Potty Training a Little Girl Who Is Not Interested!!!!????

I would say she is not ready. wait a month or so and then revisit. Let HER take the lead and you will be much less frustrated.

she will get there. Dont push too hard, it will only cause the process to take longer and will be harder on both of you emotionally. My son was over 3 before he was really ready. I would back off for a month and then re-approach it.

Give her a little more time. Wait a month or two and try again. It's soooooo much easier to potty train when the kiddo wants to do it.

I think part of the problem is that it sounds like you still have her in diapers. She doesn't understand WHY she should go on the potty - diapers are just fine. When she goes in the diaper she wants to put it in the potty when SHE decides it's time.

I suggest taking her out of diapers, putting her in training pants and letting her experience what it really feels like to go potty in your pants. Then she has some incentive to want to do in the toilet as opposed to in her pants. Right now she's kind of seeing no point in potty training. You have to let her realize that there is a point to it.

I'd try that and if she still doesn't seem to get it, then back off for a couple of months and then try again.

Good luck!

If she's crying...I would say no. Trust me, I understand just how incredibly frustrating it is. I am also going through this right now. However, I finally realized the only one making it frustrating was me. Within the last week even, DD finally told me she wanted to sit on her big girl potty...and just went. I was shocked...after all the tears and frustration I had felt at potty training a couple months ago...this was all it took?

I now wish I would've just waited and saved myself the headache of trying when she wasn't ready. Yesterday she was dry all day...today we've had a couple accidents, but SHE still seems interested...so I think that's what counts.

I was pretty on the fence with the whole "How much do I push vs Waiting for her to be ready" and can now say that if YOU are easily stressed with potty training (I AM!)...to just wait for her to tell you that she WANTS to use the potty. All it took for me was to back off a little (which is HARD for me to do). Even right now I really want to throw her in undies and go hard core for a few days, but am strongly fighting the urge to do more than she is ready for.

If she asks you to go...I would take her and praise her accomplishment...but I would stop asking her if she wants to go since this is where the struggle is. At least for a month or so.

In order to have any success with this - she's got to want to.
If she doesn't want to, she's not mature enough to train.
You don't want to get into a power struggle over this.
Back off and wait a few months before you try again.
Repeat as necessary.
Some kids train earlier and some kids train later.
My son was 3 1/2 when he was day trained but we kept him in pullups at night till he woke up dry 2 weeks in a row (he was 7 for that).

In brief:

Move to panties for daytime, pull-ups for night. As others noted, make the panties a very positive, happy thing. Do NOT fuss at her if she wets or soils them but DO have her help clean herself and the panties up. Make it matter-of-fact; something we do, not something that involves punishment or embarrassment.

Don't ask if she "needs to go." Her body isn't always telling her that in time yet. But also don't ask her every half hour as you do now -- that's too often, and she's getting upset and crying because, well, she's being interrupted at what she wants to do. Positively and happily announce it's potty time no more often than every hour to 90 minutes -- maybe more if she hasn't had a drink recently.

The fact she came to you with a poopy diaper and knew it should go in the potty is a very good sign.

Keep it all positive and upbeat. Have a supply of new books that are ONLY for potty time and change them frequently.

I agree with Kristen W., we tried with both our boys too early and it was sooo frustrating. We stopped, then tried again a month later and they were trained within a couple of weeks. Wait until she is interested and you will save a lot of time and grief for both of you!

Doesn't sound like she is ready. Let it go for now.

She's getting mixed signals from you, diapers and using the potty don't mix.

Readiness? It's a misnomer. SHE may not be "ready," but she's ready, lol. She knows what she's expected to do and is resisting. Eating, sleeping and using the potty are the only three things preschoolers can control, and she is.

With my guy I missed the window of opportunity to train him easily when he WAS interested at 19 months. Because our ped said at 18 months not to pressure him by setting out a potty. So when I tried at 21 months he wanted no part, acted as your daughter does. I had to back off three times before he got it at 26 months, pee and poop, day and night (his choosing, I'd been content to wait.)

So, my suggestion is to back off. Leave the potty out, but don't say a word about her using it. Wait a week or so, then let her know as soon as her supply of diapers is gone (so don't stock up) she'll be wearing cloth training pants, (save the pretty girlie panties as an incentive for 3 or so dry days and using the potty,) you can get covers for outings. During this time take her to the bathroom with you whenever you go, so she can learn from seeing you pull your pants up and down, do your business, wipe, flush, and wash your hands. You are her best role model.

Once diapers are gone put her in trainers. Explain she will need to pee or poop in the potty, not in them. She will feel the wetness or mess if she does, a good incentive not to. I kept my guy in them with covers at night, which is probably why he was inclined to use the potty at night, not his pants. My DIL did this with another of my grandsons, he trained completely as well in 4 days, at about 27/28 months.

Always tell her every half hour, or time you've determined she'll avoid an accident, "it's time to go potty" and calmly walk her there. Never ask, they'll usually say no and go in their pants within minutes. Watch for her cues she needs to go, too, like dancing back and forth, holding herself, hiding, etc., and get her to the potty fast. The more she goes in the potty the more you can encourage her to go on her own or tell you she needs to go (my guy never told me, he's Mr. Independent), as she learns to recognize her body's signals. Praise her when she successfully uses the potty.

Check out books from the library now, or buy some, about potty training so she sees that other children do it. There's also DVD's on using the potty, Elmo is one, and Potty Power are two we used. Read the books to her and have her watch the DVD's in preparation for training, point out that kids her age do it. Sometimes knowing they're not being singled out helps.

Also check out the site below for information on potty training refusal, the "power incentive" is what got my guy poop trained in a little over a day! :)
http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm

Yes, it's work on your part, but with the goal of helping her accomplish a big milestone in her life :)

I'll answer your question the way I answered a similar one a few days ago. She is not ready until her bladder control is developed. She is not ready if it's a stressful, difficult, negative experience. Her crying and saying no would indicate that it is. It sounds like your child is not ready to potty train, plain & simple.

It's cold. I can tell you that in 13+ years in child care that all kids that start during winter don't get trained until it's warm outside. I don't know why but they just don't get it or it's just too cold or something.

Keep making a big deal out of her going when she does but wait until at least spring or early summer before going full out training with her.

We had some luck with making it a habit, a little bit at a time. The easiest was just to sit her on the potty before bathtime - it's easier to take off her pants and socks if she's sitting, anyway. That takes away the pressure to "perform," too - she doesn't have to go, but she has to sit for a moment while you take off her clothes. And if it's warm in the bathroom and the bathwater is running, well, more often then not, she might just be "inspired" to go. Then you've got a successful habit at least once a day, which is confidence-building, if nothing else. She won't full-on be ready to do it all day, but you have to start somewhere, right?

It's so much easier when kids are really ready, when there is no doubt that they are ready. I would wait. We waited with both of our boys and they weren't ready until just over 3 years (I know girls are traditionally ready sooner), and they were so easy to train. It only took a few days, and they were day and night trained. If you wait it will likely be much less stressful for you and for her. Good luck, whatever you decide.

Sounds like she's on the verge of getting it. I suspect she just doesn't feel the same degree of urgency about this that parents understandably do. And she's probably isn't always clear on interpreting the urge until it has happened – quite normal.

Most children will make this advancement on their own timing (with prodigious "background" support from parents, at first). When they are ready (to recognize signals in time, to commit to succeed, to be consistent), potty learning actually can stick in as little as a day or two, for keeps. (That doesn't mean there won't be a possible slip or three later on.)

At this point, I'd be very careful to keep all potty interactions positive, so that your daughter feels it as a win and not a defeat to master that skill. Asking a younger child if they need to use the potty doesn't work well for most kids. Telling her it's time to try, and encouraging her by making it a team effort (take her when YOU need to go, and/or let her take the toy she's involved with) will generally be more effective.

Please resist showing impatience, annoyance, anger, frustration – all those things parents feel when they have their own time-line in mind. Please don't shame her when she has accidents. I grew up at a time when moms still measured their success by early potty-training, and many of my contemporaries have needed expensive counseling to come to terms with the deep wounds that were left. It's kind of a standing joke among some in my friends.

There are charming books and videos that you can introduce (maybe have already). Be aware that many children do train at about your daughter's age. Many, many more need a few extra months, maybe even a year or more. It's not a straight-ahead process, because it must finally depend not only on physical readiness, but emotional as well.

Wishing you well.

preschools don't ask children if they need to go. when they are at school there is a potty break time. all the kids line up and they go. take her to the bathroom every 2 hours not every half hour. every 2 hours taker her in and say time to go potty. but a heads up. 30 months is not that old. not even 3 some children just take longer.

number 1 problem.. you are asking her if she wants to go to the potty.. .. you tell her it is time to go potty ..

when you decide to train her.. put her in cotton panties.. (get teh thick cotton gerber brand training pants target or walmart)

set a timer take her to the potty every 30-45 minutes.. give her a small treat if she goes.. an m&M.. or smartie...

i did this with both kids.. it works.. expect wet pants the first day.. the second day less wetness.. my kids got it on the 3rd day.

I really think you have to use the cotton panties so they feel wet and yucky.. diapers are so absorbant taht the kids dont feel wet when they are wet..

you should stay home for 3 or 4 days while training.. and keep taking her the potty on a set schedule for at least 2 weeks ... gradually increase the time between potty trips..

Give it a little time and then, for when you do decide to make a go of it:
Stop *asking* her if she needs to use the potty. She needs you to *tell* her, every hour or so at first: "It's time to use the potty."

Believe me, the 'asking' part is one of the things parents do which actually can frustrate the process incredibly. Kid like to say 'no' at this age when they can, (toddlers typically like to 'practice their nos') and so we have to be very authoritative: "It is time to use the potty." Matter-of-fact, no asking, let's go do it. She'll still have accidents, for sure, but having the 'do I or don't I have to go?" dilemma removed will help a lot.

I didn't note during my first reading that your daughter is still in diapers. Like everyone else has suggested: underwear when you are ready to being committed to the process. Not pull-ups, either. Underwear.:)

I think she's potentially ready, but by having her in diapers, you are sending her mixed signals.

What I might recommend is this:

Wait a few weeks, so you cycle out of the current dynamic, where potty is optional.

Then, just wake up one morning and announce, with great fanfare: "Today is Tuesday! We're going to buy you big-girl princess underwear." Let her choose the underwear and go on and on about how amazingly beautiful it is.

Then say, very calmly, "Now that you have big girl underwear, you get to go to the potty the big girl way. How do you want to tell me you need to go? You can say 'I need to go potty,' you can say 'squeak,' you can say 'beep.' What's going to be our secret code?"

Then, don't turn back. No diapers in the daytime, ever again. (You should figure on using pullups at night for at least another year.) The key is to give her a lot of choices, so she feels like she's in control, but really, every path should lead to potty.

I would wait a few weeks and try again.

Maybe she just isn't quite ready? All kids are different. There is no set age when a child HAS to be ready and potty trained.

She's understanding some of it, which is good. Moms cannot expect miracles on this tho. And even if kids get potty trained for daytime, there is no guarantee that nighttime will have the same results. Some kids' bladders just don't grow at the same rate as the rest of their bodies and age. My one son was having difficulties till he was around 12!

She's only 30 mos. I think there are good signs from your description. Give it a chance for success.

Nope, not ready yet. But getting there!

Reeally, try not to be stressed about this. She will eventually potty train. If you push her, she will not train, but fight you instead. You really don't want that. That can cause distended bladder problems when she starts holding it, and constipation when she tries to keep from pooping. Believe me, I've had friends who went through this, all because they tried to control the pottying process with their kids just like they controlled every other aspect of their childs' lives.

Keep it light. Give claps and hugs when she is successful. Make no big deal of it when she isn't.

Dawn

I would lay off completely for a couple months then try again. When you try again do ever ask if they have to go potty because they answer will always be no LOL. Say let's go try the potty.

I agree that your daughter is getting mixed signals from you.

When you think it is time and that she (and you b/c potty training is mainly the parents job ;) is ready you should go NO diapers, so all panties ALL the time and don't go backwards and then you tell her when it is time, don't ask.
Lots of praise when she goes!