Potty Training a Boy! - West Point,NY

Updated on February 12, 2008
L.G. asks from Leavenworth, KS
13 answers

Help!! My son will be three in April. We have been "actively" potty training for 2+ weeks now. He has been doing very well with it. However, lately we can have a dry day and then the next we can have 3+ accidents. He doesn't want to stop playing to use the potty and he refuses to use a potty outside our home. He won't wear diapers or pullup and has been in underwear since we started. He gets embarrassed when he makes a mess, but it doesn't seem to stop him. Any suggestions for training a stubborn little one?!

Thanks!!

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the tips. Boys truely are harder to train than girls! Apparently I was spoiled when my oldest daughter breezed through this procress. Rewards (charts, etc) work well for him. I expect accidents here and there, but it is not OK for him to do great one day and the next act like he never saw a toilet before!

We took away his main distration (Leapster LMax) and will give it back to him once he has 2 dry days. Amazingly, we've already had our first dry day. I know that he won't go to college wetting his pants, but boy is this a challenge!!

Thanks again.....its helpful to know that I'm not the only one banging my head against a wall!

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C.R.

answers from Syracuse on

do not worry, it takes time! I have trained 4 little boys so far and they were all different, for my oldest son...I had a special place for him to put the toy he was playing with so his little brothers wouldn't take the toy while he was on the potty...also watch the clock...I'm willing to bet the accidents happen around the same time when they happen, my 4th little boy pee's @ 10:30 every morning, so @ 10:00 I would take him and the accidents stopped....goodluck!

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N.H.

answers from Rochester on

it takes about 9 months to fully potty train.

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K.N.

answers from New York on

My son just turned 3 in December and we are still having the potty training battle. He does the exact same thing. When he is at daycare, we have a perfectly dry day. When he is home, we have accidents because he won't stop playing. We started making a little game of it and it seems to be helping. We challenge him to a race to see who will go first and he always wants to win. He's starting to see that even after he goes to the potty he still gets to go back and play. My husband and I just have to make sure we keep an eye on the time and make sure we ask him before the accident.

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C.B.

answers from New York on

Hi L.,

I had the same trouble with my son using toilets outside the home. I carried a screw-top bottle and I take him to the restroom to use it. I can then empty into the potty and flush. It's an individual sized plastic juice bottle and has a wider opening than the water bottles. That worked quite well, and he has gradually become more able to use restrooms. He did want to use it at home, I was very firm about the fact that it was only for outside the house, and he once peed on the floor when I said no to using the bottle. After that, no problems I also have a cushioned folding seat called Cushie Traveler

http://pottytrainingsolutions.com/product_info.php?cPath=...

I thought would be good for travel. He took to it and it's what he uses at home (for BMs). I bought a pack of disposable seats called Zeets. (folding cardboard that covers the whole seat, great if you are worried about germs)

http://pottytrainingsolutions.com/product_info.php?produc...

About wetting, I did not have that problem, but I think I just lucked out. I think the best thing you can do is not shame or punish, but rather describe it as an accident and don't make a big fuss. Also, you could try reminding him that the fun will be waiting for him when he comes back!

All the best,
C.

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L.A.

answers from New York on

OK I got this advice from a teacher....
absolutley no pull ups
either diapers or underwear, if he doesnt want to wear a diaper then he must go on the potty. this worked for me.
also, in order to stop him from playing have you tried a "potty" chart?
this was a great incentive for my son
as far as not going outside your house, they make a great collapsible portable potty that you basically put plastic bags in that might help

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M.H.

answers from New York on

I started with my son the day he turned 3. He didn't get the hang of it and had accidents almost every day till he turned 4. The main thing, no matter girl or boy, is consistency. When they are learning just be firm and re-explain that you go on the potty...and bring them into the potty and put them on whether they've had accidents or not. And after they know what is expected and how to do it, but just forget to go, there can be some kind of small punishment like 2 minute time out or something because it can turn into a direct defiance issue. Sometimes they just want to test you and see if they really will get in trouble. But the main thing....again, just be consistent. Whatever routine for potty time works for your son keep it up and don't get discouraged. I've heard it takes 3 days, to 2 wks to months and even a year, like us. So keep at it. You will both get the hang of it and you will do fine.

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A.P.

answers from New York on

Good luck!! My son will be 3 in February and has been potty trained since June (he got it right away!) but he still have inconsistent days where he will have accidents, I have no idea why. If I see its one of those days, I set my kitchen clock and remind physically take him to the potty every 15 minutes, that drives him nuts. I tell him that if he didn't have the accident in his pants I wouldn't have to interrupt his play time. It seems to work!!!

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A.S.

answers from New York on

My 5 year old son STILLdoesn't want to stop playing to go potty. However, he makes it at the last possible second now. We had a couple washable incontinence pads, from a medical supply store, that we would put under him when he played at home. Often we would let him play without any bottoms on, too. I know it doesn't work for all kids, but what really worked great for us was a Shrek calendar and some cool stickers. One sticker every day without any accidents. When he had a bunch of dry days, he got a pre-determined big toy (for us it was 40 days and a Star Wars Lego X Wing fighter). Once he decided he didnt' want to wear diapers to bed at night, we did the same thing. I would start out with a sticker, calendar and decide together on a small toy or other special treat that he will get after 3, 4, 5 days to give him the idea. Good luck!

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S.M.

answers from Buffalo on

No kid is going to stop playing and go to the potty after training for 2 or 3 weeks. YOU have to put the child on the potty every hour or hour and a half for quite sometime. Soon, change it to just saying, "Potty Time" and having your boy go to the potty. Then giving out stickers or rewards for whenever your boy tells you he has to go. It's a process that takes awhile.

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H.L.

answers from Syracuse on

I didn't believe my doctor when he said that children will be potty training when they are ready. When my son was not quite 2 1/2 I took a week off of work and worked with him; we sat on the potty, read books etc. I tried to make it relaxing and all I got at the end of the week was frustrated! We continued to work with him and I would say literally one day about three months before he turned three, he decided one day that he was going in the potty. From then on, he wore underwear and slept overnight without accidents (not that we didn't have them from time to time). It always amazed me too how he could be so wrapped up in playing that he would rather go in his pants than get to the potty! I truly believe that he will come around in his own time (probably more than 2 weeks worth!)
He is not three yet; he is still pretty young. I don't think we can expect them to go like adults immediately. You can expect accidents; it is all part of him learning what his body is telling him. Good luck!

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S.O.

answers from Glens Falls on

I was struggling to potty train my daughter when a friend mentioned to me that her mother told her that it was up to her to set a schedule for potty training. It was as if a light-bulb went off for me! I was expecting my daughter to tell me when she had to go, but sometimes she was so involved in what she was doing that she forgot to tell me until it was too late. I started telling her every hour it was time to go potty..."Come on, let's go to the potty!" Most of the time she said no, but when she really had to, off we went. She was potty trained in three days with only about three accidents in the following month and not one again since. Hang in there, it will happen!

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J.M.

answers from New York on

I empathize with both of you actually. I hate using public bathrooms. I think the most useful piece of advice I got when potty training my son was to be patient and not to stress him out. It's a process that just takes time and the last thing you want to do is to turn it into an adversarial stand-off between the two of you. Take a deep breath when he misses the mark and clap like hell when he does use the potty. He'll get it eventually. Trust me.

J.

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T.G.

answers from New York on

This seems to be a common problem among friends - with both boys and girls. Who wants to run to the bathroom when you are playing - you might miss something. My son took 2 days to potty train at just before 2 1/2. I think it was because he was ready. He initiated it. We just made sure at the beginning we took him to the bathroom every 2 hours. And make potty time fun. throw in cheerios, get a magnet/sticker for each time you ASK to go potty.if it's fun for you it will be fun for them. Good luck. and remember, some boys don't start using the potty till they are 4. You are already way ahead of the game.

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