Potty Training - Chicago,IL

Updated on October 17, 2012
K.S. asks from Chicago, IL
10 answers

My son is 5 years old and autistic. He is mostly nonverbal. I cannot get him to use the pot. I sit him on it for hours and he does nothing. I even tried having my dad take him to the bathroom to stand over the toilet and he acts like he is afraid. He will not cooperate at all and I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any ideas that my help? Your feedback would be appreciated.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Well I don't know much about potty training in this realm, but I do know that the 2-day method was started to train older children with special needs, perhaps you could research some of those. Is he in school? You could also ask his teachers/aids/counselors what methods they know about too.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Potty training a neuro-typical kid is not always easy. A non-verbal autistic child is a whole different level of difficulty. Check out this link from AutismSpeaks - http://www.autismspeaks.org/site-wide/toilet-training

You CAN NOT force potty training on a child, it just doesn't work. It may not be that he "will" not but that he CANNOT cooperate. If you've ever stopped to REALLY pay attention to your body when you pee, and especially when you poop, you'll notice how many things are going on physically/sensory wise - for an autistic child, it's all potentially magnified. And the flushing alone is like the sound of a tidal wave to some kids.

You mentioned in a previous post that you are getting help and he is getting therapy. Let them know that pottying is an issue. Trying to "make" him do this isn't working - they need to give you strategies that will help the both of you.

If you have a chance, please watch the movie "Temple Grandin". She was diagnosed as autistic in 1951 - WAY before they understood it. She was not verbal till she was 4. She is now a Doctor of Animal Science. Her story is amazing, and may be the exception to the rule, but her story can help you understand how his brain might be working. She EXPERIENCED it and can communicate about it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_Grandin
http://www.templegrandin.com/

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Sitting him on the potty for hours, causes him to fear. Is your son in some kind of therapy? If he's not, it's clear he needs to be. I don't believe he's uncooperative, because he is being bad. He probably doesn't know HOW to cooperate and communicate his fears to you. You need help from a professional.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Truthfully, this may be one of those things he never does.

I worked in the field with people who have developmental disabilities for over 13 years and some just wear diapers their whole life. Even if they can walk and talk and do math and read and are high functioning. It may be the one thing he never does.

There is no harm that I can think of in sticking with the training idea but at some point he is going to have to see someone for further evaluations. They need to put this in all the papers so that he can have it as a goal and everyone can keep working on it together.

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L.W.

answers from Milwaukee on

I do not have any knowledge about nonverbal autistic children, but my son was very afraid of the potty...... we would sit him on the little boy potty for 10 minutes after each meal...... and would give him a m &m even for just sitting there. and 2 if he put anything in it !!!!..... someone once told me that kids get scared when they see their own "stuff" being flushed down the toliet..... maybe this is the issue???
please do not get frustrated with him.....he will get it in his own time......

Updated

I do not have any knowledge about nonverbal autistic children, but my son was very afraid of the potty...... we would sit him on the little boy potty for 10 minutes after each meal...... and would give him a m &m even for just sitting there. and 2 if he put anything in it !!!!..... someone once told me that kids get scared when they see their own "stuff" being flushed down the toliet..... maybe this is the issue???
please do not get frustrated with him.....he will get it in his own time......

Updated

I do not have any knowledge about nonverbal autistic children, but my son was very afraid of the potty...... we would sit him on the little boy potty for 10 minutes after each meal...... and would give him a m &m even for just sitting there. and 2 if he put anything in it !!!!..... someone once told me that kids get scared when they see their own "stuff" being flushed down the toliet..... maybe this is the issue???
please do not get frustrated with him.....he will get it in his own time......

Updated

I do not have any knowledge about nonverbal autistic children, but my son was very afraid of the potty...... we would sit him on the little boy potty for 10 minutes after each meal...... and would give him a m &m even for just sitting there. and 2 if he put anything in it !!!!..... someone once told me that kids get scared when they see their own "stuff" being flushed down the toliet..... maybe this is the issue???
please do not get frustrated with him.....he will get it in his own time......

1 mom found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I feel for ya. My son was a late pottier, and he does not have autism. There is so much being done for kids on the spectrum to reduce the effects of the autism, increase focus, and more. I've got so many colleagues who've done wonders with their kids. If you want to commiserate, let me know. It's not an immediate fix to the potty problems, but it will address some of the underlying causes and most likely bring you improvements in many areas, including the speech.

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S.R.

answers from Lincoln on

Does he go to school? Is he in SPED classes? Does he have an IEP?
If not, you need to get him into some therapy. My daughter is borderline autistic and what they have started doing with her was taking her potty every hour. First they started out with a timer that looked like an hour glass. It was bright pink in color so they could use it as a focal point. It ran exactly 5 min and they would have her sit on the potty for that amount of time, if she didnt pee in the toilet they would still praise her and say "good job". And then they repeated it again in another hour. Finally after about two weeks she went pee in the toilet first time ever! She is non verbal too!
I would not have your son stand like boys do to pee, you need to actually sit him down on the toilet and keep encouraging and praising him even when he doesnt do anything. Take him every hour and sit him on the toilet for five minutes. Get a timer that you can use as a focal point. Also they would praise my daugther with letting her have a fav toy after she went pee pee... it worked wonders. start out slow and work into it. dont switch partners, if you start out taking him, then keep taking him yourself unless you absolutely cannot. that confuses the kids. dont let him sit on the toilet for hours, only 5 min at a time. also, get down to his level, dont stand over him. good luck!

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S.L.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't know a ton about autism, but I think the method we used for potty training my son might help you. My son showed signs of potty readiness before he was 2 and he wasn't very verbal yet. I researched methods and we went with a 3 day method that emphasizes them recognizing the sensation that they have to go. You basically let them go without pants for the first day (or if your son has sensory issues and doesn't want to be naked you can just do loose fitting PJ pants) and you stick to them like glue. We planned all kinds of fun things for us to do-including juice, which he rarely gets, so that we would have plenty of opportunities to practice going potty. Whenever my son started to pee I enthusiastically said "Pee pee goes in the potty" and moved him to the little potty chair that I had in the room. The first pee will be all over the floor (I recommend doing this in a room without carpet), but by pee #3 we got 100% in the potty. You slowly recognize their cues and help remind them to get to the potty and they slowly start to recognize the sensation that they need to go. My son also quickly picked up the word potty from me telling him each time I moved him to the potty. Over the course of a day or two they pretty much get the hang of it if they are ready. (PM me if you want more details)

In order for this to work you can't be negative about accidents or make him feel guilty at all if he doesn't get it. I also agree with another poster that he's afraid of the potty because you've forced him to sit on it. The method I used doesn't have them sit for more than 2 minutes on the potty. Before you try a new method I would wait 2-3 weeks and not mention the potty at all during that time. You want to start fresh.

Best of luck to you! I know potty training can be stressful, I can't imagine doing it with the additional challenges of autism.

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S.R.

answers from Chicago on

An organization in Naperville called Little Friends provides, among other services, workshops for parents of children with autism on a variety of topics/issues, including toileting. If you email me privately I can provide you with contact information, etc., I am on their email list. I don't know how far you want to travel, but this is the primary resource that I am aware of (I live in Aurora, which borders Naperville)

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B.E.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I have three boys and what worked for me was cheerios. I know sounds crazy but if you throw a couple in the bowl and tell them to sink them with there pee it turns into a fun game instead of a hard task.

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