty and not playing on or near it. You should just try and fraze it differently so that he doesnt think that it is "bad" to go near it. I sure wouldnt want to sit my bare bum on something "yucky". :)
Good luck....and remember, dont stress yourself. His time will come. Just dont force it. Leave them around.....maybe in a few different rooms. And ask him daily on a regular basis if he has to go....maybe even bring him in when you and your husband are going and you guys can sit together on the potties.
My son loved the book "Once Upon A Potty" (boy version) Something about it made the whole concept click for him. Just read the book. Stop saying don't touch the potty and relax a bit about the reminding, etc. Sometimes when you back off a few steps, they'll take a few steps forward. Work on the pee part first. Good luck!
Ahhh - being the the later stages of potty training myself, I can tell you that few things have made me feel more inept in my life than potty training. :-)
21 mos. is early, but not completely unheard of. However, based on his change of heart, I think that he is doing what most kids do - experimenting with something new and then reverting to something known and comfortable. My daughter did this several time from 18 months to now (2.5 yrs.)
I don't think he's afraid of the potty necessarily. I tell my DD all the time not to touch or put her toys on the potty because it's dirty. At this age, kids are very much about what's new and exciting. So he is probably feeling like, "OK, mastered pooping on the potty, don't need to do that again. What else can I learn?"
It's great that you recognize that pushing him would be counterproductive! When he shows and interest, by all means, encourage it, and when he doesn't, you can tell him things like, "OK, you can try later" or "Someday when you go on the potty all the time . . . " My daughter has an Elmo DVD and a personalized book that helped prepare her so that when she was REALLY ready, she knew what to do. (unfortunately for her, Mommy did not!)
Good luck!
C.
If you can pull up older posts on this you might find a wealth of ideas.
My local library had lots of books and videos-- There is an Elmo one, and others, the one we used had a cute song I'm going to my potty spot my five year old still sings it sometimes
I think he is totally ready to train. It is a process though, he will have accidents, but he didn't learn to walk or talk over night, it took practice and putting the small steps together, same with potty training.
I really got a lot of good ideas from the Potty training in One day ( or maybe three days) program, i think you can find it on the internet and you can get the idea behind it with out buying anything. I stumbled on it at the library and read the 1960's orginial version. Good stuff in there.
The biggest problem i hear you asking about in your post is how to get him to sit. First it's up to you but we didn't have a down stair bathroom so i used a freestanding potty in my kitchen. I would act all excited and sit the kids on it when i thought they might need to go, like say 20 mins after i gave them a big glass of juice. I would read them stories, you could also do finger plays like Five little monkeys sitting in a tree, Where is Thumbkin, Mr Sun, etc. Two minutes of Mom's undivided attention will do wonders, just plop yourself down on the floor right there with him. Another great idea to get them to sit is to let them blow bubbles, it relaxes them and distracts them and sometimes they will even pee with out really realizing that they are trying. THen you make a super huge big deal out of it and give tons and tons of praise and you are on your way to having a potty trained child.
Don't worry about night time yet, Just get some big kid undies and be consistent, and maybe plan to stay at home alot the first week or two until they start to really get it.
I have tons more to say, but i bet you'll get lots of other advice too.
Think of how much diaper money and landfill space you will be saving !!! yeah!!!
Good Luck!!
