Potty Training - Orinda,CA

Hi Stephanie,

Yeah, it's amazing how a child can go from completely potty trained, then to pooping in their pants.

Some will say it is due to constipation, painful poops, etc... but truthfully, my son didn't have anything like that and he had the same behavior. He was embarrassed by it, and cried with each "accident" due to the sorrow, so I knew he couldn't handle me getting upset with him.

I decided to have him help me clean him, and showed him the "right way" (without backing up the toilet). I made one of the bathroom cupboards contained with every item needed just for this emergency.

After a few times of helping him, I then told him that it was his turn to clean himself. I told him that he was 4, and getting ready to go to the big school, it was tme he learned how to take care of himself. So, with every ounce of will-power, I did not help him clean himself. Amazing, he didn't cry for me to help him, because he KNEW he was big enough to handle this situation.

After a few times cleaning himself, then it began to stop. Sure there would be a little accident from "waiting too long", but that was nothing!

Try not to show anger or frustration, and you should move through it pretty quickly :O)

Good Luck!

~N. :O)

Just be consistant and take him frequently like when you were training him initially. If he messes his pants make him clean himself and his pants at first in the poilet then havev him wash them by hand in the sink. YUou can throw them in the laundry after that but it should deter him a bit when he has to clean it all up.

It is normal for him to regress a little. Don't make too big a deal out of it bcause he will continue to do it. Re-train him to poop in the potty again. Is anything stressful goingon in your house. sometimes changes cause kids to regress. Take care

Just put him back in pull-ups/diapers until he is able to wear big boy undies. My nephew (already past 4yo) is finally starting to go to the potty for business on both ends due to his finally not liking the ick on his bum, they think.

I've also read on here that it helps to make the kid clean himself up and pretty soon he'll decide it's easier to just wipe himself off on the toilet than to have to clean all that.

My son went through this also at around 3. He was constipated once and then after that he was scared to poop. I think that they are afraid that it will hurt. We had to make sure that he ate plenty of fruit, still do, so that he would not get constipated. Even though he did not get constipated again he was scared for a long time and would hold it as long as possible and then we would run him to the bathroom to make it. I would try talking to him about it and ease what ever fear he has. I don't think that this is testing you because nobody likes the feeling of poop in their pants and he is hiding to do it so he is somewhat embarassed. Sometimes it helps to find a motivation for him make a sticker chart and when he poops in the potty he gets a sticker and when he goes in his pants one comes off. No drama or yelling or disappointment just the way it is, and let him see his chart. Have a prize that he will be earning. With my son it was thomas I had a train sitting on top of the fridge so he could see it. Now my second son I couldn't have had it out where he could see it because it would have upset him that he couldn't have it right then so we did he earned trips to go get ice cream, use whatever works for you. Start it off so that he doesn't have to earn that many to get his first prize and then as he gets better at it make it so he has to earn more and eventually he won't need a chart. You can even start out where you don't take any off.
Good luck,
C.

I have to agree with the previous posting and say it probably has something to do with a painful pooping issue at some point that has made his regress a little. I know this is normal for many children at different stages, but there usually is a reason for it. My suggestions are some of the ones you've already gotten, like increased fruit and fiber for softer stools, and then putting him on the potty every 30 minutes to 1 hour, sort of like starting to potty train him all over again, until it resolves. I probably would try to stay away from any punishment at this point, because he's obviously struggling with this psychologically right now for some reason, and punishment will only do more damage. If, however, it continues after another 3 months or so of trying both of the above, it may be time for a little firm reminder every now and then in the form of a good swat or two when it happens. Good luck!

Have you tried talking to your son without judgment and asking him why he doesn't like to go poop on the potty? Don't project your own ideas by asking if he is scared or something like that. Just have a heart to heart? Maybe he has a reason and he can communicate it, since he is almost 4.

My son is 2 and was doing that for about a month. It drove us nuts! He really couldn't tell us why, but we just kept sitting him on the potty after we caught him grunting behind the couch. He mostly uses the potty now. Every so often he is a little constipated and he will go back to pooping in his nighttime diaper or underwear.