My daughter is 3 and we started potty training about a year ago. It actually went off to a very good start. We would take her about every hour and she would go and usually would be dry throughout the day. Over the summer I had her diaper less and she also did well. She started showing us when she needed to go so we would go off of here signals. Over the last 4 months she has completely regressed. She does well when we are out of the house. But at home...sometimes she tells us after she goes, sometimes before, sometimes she doesn't tell us at all. Sometimes we will take her to the bathroom, she will sit for a couple minutes and tell us she is all done. Then a short while after I will notice her diaper freshly wet. Sometimes she goes willingfully to the bathroom and sometimes she refuses and throws a tamper tantrum. It sounds like this is a common occurrence, but I am frustrated in that I am not sure how to break through this hurdle. There also seems to be a lot of info out there, but I am not sure which direction to take?
Thanks to everyone for all the great feedback. It really helped me in putting together a plan and most importantly sticking to it. Back in February we picked a weekend to get rid of the pull ups and focus on potty training. I was determined not to go back to diapers. My husband was skeptical but supportive. Since she wouldn't consistently tell us when she needed to go, we were probably over paranoid at first, especially when we would go places. But overall it has been going very well....a few accidents here and there. She is actually pretty good at telling us every time she needs to go now. Although we still keep rough tabs on how much she drank versus the last time she went potty, we are more relaxed about the whole thing and go off of her cues.
take off the diaper! That is giving her a sense of security that eliminates the need to HAVE to use the potty. Invest in training underwear. They are cotton underpants that have padded crotches. That way, if she does have an accident, you won't be cleaning up your floors, but she will very much feel that wet sensation, which will help her to not want to let that happen. Good luck.
I was totally dreading potty training my almost 3 year old daughter. My Mom sent me an e-book she found and we followed the method and it sure worked. The idea is no diapers, no pull-ups, no training pants from day one. Go to www.3daypottytraining.com and purchase the e-book. I'll give you an overview. We chose 3 consecutive days to train. For those 3 days we did not leave the house (no walks, no errands). The first day I put her last diaper on her and told her after breakfast we were going to put on underwear. No diapers, no pull ups ever-not even at night. So I got organized (I have a 5 month old). She just wore the underwear and a t-shirt those 3 days. We put the potty in the bathroom and I showed her the treats I bought. She knew that if she went pee on the potty she would get 3 animal cookies and if she went poop she would get a chocolate chip cookie. I also had dollar spot (target) puzzles and toys for the end of each day as a reward. During these 3 days you also want plenty of fluids on hand. I always had 2 sippy cups full of apple juice and when she would finish one I would immediately give her another. This ensures she will have to pee a lot. You have your daughter follow you everywhere-the idea is to pick up on cues she gives off when she has to go. The first day was horrible, she peed on everything (the curtains, her brother's play mat, the carpet, the chair, me) After my second load of wash we were both in tears and she just up and ran to the bathroom and went pee on the potty for the first time. She has really never looked back. A couple of accidents here and there but nothing major. We take her to the bathroom before bed, after she has been asleep for about an hour or so, and again around 5:00 or 6:00 am. We eventually fazed the early pee out. Please feel free to e-mail me or call me with any questions.
Good luck!
C. ###-###-####
The problem was that when you started, maybe she wasnt quite ready , so you just did it part time. You have to make a decision when they're ready and go all the way. Then they know it's not a game and there's no option of going back and forth. Maybe just use a diaper at night for a while. Now, however, your daughter has realized that she has control of this situation and is excerting it. It is also hard because the other 2 are probably still in diapers. So, here's what you do. Either make the executive decision that there's no more diapers in the daytime and stick to it. Let her pee herself a couple times, do not show any emotion about it either. Or, let her go back totally into diapers, but don't change her as often , let her sit in it for a while, and eventually shell get si k of it. The key is to take your emotional response out of it. The reason she is doing what she's doing now is to get a response out of you. If you don't respond, that takes the game out of it.
You mentioned a diaper. For starters, you have to be consistent: either she is too big for diapers or she wears them. You have to show her that you believe her able to take responsibility for her body. So, for starters, I'd throw out the diapers. Second, reward her with something she really enjoys that is cheap when she takes herself to the potty.
When my daughter shows resistance (mind you, my daughter is 22 months), what I do depends on when it is. We have certain rules: we go before we eat, before we leave the house, etc. If it is at a "rule time," I try to distract her while picking her up and bringing her to the potty. This won't work with your 3 year old, but maybe you could do a distraction of sorts by throwing something she really likes to do in as an option after she goes? If my daughter is really resisting and it isn't rule time, I just remind her that pee goes in the potty, telling her I don't want her to wet her pants, but also telling her that I trust her to let me know.
Regressions: they always make regressions before giant steps forward, and it's our job to just clean-up the messes and hang in there.
We put our daughter straight into panties. Made a big deal of going to the store and picking them out. Once she was in them she knew she had to use the potty so that they wouldn't get wet or dirty. She's two and a half, has been in panties for four months and has only had a few accidents.
Do not use diapers when potty training. They get used to being dry with the diaper. I had to switch to rubber pants so when they wetted, they really feel it. Once they feel the uncomfortable wet pants, they don't want to be wet any more. I also had to put them on the toilet every hour and read the potty book to them in the bathroom until they went. Once they graduated every hour, then I would take the every hour and a half until they get it and so on.
With both my girls they told me when they wanted to use the potty. I didn't do it on my schedule. My 2 year old just learned over Christmas break. She just decided it was time. The first one was the same way. I'm sure you have the stickers and the calendar posted on the door and have a reward targeted for when she goes on the potty for "X" number of days. My daughter wanted to go to preschool and she knew she couldn't go unless she could use the potty all by herself. That was motivation enough for her. So what's your daughter's motivation?
Good luck and be patient. Give her a break and she will do it on her own.
I am in agreement with all the other moms...no more diapers or pull-ups. I trained my two daughters when they were about 24 / 25 months, I picked a series of 3 days when we could stay home and work on getting to the potty on time. The diaper came off on the first day and never went back on during the day... ever! Trust your little one she can and will do it. I did use pull-ups with both my girls at night only until they were able to stay dry. We were able to give up night time pull-ups at about 32 months. Good luck. She can do it!!
Over the past 18 months (He turned 4 in December) we worked like heck to get our son to use the potty. He would go for months with our prodding and he would do it. Then he outright refused for 5 months. WOULD NEVER WEAR UNDERWEAR!!!!
I finally told him that we would NEVER buy pull ups again (because they cost too much money which means no more toys) and I purchased...absorbent underwear(he wore them 3 weeks). All of a sudden 3 days ago he tells me that they hurt. I said that the only way he can not wear them is if he wears "big boy" underwear and uses the potty EVERY TIME he has to "go".
3 days so far, accident free, not wetting the bed. Cooperative...happy and REFUSES to wear absorbent underwear or a pull up at night.
He is doing great and he has made the decision...not me!
D.
Best of luck!!!
I ABSOLUTELY agree with ditching the diapers. Just after my daughter turned 2, after me telling her I had to change her diaper when she woke up one morning, she told me she did not want diapers anymore. THat was it, the last day ever! I did not put a diaper on her ever again, even at night. Sure, I had to wash the sheets several times a week because she would wet while sleeping but it has been a year now and we are golden! I think by putting her in a diaper you are telling her that it is okay that she wets, that is what they are for...GOod lUck!!!
ok well being a working mom it is going to be difficult. somewhere along the time were she was doing well and now she got the idea that it was not that important or not impressive enough to keep ur attention. the same thing happened to me with my son and i was working full time all hours. you need to start over taking her every hour or every half hour. I would also say that if after 2 weeks she is doing pretty well and not having too many accidents (maybe 3-4) within that 2 week period then you need to put her in reg. underwear this way when she has an accident she feels uncomfortable and ashamed as other people will notice. Reinforce that babies wear diapers and big girls don't and with having the other little one this should be easy. hope this helps let me know how it works out.
I agree with Julie- ditch the diapers and/ or pull-ups (same thing, basically). Let her be a big girl and deal with the consequences of going in her undies. Get her some really cute/ fancy undies with princesses or something she likes on them, so she won't want to get them dirty.
I also agree with rewarding her well for good choices. It really helped with my son and he was trained at 24 months and it only took me a week. You know she is capable of it, because she does it when you are out, so physically she is able to hold it and control it. Sounds like you just need to try some new things and change it up a bit to get her past this hurdle, then I'm sure you'll get her potty trained very quickly. Make sure whoever watches her during the day while you work (if you don't work from home) is doing the same thing you are doing.
Good luck!
T.
Barefoot Books Ambassador
www.ReadandGrow.com
