Potty Training a Boy - Florida,NY

Updated on February 16, 2015
C.A. asks from Florida, NY
11 answers

My son is 3 yrs old and we are having trouble potty training. Last March he showed interest and was doing well. He would ask to use the potty. Then he just stopped. So the pediatrician told us to give it time and try again. Now he screams when we try to use the potty. When we praise him he screams and cries. He loves Thomas the train so we bought him Thomas underwear thinking he would use the potty so he can wear them. He wears them all right....he puts them on over his diaper! He will be starting preschool in September and needs to be potty trained or he cant go. I tried potty charts, rewarding him with little things, even his sister tries to encourage him to use the potty to no avail. Does anyone have any advice on how to make him feel thats its ok to go in the potty? My daughter was so easy to train but my son seems to rebel. He goes in with us and is eager to flush but when its time for him to use it he screams. He wont use a little potty but does show interest in the big potty. He has a cars potty seat. Do you think we should take him and let him pick out another seat? He still wears diapers and hates to be wet now. Not sure what to do and would appreciate and advice you can give me. Thank you :)

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for the advice. Today was a good day. HE actually asked to go to the potty but mommy had to take him. Both times he went and he himself cheered! His thomas the train pull ups stayed pretty dry. I am so proud of him and there was no pressure from us. We will take it pretty slow so that he doesnt feel pressured. Thanx again.

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N.C.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I put my son in underwear and let him have accidents in them, I know it sounds very dumb but he didn't like the feeling of of it in his underwear I think it's a different feeling then in a diaper, he was also very against his potty chairs we had gotten him, but I would tell him everytime he went in his diaper or underwear he wouldn't need diapers if he went in his potty I also put potty chairs everywhere! We had them in the living room, bathroom and bedroom/ playroom, with 2 weeks he was potty trained! Hope this helps soif it's not good advice

4 moms found this helpful

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

"So the pediatrician told us to give it time and try again."

Try doing that.

6 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

september is almost a year away. that's eons for tiny person like your son.
let him be. i'm not sure how more clear he can be.
khairete
S.

5 moms found this helpful
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M.T.

answers from New York on

September is 6 1/2 months away, I wouldn't worry about preschool at this point, that is a very long time from now.

No, you don't need to buy him a potty seat with different decorations. I trained both of my kids to the regular toilet, never used a potty. If he hates being wet, then he knows what he has to do. He can't wear diapers if you don't keep diapers in the house and don't diaper him. It's time for underwear only, and if he hates being wet, he'll figure out to quit peeing himself.

I never did little charts and presents, never made a big deal over it. I just started taking them to the bathroom regularly every hour or two. I treated it like expected behavior when my kids were turning three, and not something they could choose to do or not, if they felt like praise and a present or not.

Don't make it a fight, just don't make it a choice. Otherwise, keep him in diapers and forget the underwear and the toilet for a few months.

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

This sounds Oh, so familiar. Give him time; he isn't ready. We eventually resorted to bribery using Hershey kisses and he finally "got" it in a nano-second when he was really close to 4. My son was just "too busy" to stop and take the time...he might have "missed something".

Find another preschool that will work with him if he isn't...my son had turned 3 a month before starting preschool and he wasn't potty trained and they were ok with it...and they worked with him and us.

Don't worry, he won't go to kindergarten in his pullups

Good luck

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Z.B.

answers from Toledo on

Kids are different, so I wouldn't waste too much energy comparing your son and daughter. My kids experiences were completely different. Same was true for my sister's kids and my brother's kids.

My son trained in June one year. We had a two week break between his first year of preschool and a summer activity, so I decided it was a good time to do this. I gave him lots and lots of fluids to help him need to pee. I also too advantage of the warm weather and summer clothing - easier to remove quickly. For me it meant not leaving the house for a few days and getting rid of all diapers (still had pull-ups for naps and bed). The first couple of days were tough with lots of messes to clean up. Turns out the first thing most kids have to learn is what it feels like to have to pee. Our son had to learn that by peeing and realizing that he had peed. He had to make that connection. Once he had, it didn't take long.

I did bribed him to sit on the potty. Nothing special about it. I did put it in the living room in front of the tv. I had to bribe him the first couple of mornings. After that I had him sit on the potty every 30-45 minutes and rewarded him after he peed. That only lasted a few days. After that he was good to go, except for a few accidents here and there.

Sounds like you might be trying too hard right now. He seems overwhelmed. Maybe you could back off a little and think of some more low key ways to support him.

He will get this ... He has lots of time before Sept.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

It sounds a bit like he's been overwhelmed by the whole potty business and is sending you the message he's not interested. I tended to wait until my kids were good and ready before embarking on potty training. You don't really want to drag it out - it's better to do it all in one go, and get them from diapers to underpants quickly. So if he's not there yet fully - leave him be I would say. No huge rush. He obviously can where he's gone in the past - this is him saying "stop rushing me".

When I did my boys, I simply took them out of diapers, put potties nearby to wherever they were so they could quickly go if needed, and I didn't make a huge fuss. We didn't do rewards. We just treated it as "it's time to use the potty". We gave positive reinforcement (like yay!) but nothing over the top. I think sometimes when we make it into this big deal, they feel pressured.

I know some people use rewards and charts and stars and it works great for them - we are pretty basic here, and I'm too lazy quite frankly (busy mom) so I preferred waiting till I knew they were ready, and made it quick. The thing is, if you just put them in underwear, and they do wet themselves, they quickly learn it's not such a nice feeling and go for the potty next time. But the key to our success was I had multiple potties. I always had one nearby because boys get busy and forget to go.

After they'd mastered that, they used the regular toilet with a potty seat on top.

Good luck :) you have plenty of time!

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

When it warms up take his diaper off and let him go commando outside while playing. He'll get the feeling of the pee and pooh and won't like it running down his legs. Well, he might like it a lot and then finally figure out he can sink the ship, sink the circles, sink all sorts of things in the toilet when he's facing it.

Sit him on the toilet facing the back when ever you get him naked for a bath. This helps him get used to standing facing the tank.

Take a sheet of Toilet Paper and a sharpie. Draw small boats on that sheet and then cut it into smaller squares. Tell him he can have an M&M if he sinks the ship. Put off brand Cheerios in the water and tell him to sink the circles/lifesavers/etc....and he can have an M&M.

Tell him he makes poop in the toilet he can have 2 M&M's. We did this and it was an instant gratification thing. Didn't have to wait. When he wanted C. he'd go do something in the toilet to get a single jelly bean or a single M&M.

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

My way M. not be the best way, but we go without pants at home and clean up accidents if they happen, and give C. as rewards (a gummy bear for every #1 or #2 on the potty). There is also lots of cheering and high fives, and no angry words or frustration shown on our part (even when cleaning up an accident).

I hope you can figure out a solution that works for your little guy!

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sounds like he's feeling pressure.
It might make sense in 6 more months development wise.
I would try again in July (better August but I know you are trying for Sept.)
Then you take 3 days where you don't go anywhere.
You take him to the potty & have him try let's say after he has something
to drink waiting about 30-40 minutes.
While being home for those 3 days (say F-Sun night), you have a potty
nearby.
After the first day, you throw a mini party telling him he did a good job
using the potty.
Second day, same thing ending in a tiny party w/your family & a little toy
treat. I even decorated the kitchen.
Third day (of not going anywhere & taking him to the potty to try every
hour or so), bigger party w/your family, cupcakes & a little wrapped present.
The staying home makes it easier for bathroom accessibility
Also, don't get mad when he has accidents, just quietly change him.
Get him a toilet insert & small step stool.

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C.C.

answers from Orlando on

He is not ready. Back off for a couple of weeks, take the pressure off of him.
I have two boys and neither was easy. One did well with a calendar hung in the bathroom. He would get stickers when he went pee or poo and when he accumulated enough(say 10 or 20 in a week), he would get to go pick out a Thomas train. That motivated him and did I mention we have HUNDREDS of Thomas Trains?? But, hey, it worked. My second son this did not work for. I still did the calendar thing as it helps you keep track of their progress. He went very inconsistently the first 2 months. Then was better the 3rd month and 4th. Still took another 2 months after that and this was 2 months after his 3rd Birthday before I considered him "trained" We were traveling on the road with my husband for spring break last year and I just told the 3 year old, "you are in big boy underpants, if you need to go tell us and we will find a place to stop." I thought strange bathrooms would be a problem, but he did great the whole week. Not one accident. He had to pee on the side of the road once as we were in the middle of nowhere, but he thought that was hilarious. I pushed him this little bit as I knew he could tell when he had to go, he was just being lazy about it and would ask for a Pull up at home if he had to go.
When you feel he is ready again, you can try to put his underwear on first and put the Pull Up OVER the underpants. This way he feels the uncomfortable wetness, and the mess is contained for you.
Good luck and don't let it become a struggle. It is too frustrating for him and you.

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