I am seeking info from anyone who will help. I have a 2 year little girl. She is very independent but she is very should I say, SPOILED. She is in child care M-F. She is so-called "potty trained" at school. When I take her in to the daycare in the mornings she takes out her underwear and puts them on herself. When I pick her up in the afternoon, she has on the same pair of undies. She potties there ALL DAY. As soon as we get home, she has an "accident". I ask her every five minutes does she need to potty, she will even have a tantrum when I try to take her potty. My husband and I have no clue what to do. She tells us when she wets her diaper or has a BM. She is ready to wear panties, but she will NOT for us at home. Now my mother in law, she does fine with her, but for me, my husband, or my mother, you can forget it. Please help.
This is clearly a control issue. Throw out the pull-ups completely. Be ready to clean up some messes but make her help to clean it up! Once she has to clean up the poop and pee a few times, she may decide it is better to go on the potty all the time. You might talk to her teacher at day care and find out what she does at school. Does she tell the teacher when she needs to go or does the teacher put her on the potty at set times? Good luck.
I had problems potty training my daughter when she was that age as well. What we did was underwear during the day and pull ups at night. Even though they may be able to hold it and go accident free during the day doesn't mean that their bladders are ready for the all night thing. I started out by buying a bag of m&m's and gummie bears. Evertime she went pee pee on the potty she would get one piece of candy. Everytime she went poo poo she got two pieces of candy. Gradually i dropped that down to one piece per day. Also at first we made lots of phone calls. Calls to granparents, and aunts so they could do the happy dance (via the phone) when she went potty. She loved being praised by so many people for going on the potty. Eventually we stopped the candy, and told her that once she stayed dry at night for 1 month that she would get to go pick out a big girl bed. She stayed in a toddler bed and once she was dry we took her to Rooms2go and she picked out the bed she wanted for being a big girl. She is now 6 and we haven't had any problems with her.
Now with my son he was much easier. He took 1 week to get potty trained at home. We stayed at home all week in underwear. I would ask him if he needed to go potty every hour or so. When he would go he would get praised and we would do the happy dance. We also made up a potty chart and he would get to put a happy face sticker on it everytime he went potty. He still wears pull ups at night (turned 3 in October) but I know that eventually his bladder will control that and those will go away.
Good Luck!
well, i don't know if you'll quite agree with this, but it certainly worked for my little boy who was just 'too lazy' to get up from what he was doing, so he would just simply go in his undies wherever he was sitting. after a few times i decided to just 'rinse him off' in the COLD shower. it only took a few times of having that cold water hit him and he never had an accident again! cured. again, this might be a little much for you and that's fine. it worked for me. just a suggestion.
Have you tried a reward. I told my children that if they went a week without an accident then they could get something they wanted for my twins it was a cars dinner set and a tweety dinner set (they are girl and boy). I also used to keep a stash of gummy bears and give them one only when they went potty on the toilet. Make a big deal about the success and try real hard to ignore the mistakes. Children love attention whether it is negative or positive. I found bribery can get you anywhere!
It sounds to me like a control issue. Personally, I'd stop fighting her on it, act like it's a non-issue. When she has an "accident", act like it's no big deal to you but SHE is going to have to clean up the mess herself. (With your supervision). This worked really well for my son when he was like this. He'd come tell me he'd peed/pooped himself, and I'd say, "ok, go stand in the tub and get undressed. Take your dirty clothes to the laundry--EW Stinky, huh? Now go get some clean clothes and get dressed. Oops, there's a puddle on the floor, you'll need to clean that up, come on, here's a towel...Now go put that in the laundry. Wow, that was a lot of work huh? If you went on the potty, you'd be back to playing 5 min ago. You should try to listen to your body better next time"
I don't know about your dd, but most 2 yr olds like to help with housework, so hopefully she won't balk at cleaning herself up. If my son would have done that, I probably would have made him stay in a (dry) tub until he changed, casually saying that if he wanted to stay messy that was fine, but he wasn't going to get pee all over the furniture/carpet. I think that probably would have worked pretty well.
Independant kids usually respond pretty well to natural consequences, which is what this is. IT's worth a try anyway!
S. one thing that I tried at home with my daughter was showing her the empty package of pullups and told her there weren't anymore. At first she didn't want to go either and I showed her how her baby doll would potty....... soon she didn't want the potty chair she had to use the big potty like mommy and her doll. For a few days she did wet her panties and kept asking for a pullup and checking to see if they were in the place we usually kept them and would demand a pull up. But I did not give in. Within a week she would go to the potty by herself and always yell Mom come see to show me that she was doing it by herself. After about a week and a half she would go without me asking her, with an occasional wet panties here and there. and for night time I did not put a pull up on her, I went ahead and bought necessary items to keep the mattress protected, because i knew if I pulled out a pull up for night time, then mommy has lied about no more pull ups being there. Hang in there!
throw away the diapers. keep pull ups for bedtime, but that's it. i guarantee that as soon as she has to throw away her favorite pair of underwear she will know you mean business.
I am having the opposite problem...my 2 yr old does great at home, but doesnt go at all at daycare (mainly the daycare's fault if you ask me) But, the type of reward we use at home is a "Potty Piggy" My daughter loves to play with change (quarters,nickels, dimes, pennies) So..we bought a little piggy bank and painted it. Everytime she goes in the potty she gets to "Feed the piggy" (gets money to put in the piggy bank). Once she is fully potty trained she will get to take that money and go buy a special treat of her choice. My mom has even offered to match her on whaever she has in there at the end of potty training. It has been the only thing so far that has worked for us. Good Luck!
I would ask the day care workers how they "coax" her to use the potty. Maybe they use a different type of potty chair that she prefers.
I think that it is a way of getting attention from you. You work every day and that is the only time she gets you and if you think about, it probably isn't but a couple of hours a night. Now, it is the wrong attention but she doesn't know that. I think if it were mine I would try coming home and sitting with her and doing just exactly what she wanted to do... the attention on her continuously and see what happens. If you have to cook, then pull her up a chair to stand it and give her something to do to help and praise and praise her. See if that helps or what kind of reaction you get from that.
My child does better if my husband and I are together. You could try a family time every second that you are home and if nothing else, just make a sandwhich and have a picnic on the floor with her. It may take a while, it won't stop over night, but see what happens. If that doesn't work.... I don't have a clue.
I agree with some of the responses that "bribery will get you anywhere" but at the same time, she needs to feel the accomplishment of being a "big girl." You have a 4 yr old boy and he is a "big boy." If you let him do "big boy" stuff and your daughter sees that it may encourage her by telling her, "oh, I am sorry, you can only do that if you are a big girl and would potty ALL the time...at day care AND home and not have accidents...once you do that at home me and Daddy will let you start doing big girl things also." I have a 4 year age difference between my oldest 2 (all 3 of mine are girls) so this is something that really works in our household. Find something her brother gets to do that she REALLY likes...that is your "money" and "pay" her when she accomplishes what you want to "buy"!
On the same token, take responsibility for some of her accidents, like on a long trip, say, "I am sorry, that is mama's fault, we were in such a hurry, I forgot to let you do the rule [go to the bathroom before/after you leave and/or start an activity]
The other advise of letting her clean up after herself worked for us too. I went so far as to make her clean her cloths from start to finish, though. Not only put them in the laundry after cleaning after herself, but told her which button to turn on washer/dryer and fold and put the clothes up as well. It took 2 days of this (with a scowl on my face while she completed the tasks as to not make it fun). Of course there will be set backs and true accidents, but depending upon each individual circumstance, they will subside.
I am so glad you sent this...I am not responding to give advice because I have a similar problems with my 2 year old girl...I cannot wait to here the responses. I wish I could help but know you are not the only one going through this.
I am a 38 year old working mom of a 26 month old girl
I too would talk with the daycare to see what they are doing? Chair? Reward? Also I would say just be consistant. She knows you aren't so that is why she does it. Let her use the bathroom on herself and leave her in them for a while. BIGGEST KEY IS TO BE CONSISTANT!!! Let her know that you will not give in!!! Keep us posted on your success!
