ok, friends. my 2 1/2 granddaughter refuses to be potty trained. she tells her mommy, "NO THANK YOU, I'LL JUST GO IN MY DIAPA". She has tried everything she knows to do. Any suggestions out there?
READ and follow Toilet Training in Less than a Day, my son said the same thing before I tried it. It gives them ownership of it...
Wait.
The more it becomes a power struggle, the more she WILL win.
Wait. If the child is not ready it will not work.
My advise is to drop it and try again in 3 months or just wait for her to show signs of readiness. I'm telling you, don't frustrate yourselves. It's not worth it. Keep a little potty in the main living area so she can play with it and hopefully use it, if she's running around the house naked. Two and a half is still very young and she's obviously not emotionally ready to do this. I pushed it with my oldest and looking back it was silly. I eventually dropped the whole thing, out of frustration. He finally potty trained just after he turned 3 and he was far more willing to do it. Much easier process at that time.
I'm with Sarah L. If your grandchild has been subjected to "everything" by the age of 2.5, then she's possibly been…
1. …rushed along faster than is good for her, without any choice or initiative of her own;
2. …exposed to too many failures and a disappointed mommy;
3. …not given enough time to get on any particular program;
4. …given many opportunities to find the weaknesses in her mom's initiative.
I'd be inclined to take a break for a couple of months, so the child can "forget" all of the negative experiences she's had. It's fine to go on giving demonstrations, potty parties with her toys, positive messages about the benefits of using the potty, and to express confidence that the child will get it when she's ready. And she will. She may simply not be ready yet, and readiness must happen on multiple levels, including emotional.
Here's a wonderful, informative website you might find helpful. It gives a few variations on"readiness" checklists, plus tips on various training strategies, the best ages to start them, and the advantages and disadvantages of each approach: http://www.parentingscience.com/toilet-training-readiness...
I agree with the other responses. If you push she will only continue to not potty train. You need to allow her to decide that she WANTS to potty train. Since young children do not have a lot of control in their lives they tend to try and assert control when they can. You can help curb this by giving them choices and allowing them to make some decisions.
She will train in her own time, you just have to keep encouraging her, talking about it and giving some incentives, but don't push.
She is still on the young side and it sounds to me like she is not developmentally ready. (Every child is different.) Ease up and wait a few weeks and try again.We did this with my son and he was 100% trained about 2 months prior to turning 3. When he was ready, it just clicked. All the time I spent trying to "force" the issue before he was ready was a waste of time and I think, at times, it set us back.
Maybe when you restart- introduce some type of reward system- stickers on the chart and when she goes so many times she gets a bigger reward (ex. family game night, a picnic lunch, $1 store toy, or whatever she is into that doesn't cost a lot of money). Eventually she will decide she is ready and it will be so easy. If she is capable and starts to regress (my son did that) take her out of diapers/pull-ups and use underwear. It only took my son one episode of "poopy underwear" to decide to be 100% potty trained.
I think the main problem is that she is only 2 1/2 and you've already tried everything. I personally think that every child is capable of being potty trained by that age, but I can't imagine you have been trying for that long and if you've tried everything then there is no way that you have been consistent. Kids aren't dumb. If you are inconsistent then they know you have no idea what you're doing and they are going to take advantage. My advice is to stop for a few weeks. In that time decide on a strategy and then when you decide to implement it stick with it. She won't be potty trained overnight, but you still have to be consistent.
With my son we used a 3-day potty training type method and it worked well. We did no punishments, no rewards (other than lots of praise and high fives), and no going back to diapers except for nap and bed. There are other methods that will probably work, but pick one and stick with it.
The average age these days for potty training is 36 months. She is still a bit on the young side and if she's not ready, it will only be a power struggle. When she does start to show interest, go straight to big girl panties.
I would try one of two things. Either get rid of the diapers...so they are no longer an option or take a break completely from the idea of potty training. . We are working with my daughter now. Two weeks ago she kept bringing me diapers. "I want a diaper". My solution was to toss the diapers. If they aren't around, they are not a choice. I bought thick training pants and plastic covers for night time instead. (Funnily enough she night time potty trained herself in no time).
With my son potty training was becoming increasingly frustrating. He didn't want to go unless it was his idea...he would down right refuse. When I complained to a friend, she suggested I take a break. I thought she was crazy, "what about all the progress we have made?" Then one day I found myself angry, beyond a little frustrated. And although I maintained my composure I wanted to scream! I figured a little pee shouldn't make me this angry and my friend was right. Took a break for a little over a month. When we came back to it, it was a breeze. Really easy. That month gave my son time to mature and gave me a break and time to relax about the training. It was the best thing I could have done! Two is a guideline, but not every kid is ready by then.
She's young. You can't force a child to use the potty. I would take a break for a month or three. If the little girl associates negativity or being forced to use the potty, she will exert her natural control over the situation and it will get worse. My 2 1/2 yr old uses the potty every now and then, it's very casual. I'm not in a huge hurry to potty train her and I think getting in that casual, baby step mindset will be a lot better for potty training her. I plan to increase and actually try to actively potty train her between July and Aug between my college semesters. If she refuses, then we'll take a break from it.
My best friend had her aunt trying to potty train her son (I dont know why), but was forcing him on the potty til he cried... now he refuses to go (duh lol) so we were talking about it the other day and she said she's going to have to keep the aunt the hell away from him because he has a neg association with the potty now.
I took both my girls to pick out pretty big girl panties. We gradually weaned off the daily diapers as they wanted to wear their panties and learned that they needed to use the potty otherwise the princesses (in their cases) would get soiled and that was incredibly upsetting.
Nighttime took a little longer and a little more effort on my part.
Good luck.
a friend of mine explained to the child that it was "nasty nasty" to potty in your pants. thats for babies and your not a baby. we finally got our son to be fully trained by allowing him to go to the houston zoo. my mom used silky undies as it feels bad when you pee in those! and take the diaper away (we still use a pull up at night)
