Potty Training a 2 and a Half Year Old Boy!

Hi. This is just how I trained my two boys, although there are many methods. I let them run around with nothing on their bottom half. They'll be sitting down to play, realize they have to go, and not want to pee where they play. Bad analogy, but kind of like a dog won't go where they sleep. It teaches them to know what's going on with their body. You'll have a couple messes to clean up, but then they learn the proper place to go so as not to make a mess. My first son never had an accident. Sometimes a little pee would come out while he was running to the bathroom, but other than that, this method worked perfectly. My other son will be 3 in March and he's almost completely potty-trained. He is a little more stubborn. He's made puddles quite a few times, but after a little while he learned to hold it until he could get to the bathroom. This is just what worked for me and it's really easy. You don't have to do any bribing or coaxing. My friend uses gummy bears, but she has an easy little girl. Good luck!

It sounds to me like he's not ready. I would stop, wait a couple of months, and then try again. Children have to be ready to learn potty training, or it's useless to even try. Good luck! :)

He probably is still a baby. I have 2 boys - they are slow w/ the potty training thing & the more you push it, the more resentment there will be. Lay off for awhile & don't force it. I don't know of many boys that learn before 3. Besides, it's not like they won't learn it some day. You're time is better spent reading to him or something productive. Everyone eventually learns to go to the bathroom, not everyone can read very well.

This is not uncommon for boys to take their time to use the potty...sounds like he's getting alot of pressure and attention for this...I'd let it happen organicly...and it will. Getting sick does put kids back to square one if the behavior is a new one...he'll get it when HE's ready and not before.

M. (pre-school teacher and nanny for a long time!)

I would not push it, he senses that it is a big thing to you, my advice is for you to take a break from it until the summer months. children are less keen to wear a diaper when it is hot.
Kids tend to do it when they are ready and boys are usually later than girls.
my daughter was potty trained in the daytime at 3 and my son day and night by 2.
Also when you do go for it again make sure you do night and day at the same time.

Hi Tonya,

You could try putting cheerios or froot loops in the toilet and telling him it's a new game, called sink the cereal. tell him to aim for the cereal and sink them. if he does do it, you could reward him with a movie or something special that he likes. This worked for me and I hope it will help you. Good Luck

A. M

Hi T.,
I also have a 2 and a half year old son who has no interest in potty training either. From all the advice I have received, the best thing to do is just let it go for now. You don't want it to turn into a battle of the wills because then it will be a negative experience. Most boys are potty trained later than girls so around the age of 3 I am sure you will have more success. I would keep asking him if he wants to use the potty but if he says no, leave it at that. Good luck.

Hi T.. I don't know if I can offer any help. I have 3 daughters and 3 granddaughters! I saw something once in a magazine about using fruit loops or some colorful cereal.... kind of like a target. J.

T.,
Here is a game that worked well with my granddaughter who did not want to use a potty. I took a sheet of toilet paper and drew an animal or funny face on it with a magic marker. I would put it in the potty chair and when she wet on it, it would become fuzzy, as if it was growing hair. She thought it was funny and really liked using the potty after that.
C.

T.: I have 3 daughters & 1 son (who, at 37, is fully potty-trained, thank you, Lord, I thought it would never happen!). When my kids were grown up I found out that boys are more difficult to train than girls, plus their sphincter muscle (the signal-to-go place) takes longer to mature for boys than for girls. So, when at 2 1/2 he was "reluctant", I put a cloth diaper & plastic (?) pants on him, since he was still a "baby"... this was uncomfortable to him when he wet, and worse when he had a bowel movement... pretty soon he'd run to me saying, "pamper, pamper" when he had to go, to avoid the discomfort and I'd take THAT as my cue to put him on the potty. It eventually worked.

I agree with Alexis. I am apart of a mother's group with about 10 other moms. ALL of the boys did not start potty training until they were at least three. Don't let it stress you out just stop for a while and I would wait until he turns 3 or so and then try again. The less stressed you can be (which I know is hard) the better. Good luck. Another idea I heard is when you do try and he doesn't like the underwear, is put underwear on and then the pull up, so they get the wet and poopy feel but you are stuck cleaning up the mess. :)

My advice is to stop any talk or action on potty training for a few weeks - - even a month. You are now in a power struggle with him and you could be in for a long and painful potty training. If you wait until they are good and ready - - a little more like 2 3/4 or even 3... it can be very easy. I potty trained both of my boys in a weekend. After that it was all underwear during the day - just asking them to go every 2hrs. I advise holding off on nighttime training until they consistently have dry diapers. Just do the "go potty before bed"... and wait for the dry diapers to be consistent. Best of luck and wishes of patience to you!

There is a book out that is called potty train in one day, I can't remember the author but you can find it at the libary (so you don't have to buy it, you only need it for one day). My sister talked me into it for my 3rd son she wanted imput from someone who had already potted trained. It takes a whole day just with you and your son no company coming over it helps if dad can stay the whole day but mom or dad has got to be there all day. But hey worked for us dad went golfing so I did the training, it was a long day but compared to weeks of wet pants I would pick this way any day, it work for my 4th a girl also. Important to know if your child is ready or not but that is explained in the book. Good Luck, C. M My kids are now 18, 16, 13, 11yrs old. oh yea it should be fun not a pain, I also put little fish at the bottom of the toilet bowl to give the boys something to aim for bath tub decals work great for this, just plug out all of the water and stick them at the bottom they even hold up over years of cleaning.

Hi T.,
We had alot of trouble potty training too. It sounds like your boy is strong willed, like ours. We tried one of those potty chairs that plays music when they pee. Didn't work. We tried rewards, stickers, didn't work. Finally, my husband and I switched and he worked with him. It took 2 weeks and we found out that he wanted water in his toilet like the big toilet has. Who would have guessed! I don't know if it was my husband teaching him or it was later and he was ready to learn. Your son seems to know what is expected of him, he just won't do it, like ours. When the pressure was off, and it was up to him to decide, he did it.
I've also heard of parents refusing to put on pull-ups or anything. Telling the child that he has to use the toilet or soil himself.
He'll start doing it eventually, especially if he's in school or somewhere without his parents.

I went through potty training with two boys that are now 23 and 20 years, but it is still vivid as they didn't want any part of it either. My oldest son sounds a lot like your story. What I found worked was to find what motivated them and use that as a tool. i.e my oldest son would cry and fight me about potty training, so I let up on him. When summer came along, I told him that diapers were not allowed in the pool. He wanted to swim, so he took the diaper off and would go in the potty during swimming time. It didn't take long after that for him to get the hang of it all of the time. After a few weeks of really good performance, he got intestinal flu...need I say more? We had to start all over again. But it was not as much work the second time. He was confused at first, but after about a week or two, he was back to not wearing diapers anymore.
My daughter wanted to wear pretty lacy panites and promised that she would go in the big potty if I let her wear them.
My youngest son just wanted to spend time with his older brother so I would let them go at the same time.... fun game for them and got him to the potty with no problem.
What ever motivates them, find that one thing and that will be half the battle.
Don't get me wrong. It is a messy job and there are accidents. But as long as the child is working with you, then you are on the road.

coming from mom of 2 let him try there is lot thing to try for my son is 4 and he broke at 3 but if he trying let him try it wont hurt i just let mine sit as along as he wanted

An old friend who also ran a child care out of her home, told me that she trained her own kids who were potty training by having them wear big, long t-shirts and nothing else for the day. Their bottoms and privates were covered, but the first time they pottied and it ran down their legs was usually the start of them going in the bathroom. Try telling your son that you ran out of diapers and he has to wear this big shirt until you get some. My friend had 2 boys and a girl and she swears that they were potty trained in 2 days.

T., I too have a 2 and 1/2 year old and we were doing great going #2 on the potty -- and working on that, but then he just stopped. We had a potty chart, prizes, stickers, etc...and he just stopped this month. Back to diapers. He doesn't want the pull ups and we figured out that he doesn't have the "reflex" yet to know when he has to pee. It is there for the pooping, but not pee. I was talking to other moms and found out that boys do much better at peeing in the potty when they are 3, as girls are more ready at 2 and 1/2. So we have backed off completely and decided to try again when he turns 3.
Jenn H.

Most people said to wait, if you don't want to do that i suggest that you really look into trying different types of underwear. If he says that they hurt try boxers (that also is a big motivator when they have an accident because it is much more uncomfortable) and patience and consistancy is most important.

Maybe he's just not ready for potty training yet. I tried to decide when my oldest child was ready and it just didn't work, it became a battle, so I just stopped for about a month or two and then one day, she showed interest. After that it just came naturally. For my youngest (a boy) I just waited until he showed interest, which was slightly after his third birthday. I kept the potty chair out and talked about it alot, but didn't force the issue. Eventually it will come, don't despair!

It has to be his idea. Don't push it and let it drop for now. Tell him by him being a baby if that is what he is, early bedtimes, no big boy treats, get some baby toys out and take away his other toys and tell him that he has to play with baby toys if he is one. He is doing power plays with you and winning obviously. Nothing makes a parent more irratated then when they call our bluff like saying they are still a baby, I know! :) Just let it go. My son at 2 1/2 could have cared less. Two months after his third bday I made a great sticker chart and he wanted this specific toy. I told him then he had to earn it. In two weeks he got like 30 stickers!!! Then it was done, I got him some big boy underwear and after that it was really done. He had two accidents in the course of three months and now I am happy to say since October, not one accident, in underwear at night. It was HIS idea not mine and I just didn't push it other then if he wanted this "big boy toy" he had to earn it with stickers and going on the potty. He was so proud of himself.
Just don't make it about "you" wanting your son, all kids do these things at their pace and he will play you for power and it will never get resolved if you push. Good luck and be patient!

Good Morning T. -

Instead of letting the frustration get to both of you, sit down and talk with your son. Ask him why he wants to be a baby. Ask him when he thinks he should become a "big boy." He may have seen or heard something that frightened him about being a "big boy." Toddler boys identify with their genitals and if someone (another child) was playing around and told him anything about underwear, or potty training - he is going to take that literally. Children up to the age of 5-6 have not developed the capability to understand the difference between "joking around" and "telling the truth." Give him a chance to explain himself and above all do not tell him that whatever it is that's bothering him is "silly" or "stupid" or anything else that might be considered a put down. He will take your explanation with him for many, many years to come.

M. M. Ernsberger
Mind-Body Therapist
Master Hypnotherapist
Certified Herbalist
www.hypno4kids.com
www.wellnessgardening.com

T.,

He may just not be ready yet. Every child is different. This is one thing they can control and will!! Especially at 2 yrs old. :) Don't get discouraged. He will do it when he's ready and, I promise he won't be graduating H.S. in a diaper (or going to Kindergarten for that matter). I know diapers are a pain and by now YOU are ready to stop changing them, but don't push him and wait until HE'S ready.

If you are intent on getting him to do it now, let him pick out the underwear. When they are special, it may be a big deal to get them dirty. Also, my son picked out Spiderman underwear and the first time he pooped in them I let him watch me throw them away. He loves Spiderman and was upset - but never pooped in any other ones!

Good luck!
C.

he is only 2 1/2! The avg. age is around 3-31/2. Don't push him. He will do it on his own time.

Hi T.. He is definitely NOT ready yet. Don't be in a rush to potty train him. My son didn't potty train until after he turned 3. It seriously took 24 hours to train him once he decided he was ready. It was completely easy and stress free at that point. Good luck!

2.5 years is early for a boy... 3 - 3.5 is alot more common....

don't stress and don't force it...he will do it when he is ready

all will work out just fine...just be patient

Hang in there. It doesn't sound like he's ready. It will happen eventually. I know nothing worked with our niece. At 3 1/2 she was still proud to wear pullups. One day she decided she didn't want to anymore, and that was the end. It'll happen for you, too!

Yep, what they said. I pushed my son too much when he was 2 (family members urged me to get him potty trained, I was a new mom, what did I know...yeah, right!). We struggled for YEARS and he wasn't fully potty trained until he was well past 5yrs old! So I would back off for now and take your cues from him. Trust me, he will get potty trained eventually.

I have three boys, 2 that are potty trained. It sounds like your boy isn't ready yet. My oldest 2 weren't potty trained until 3 and I am waiting on my youngest who is almost 2. I tried for over a year with my first. It was a constant battle. Then a little after he turned three he suddenly got it. I had a similar experience with my second. I didn't push as hard but about a week after he turned three he decidied he wanted to wear underwear and has rarley had an accident since. From my experience, pushing harder won't get results. When he is ready he will do it on his own.

He might not be mentally ready. I would just leave it alone for a while. If you push him and he isn't ready it can take even longer. Leave his potty out and if he wants to go he will but I wouldn't even bring it up to him for a week or two and then start over.

I have 4 boys and they have told me the same thing about boys underwear 'tighty whities' that they pinch, hurt, etc...

My boys mow wear boxer briefs and boxers, they fit better, don't seem to be too tight on the legs and they like them better, they come with designs on them up to size 14, so you can still get desings on them too.

Let your son pick out his own design of them and let him try them, the key is to let him thnk "he" decided when "he" wanted to, to be potty trained. You and your husband should take some afternoon outings and leave him with grandma and let him know that only 'big boys' get to go to the places you are going, museum, childrens play place, movies, etc.

AND, the easiest most favorite place for my boys to pee...outside! not kidding, I think that is why I had such an easy time training, they we all potty trained by the time they were 2

I am a mother of 2 little boys. The best advice I can give you is to stop pushing and let your child tell you when he is ready. Both of my boys waited until they were 3 and were ready overnight. Be patient and don't push. It is a battle you will never win!

Hi...After reading your post I realized you said you spend all your time with him, but you work full time. So if you work a regular day, then most of his awake time you are not with him and I'll assume he's in some sort of day care? When you're not there, who is taking care of him and how do they handle it? Having been a single parent I also had to work, but I had the fortune of having my parents who adored him and fortunately lived around the corner, as his care takers when I worked. He trained extremely easily and was completely trained within a month of becoming 2. An at home parent is always the best for everyone, especially the children, but that's not always an option. Having a set back, like getting sick, or a major change, vacation, etc often set kids back. Don't make a big deal out of it when he doesn't use the potty, but make a great deal of how proud you are when he does. You seem to be right on the track with the stickers. Maybe so many stickers and a prize? Something he really wants or wants to do? Give him a goal.

Bottom line...all kids have their own clock. When they (and you) stress over it, it only prolongs it. You sound like you're doing a great job, so keep it up and good luck! It will happen!

I've seen a lot of people struggle with potty training. My first son started pre-school when he was just over three, so he had to be potty trained by then. However, I did the same as you and tried to start him when I was ready (key word "I"). It didn't work. We'd go good for awhile and then back slide. Finally he started showing interest, but only with my dad. We went with that for awhile, and eventually we got it. The key was to let him start when he was ready, not the rest of us. The professional advice I've read/heard seem to echo those same words. I would suggest not pushing the issue. I can bet that he won't be wearing diapers to Kindergarten! My oldest is now nearing 5. We've been potty trained for a couple of years now (the poop thing took much longer than the pee thing so be forwarned!), but he still has a hard time wiping his bottom. I don't mind doing it becuase I would prefer that over having a mess across his rear! However, if I don't let him figure it out, he WILL be calling for help once he starts Kindgarten next fall. Best of luck and hang in there!

Hello T.,

I understand how you feel I was determined to get my 2 year old potty trained before my second child was born. My son was potty trained by 2 years and 3 months. The first thing I did was cut drinks down a lot. I would only give him 4 ozs at a time. If you give them more than that they can't hold it. Then I put him on the potty every 20 mintues no matter what, whether he had to go or not so he could get used to it. I also made him take his own pants off and get on the potty himself ( if he can't take his pants off and on by himself, he is probably not ready to be potty trained, my son could put all of his clothes on by 2). After a few weeks of this, he was able to get it himself. He had it down pat! He would tell me when he had to go. Some other things I did that help make him into a big boy is I let him pick out the underweaar of his favorite CARS characters and spider man and it made all the difference. Everytime he said he was a baby I gave him baby toys and took all the big boy stuff away. He was only allowed to do baby stuff when he said he was a baby. Believe me it was only like one day of that and he never really said it again. Again the only reason I pushed it a little was I expecting another baby and I couldn';t afford to have 2 children in diapers. The problems you said you are having I had them to, he called my bluff, but it all worked out in the. Just make sure he is ready, if he doesn't understand you are going to waste ur time.

Hello T....My daughter didn't use the potty until she was a few months over three, and not for lack of trying. We tried everything. I learned that when they are ready, they will choose to use the potty. I do not know if there is any trick to it. We tried M & M's for a while and that was some help, but it was really just when she decided she was ready. Good luck!

AK