Potty Training - Danbury,NH

I think you need to just get rid of the diapers completely. He is old enough where it shouldnt be a choice for him any more. He is almost kindergarten age And they will not change diapers in an elementary school

Assuming that he doesn't have any disabilities, I wouldn't make the training a choice. Tell him how many diapers you have and that when they are gone you will not be buying anymore. Have him sit on the potty every hour and reward his successes. When you have to change a messy diaper, you get the reward. For my son, he got a sucker for putting his poo in the potty and I got the sucker if he chose to put it in his diaper. It gave him the option but he also wanted the sucker so he chose to put it in the potty. You could also require him to clean himself which may take a very long time but may get through to him if he has to spend the time cleaning his own mess. Also, once you start - DON'T STOP.

I think you're putting too much pressure on him to show an interest and be ready. For both my kids, we got ready and just did it- no diapers during awake time. I didn't use pull-ups- just underwear that my kids had picked out. I didn't ask if they were ready but rather told them we were no longer using diapers and had them try peeing/pooping on the potty. Most people believe the kid will lead the way, but honestly, most people I know who waited still ended up having to "force" the child to use the potty at age 4- they waited several years longer but still had to initiate no diapers, and by the time they're 4, it's harder because they're very stubborn. You need to be strong and just get rid of diapers cold-turkey during awake time. There will be several days of accidents, but stay strong. It's hard for parents to be consistent about not using diapers too, but hang in there! He's definitely ready (unless you get a doctor to say he's not).

Your right, He is way to old. It sounds like he is really trying to hang onto YOU babying him. He loves the attention he gets from you and how it makes him feel for you to take care of him. Start by switching things around. Give him attention in BIG BOY area's, like playing with toys. Make sure that changing his diaper is not the warm and fuzzy time that it has been. I had heard of one dad in same situation. He was the youngest boy and when his diaper was change, it was about the only real one on one time his got with his mother. The dad explained to him that he was a big boy and that his diapers were to smelly to be in the house any more. So when he dirtied his diaper, his dad took him outside and hosed him off. I'm not sure how well that would work, I know my kids would have loved it. But you should definatly get RID of those diapers, have him pick out his own underwear. If he dirties himself, make him clean up himself or give him a cool shower for him to clean himself. It may sound mean, but he needs to know you love him in other area's, not just when he wants to be a baby.

Do you have any other children????
Have you spoken to your Pediatrician about this?
Is he delayed in any other developmental areas?
Talk to your Pediatrician.

Or is he just lazy about it?

Have you asked him "why" he does not want to be a "big boy?"
See what he says.
Kids think things... that sometimes we adults, would never have thought of.

Are you having him go on a toilet or using a potty chair????
Maybe try a potty chair. Potty chairs are portable. Put it in any room he is in close by. Leave him naked on the bottom. Don't force, but he will know the potty chair is there.

He is 4.5 years old.
I know boys are often later in pottying.. but he is almost of Kindergarten age???

Will he be going to Preschool or Kindergarten or Pre-K, soon???
If so, maybe he is stressed about it, and does not want to go. Hence not wanting to learn pottying. Hence a stalemate.

Maybe to him, pottying means.... he will have to be 'grown up' and he doesn't want to be.
If anything, talk to your Pediatrician.
Or if he has any other developmental issues, have him, assessed.

I understand. My guy is also 4 1/2, and I started training him 2 years ago!! While we're 90% of the way there now, it has been much more difficult than I ever imagined.

At this point, it seems like your kiddo is being lazy. It's just easier for him not to deal with it. If he has no other developmental delays, I'd suggest ditching the daytime diapers cold turkey, when you have a couple of weeks to commit to seeing him through the transition. He'll definitely need diapers or pull-ups at night, though. He's old enough to do it without treats and bribes, but pile on the love and praise as he does other "big boy" things too.

You might want to call the pediatrician for some other ideas.

Good Luck to you and I completely understand. My daughter (turned 4 in March) just last Sunday stopped wearing diapers because we "ran out" while on vacation. She is NOT on the potty but she goes outside! No accidents and we set up a private area for her in our backyard. The good news is NO diapers. The bad news is no potty either. One step at a time. She has even asked if I remember when she wore diapers ;) By the way girls can pee standing up!

I would go shopping and let him pick out his underwear he wants and then get home put them on - and never put on a diaper again. He won't like the feeling of himself wet/ppop in the underwear - and don't run to change him out of it either...you will do tons of laudry but if you can get through one week of it, then by the 7th day, you will have a potty trained child. I did it with all three of my kids and it worked. It's alot of work but the weather is warm so keep him outside for all his accidents. Good luck!

Hi C.-

My son who will be 6 in October was not potty trained until he was 4. On his 4th birthday I told him there would be no more diapers. I had ben telling him this for a week or so, so he wasn't surprised. We set a timer and every 20 minutes we sat on the potty. Once he peed, we waited 30-60 minutes. Within two days, the intervals were longer and within 1 week or so he was virtually potty trained for pee. Poop was a whole different story. He pooped in his pants most days until May. It was a real drag, but we just stuck it out. Luckily for us, he only really pooped at home and so we were able to clean him up pretty easily. I am not sure what happened, but one day he pooped on the potty and he soon got the hang of it. He has had very few accidents since he figured it out, but they do happen. I felt like a big loser for awhile, but then realized that every kid figures it out in his/her own way and that it really isn't about me at all.

Good luck to you!
Mara

Assuming there isn't a medical issue, I would tell him that as of X date there would be no more diapers and that he will be expected to use the potty when he has to go. You said he did it before so it leads me to think he can do it if he wanted to. Remind him that if you are out and about and he wets himself, you'll have to leave whatever fun thing you are doing to go home and change. Don't shame him, but just present it very matter of fact. When you don't use the potty and wet yourself, you need to go home and change. This worked with my daughter. I would keep just a change of under clothes in the car so she wouldn't have to sit in wet things, but then we would go home and not return to the park or museum or whatever that day. If she resisted using the potty before leaving the house or when I reminded her later in the day, I would remind her that if she had an accident, we'd have to leave and ask her again to go to the potty. This worked really well for us. I didn't use a pull up at night either. I limited drinks after dinner, had her go to the potty before bed and would take her again when I went to bed. She was half asleep but would pee. When she did have an accident, I just cleaned her up quickly (no fun baths), pulled up the top layer (I used to do a double layer of waterproof mattress pad and bottom sheets on her bed so you don't have to deal with making up a new bed in the middle of the night) and put her in bed again. The night training took more time than the day training.

There is actually a specialist at Children's Hospital who works with kids who are late on potty training. My friend took her 5-year old there and it was an immediate success, after YEARS of trying everything under the sun. The department is called "childrens pain and incontinence program" or PIP for short. They recommend NOT just taking away the kids diapers (which at this point are a comfort thing for him, and he'd probably be extremely resistant to having them taken away) - but I do agree with the person who said you should make him clean up his own messes, he is old enough at this point to take responsibility. The PIP dept. has a months-long wait list so if I were you I would call right away. You can get a referral through your pediatrician so it's covered by insurance. Good luck!

No you're not. Have you talked to the doctor? My son had GI problems and it impacted his potty training. And I feel embarrassed often - but I need to let it go.
If it were my sister writing that she felt like a loser because her child wanted control over his body (choosing lack of control is a form of control) - I'd point out that it is not her that is potty training and to stop worrying about others' judgement. Focus on what's going on with your child besides potty training. Back off for a good chunk of time.

But I don't know you or your child and I don't know your situation so I would just say talk to the doctor, use pullups as if diapers. Switch to training pants so child can feel the wetness.