Potty Training - Oakley, CA

Updated on April 17, 2009
J.H. asks from Oakley, CA
13 answers

Hi Ladies~

I have a 3 year old little guy who shows no signs of wanting to be potty trained. I talked to his pediatrician about it, and he said that boys are just slower and it is best not to push it. Do any of you have any thoughts about it? I don't even know where to start with him. He seems embarassed when we change his daiper around other people, but other than that, he doesn't really care. He is perfectly happy going in a daiper. We have tried stickers, charts, etc. to try and motivate him, but nothing works. Should I keep pushing, or let it go for a while? What worked for you? Any advice would be appreciated!!

2 moms found this helpful

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S.M.

answers from San Francisco on

You might want to back off just a little. He will get it when he's ready. My sons learned at day care and preschool. They seem to learn it faster in a group. My older boy learned in daycare, in about a week, at about 2 1/2, but he had already been dry all night since about 24 months. (He was so easy!) My little boy was finally potty trained in preschool (ages 3 to 4), but he wet the bed at night until he was much older. (He was always difficult, the little noodlehead!) It all depends on the kid.

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H.J.

answers from San Francisco on

When we were getting ready to potty train our little guy, my husband would take our son into the bathroom with him, and show him how it's done. Then we got him his own little chair that made noise when you peed. He got so excited about that. Pretty soon he wanted to stand like daddy though. It also helped that he has 2 older boy cousins that he looks up to. We were getting no where with the pull-ups, so tried a different approach. I let my son pick out some "big boy" underwear (be sure to get a couple packs). When we were at home I had him wear his underwear. If he had an accident he had to change his own clothes (except if he pooped). With the pull-ups he could care less if he peed in them, but with the underwear as soon as he started to go, he would freak and run to the bathroom. They can feel it more when they have the underwear on. The cool effects don't work, because he never once said anything about feeling cold. After a few weeks there were no accidents and he was excited to go pee pee in the potty. It took about 2 more weeks until he got the pooping down, but he did pretty good. When he was fully potty trained I took him out to buy all new underwear.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi J. -

My son was the same way, but when in preschool he didn't like being one of the last ones to be potty trained. Competing with the other boys made a difference and he took to it and got it done. He taught himself to walk and talk when he felt like it, so he will get this too. Don't fret, it will be alright!

M.

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N.L.

answers from Fresno on

Hi J.,

I wouldn't worry too much about this right now if he's not interested. My son was 3.5 yrs old before he wanted to go in the potty. There really is NO WAY to push them to go in the potty before they are ready. Once they decide to do it, it will happen. I did use the 3daypotty.com method, but not exactly. I recommend buying this book. It helped me a lot! Mostly what worked for my son was letting him be the "boss" of when to go. It made him feel like such a big boy, and this book helped show me how to do this. Also, we went straight from diapers to undies...no pull ups at all(even at night) and no going back to diapers!

Good luck and don't worry. It will happen. I have yet to hear of anyone starting kindergarten in diapers. Relax and enjoy your time with your kids. God bless.

N.

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L.R.

answers from San Francisco on

I second the 3 day potty training listed in another response. My son wasn't really trained in 3 days, but he certainly understood the connection. It's worth it to purchase and read the book, but here are the basics. Start on a weekend - best if you can be home for 3 days. Don't go anywhere. Start day 1 by throwing out ALL the diapers - no pull ups. Put your boy in underwear. That's it. We use the potty. Then ply him with liquids, etc, keep a close eye on him - if he starts having an accident, rush him to the potty. We did this when my son was 20months old. It was HARD work, but so worth it in the long run. He is 2.5 now, and fully potty trained. Tossing out the diapers might be enough for your 3 year old to just start doing it... I'm sure he'll get it faster at that age.

Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from Sacramento on

Our son started showing interest around 2 1/2 that's when we bought him the big boy underpants, but then he stopped. I was not going to change diapers after 3, nor did I want to buy them. A couple of weeks before he turned 3, I started taking off his clothes first thing in the morning and letting him run around naked. I told him there would be a consequence if he pooped or peed in the house and not on the potty. He did good when naked. Once he had gone a few times in the morning, we put the underpants on. With the underpants, I told him mommy didn't want to clean poop from the underpants so if he went in them he was going to have to clean them and himself. Hi did this for about two weeks then realized it was just easier to go on the potty.

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L.G.

answers from San Francisco on

I have a resistant boy, too. He is turning 4 in June. I tried just abt everything to the point I was more aware of my husband's and my frustration. That is when I decide to change my tactic. The morning "pee" is never optional. They have to go and you can get them to go in the potty, even without a reward (although paying my guy 1 M&M for pee helped kick start that).

Finally, I decided Reward systems work really well. I found the ONE THING he really loved - the Pixar movie "CARS". Watched it (or parts of it) just about EVERYDAY. Then, each time he did really well on the potty, he earned a new car toy. This very much worked for my son.

Your son may not be ready, although he is ready for you to find that one thing he has a complete passion for. Then, exploit it till he is potty trained! We mom's have to do what ever works - LOL.

My son is now 99% potty trained at home and has accidents out of the house. Just remain encouraging, nurturing and excited every time he goes. Make the big deal each and every time. When he has accidents, don't get upset. Just do a sad face and tell him that the accident is ok and next time lets try to get to the potty before going in his pants.

I also stopped saying "diaper" or "pull up", when refering to where he had his accident. I always ask "did you pee pee your pants?", "are your pants still dry?" that also seemed to help my son transition.

Best wishes to you and your son.

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R.B.

answers from Fresno on

Hello.. I found what worked for my son, I had tried everything and then I just had him wear underwear instead. And when we were home, if he wet his pants I would run with him to the bathroom and had him stand over the potty. After a few tries he didn't like the feeling of wetting his pants and so he started running for the potty himself. So cute! Good luck :)

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B.R.

answers from Bakersfield on

Hi. I have 2 boys and 1 girl and the boys took way longer to potty train than my daughter. The boys were about 3-1/2 by the time they were trained and my daughter was about
2-1/2. We got a dvd for my daughter to watch, Elmo's potty time she loved it. For a long time she would just watch the dvd but after a few months she started training. I also went out and got Hershey Kisses, and everytime she went pee in the potty she got a kiss, #2 she got 2 kisses. Stickers and charts did not work for her. We only did the candy for about 2 weeks and then she stopped asking for it. You might want to let him sit on the little potty while he watches the dvd, kind of lets them put 2 and 2 together even if they don't go in it for awhile, eventually he'll get the point. Good luck! Hope some of this helps. :)

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W.H.

answers from Phoenix on

My boy was older than that when he potty trained. So while he was late, he also was COMPLETELY pottytrained when he did. (some of his peers who were pottytrained early, would still do #2 in their underpants, even though they were "potty trained" to pee in the toilet). I also much prefer changing diapers to messed up underpants. Your choice to put up with the diapers (and embarrassment at your little guy not being ahead of the curve here) a little longer or bear with the hassle of potty training and all its accidents.

My friend also had a "2 week & $60 potty training program" in which she had her kid wear nothing on their tushies (long t-shirts but nothing underneath) and it was much easier for them to get the toilet. The $60 was for carpet cleaning afterwards!

I agree that wearing underpants, real cloth ones, is the way to go. Pullups dont work (for pottytraining)!

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S.S.

answers from Yuba City on

Hi J., my son didn't "potty train" until he was 3 1/2 and because he is so big I was really embarrassed that he was too old! Finally what motivated him was that he wanted to go to pre-school and they only take potty trained kids! I showed him the school and told him he had to be a big boy and go on the toilet! I think boys are kind-of lazy and definetly slower when it comes to potty training! My daughter at 2 was done! The very extreme last thing that we had to do was take the diaper or pullup off and let him experience going in his underwear several times before he got it! It works!! Putting the pullup back on doesn't help! Carry a potty toilet with you in your car so he can go when you leave the house..sometimes they become confused if they go out in public and have to use a public toilet! Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi,

Every child is different, but pushing it too much will probably backfire. My son is turning 3 in a couple of weeks and two weeks ago was a turning point for us. Until that point, he had zero interest in using the potty, but he clearly knew when he was peeing/pooping. Then, two weeks ago one morning, my husband told him that there were no more diapers in the house, mostly to see what he would do. Amazingly, my son accepted it and went with it and has been doing so since. Weird. But this is to say that it's probably best to let them dictate the timeline because there will be a lot less struggle.

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