Potty Training

HE's 3, I don't see any reason, BOY OR GIRL, why a 3yr old should be in diapers. Put him in underwear, and when he has an accident make him take the wet underwear off, clean himself up, rinse out the dirty undies, and help clean up the mess, and get himself clean clothes. A few times of this nad he'll realize its not a fun game anymore, mom won't give in, and its quicker to just use the toilet.

If you keep putting him in diapers he'll keep using them. Whether he's 1 or 5, he'll have accidents while training, so you just have ot deal with it and not give in. He's old enough, he's smart enough, you justh ave to be tough enough to get it done.

With my son, I started potty training him outdoors. Going potty on the car tire, or the tree. It made him want to go and then when indoors, he got used to knowing when he had to go, and I would use a treat bucket under the counter full of stickers, suckers and such items as a reward. At that time we lived on 10 acres, so it wasn't a neighborhood with lots of people around.

M., I am right there with ya!!! My son will be 4 this week and we have #1 down really well...but #2, forget about it!!! To get him going pee, we let him get a chocolate out of a bucket that had treats just for him when he went pee...and that really worked. I did the toy bribing for pooing...no such luck. But now we are working on Chuck E Cheese rewards. Because he loves to go there and have fun. But like you, I don't push him, I just try to kindly remind him to try to "push it out". I have an 8 week old baby boy at home as well.

Good Luck.

M.

Dedicate an entire weekend to "pooper-duty" and go cold-turkey from the pullups and diapers. He'll use em as long as you put him in them. Let him pick out 2 to 3 packs of real underwear with his favorite characters, and tell him to try his best to keep them clean and dry by letting you know when he needs to go. To help prevent accidents, use a timer or potty watch (www.onestepahead.com) and set it for 30 to 60 minute intervals, and take him to the bathroom on a schedule, until he gets the hang of keeping the pants clean and dry.

If for some reason you must leave the house, DO NOT use diapers or pullups. Instead use rubber training pants (Gerber makes these, and they can be found in the toddler/baby section at Target). They are regular cotton undies that are padded and covered with leakproof plastic. They still leak, but it will buy you time to get him something clean and dry if you're out and about. The key is, you want him to experience the uncomfortableness that comes with an accident. You want them to find their reward in being clean not in just getting a treat for doing learned behavior.

He'll have a few accidents to start, but after experiencing the mess, he'll quickly get the routine and by the end of the weekend, he'll be trained.

If you'd like, you can reward him after an entire weekend of clean undies with a treat of some sort.

This works. It's hard work, but if you pay your dues over a weekend, it's well worth the chasing him around. We did this with my youngest when nothing else worked, and it was THE way to go.

Throw out the pull-ups. They are nothing but glorified diapers. Throw out the diapers, too. Don't look back.

Tell him he's now a big boy, and big boys wear underpants. Buy him underpants that are his favorite color, or that look just like daddy's, whatever trips his trigger. Every hour, have him go to the bathroom. Set a timer if you have to. Praise him for sitting on the toilet, even if nothing happens. If he's reluctant to go, make it a family potty break, and everyone goes in there one at a time and "goes", even if you just pretend to.

Should he go in his pants--and he will--have him clean it up. He has to change himself and rinse out his underwear. Don't make a big deal out of accidents. His "punishment" is having to sit in dirty underwear and clean up after himself. His "reward" is being a big boy and having clean underwear. No toys or star charts are necessary.

One thing that worked with my son was "naked time" - over Labor Day weekend we let him go without pants or diaper (obviously didn't go out at all!) during the day and found this worked well, because he has trouble removing his pants on his own and without them he was able to just run to the potty when he needed to. From there we went to wearing underwear and we have good days and bad days but just last week he started doing #2s in the potty (yea!) and sometimes he just leaks a little bit and it reminds him he has to go. I also recommend giving up the pull-ups - at first - they are just like diapers. Now we use them when we go out sometimes, just for "security" (aka: no puddles in the middle of the cereal aisle!) and he usually keeps them dry and still tells us he has to go.

Also, I should say, we didn't force the issue. He's 2 1/2 and had been showing interest about 8-10 months ago, but right before his little sister was born he turned and was absolutely against it. We'd ask if he wanted to go on the potty occassionally and then, one day, rather than screaming "NO" and crying - he said "yes"! and we ran with it - whatever it took - we have potty prizes, potty dances, potty songs, potty books and potty parties! and sometimes he took a little convincing, but we'd go through all of the options until he decided that it was better than going in his pants!

Good Luck!

I started trying to potty train when my son was 2.5 with NO success. But I kept trying every month or so. Finally, when he was almost 3, something clicked and he caught on quickly to the potty part. We are still working on the poopy part...after 2 months. When I push the issue, he goes backwards with the potty part. So I'm going to be patient and just wait for this to click as well.

I do think the potty part came along because I had watched his good friend go potty on the toilet. A couple days later I had a talk with my son and told him if he wanted to go to preschool he needed to go potty in the toilet like his friend. He immediately wanted to try. He pushed (did not have a clue how to release his bladder), some dribbled out, and from there he caught on. The first time his bladder was really full, he was scared to release it. I had to hug him while he went. But then success! He has gone poop twice now on the potty chair, but when he really feels like he has to go, is when he freaks out and gets scared. The sensation just seems to overwhelm him. I have hope though, that when he is ready, just like with potty, it will all fall in place.

Not sure if this has helped, but it's just what I've been learning lately. Good luck!

My son started "trying" to work on potty training around 2 1/2 as he was interested in it. We had even bought him some character big boy underwear he liked and picked out himself. Then he lost interest and kind of "rebelled" against it, so we just droppped the whole thing. Then, right before he turned 3, he started asking to wear big boy underwear again, and the potty training has been really easy now. So I guess you could just continue taking a break and wait to see if he shows interest in it again in a few months? I was of a mind not to push it either, especially with a boy, as I know it can lead to issues later in life with constipation, etc.

Well...I wouldn't say it's not good to "push" them. I would say it is NEVER good to make the potty a negative experience, ie yelling or punishing for messing up. It's also not good to give a 3 year old too much control...if they are concious of when they go and tell you they need changed, then they are ready to go on the big potty. If you know they are ready and they're not using it, then it's a control issue. There's not much in their little world that they CAN control, so sometimes- in my experience- this is something they really hold on to. And the ones who have decided to not give up control...it seems that no degree of discomfort will change things. I am not a medical professional, but I have provided child care in a large capacity at a not-for-profit establishment dealing with a diverse caliber of clientele and issues.

All this being said, have you tried moving the potty chair out of the bathroom and into say, the living room? This particular tactic worked with my son. He was potty trained at 2 and a half years, and as soon as he didn't have to completely remove himself from his current situation and miss anything- wether it be a show on the tele or an array of toys on the floor- he didn't fight it one iota. AND he never had an accident once he was trained. Best of luck. I know this can be frustrating and costly!

M., yes, be patient, is the best thing you can do, i have 3 sons, and each of them took till they were 4 to get the whole thing down, dont fret over it, i wish i was smart enough to realize not to start too early , i started like all of them at 2, but now that im older wiser, i would of waited, just relax and it will come, provide a stable environment and lots of love, just enjoy life, and enjoy them while they are young, D. s

We are in the same boat. My 2 1/2 year old will do good sometimes and now he flat out refuses to go on the potty. He's started to use the potty as an excuse not to go to sleep at night or for naps. The sticker method is getting old to him and doesn't work anymore. He doesn't seem to care that he's wet when we put him in underpants and he has an accident. We have the potty in the living room and he can watch TV, but he doesn't even want to do that anymore.

Our biggest problem right now is that he's now leaking out of his size 6 diapers at night. Now we are going to have to find larger diapers for night time.

He also has a new brother, which could also be a problem. It's down right frustrating sometimes!

Maybe it's a good idea to put them on hold for a bit. I think that's what we will try and try to find bigger diapers!

Dose your husband like to fish, or hunt, or work on cars. My ex's mom told me that when they were potty training him his dad loved to fish and so did he. So they boughthim a fish bowl and every time he went potty he got to get a fishing lure out of his dad's tackle box and put it in his fish bowl. you could try something like this.
Madi

I have to say the taking a break is a good start. Especially with a new baby. my son was only 2 when my daughter was born. He was showing signs of wanting to use the potty before she was born but didn't actually succeed in training all the way. He finally decided on his own to use the potty about a month before his 3rd birthday. He still needed rewards so we gave him matchbox cars. We actually dug them out of his own toybox because at the time he had so many he didn't even know he had them. We also found that training in the winter was ALOT easier than trying to get him to come into the house when he was playing outside in the summer. Another thing I did and some people feel its not for them was I took away his diaper and let him run naked. He didn't like peeing down his leg. So he would go potty. Now the next summer we had some accidents until he figured out that peeing his pants was not fun and would run into the house. He is still not night trained and we have tried everything with that so sorry I can't help you there. LOL. Hope this helps. laterz

there's potty books that come with videos specific to boys and girls.. all about growing up and etc. i think the girl's one is hannah...

my sister used a sticker chart as well. they tried to fill in the whole month with a sticker on each dry day... bought special underpants, etc. basically both my sisters just didn't give up and lived with a lot of accidents... finally their kids caught on. good luck!

I had the same frustrations, of course every child is different. We put the potty chair in the living room (area where the family is most of the time). That did the trick.

I used the book, Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day by Teri Crain. We did the Party Party plan and my daughter was basically potty trained in a weekend. We did this when she was just about 3. Prior to that, we had a potty chair and videos and books, but didn't ever push anything at all. One video we really liked (my now 4 1/2 year old still asks to watch it sometimes) is called Potty Power. The one thing is that the potty party is a HUGE amount of work for the parents. If you're interested in trying it, I'd wait until you have a bit more energy when the newborn is a little older. Even if you don't do the Potty Party idea, there may be some other suggestions in the book that could help.

Hello M.:

We have 5 year old girl, and a 3-1/2 year old boy, She was potty trained by a year and a half - I am not sure if it was because I had all the time and patience in my life (I stayed home with her), or because it was the Montessori School we sent her to part-time, or simply because it was her just her. He, on the other hand, is now 3-1/2 years old exactly and he just started holding until we take him to the bathroom about 2 months ago. So, he basically will first say, "I want to go potty" and we have to rush to the toilet and we still need to assist him. He, apparently does go BY HIMSELF without any help when he is at school now. we decided to put him in an underwear also at night, and he does occasionally get accidents if he doesn't call us but it is just what we have to go through patiently. He obviously doesn't like getting wet, so he will learn with time. We do not like to pressure him, nor do we ever scold him if he gets accidents, but we gently and patiently tell him he is a big boy now and needs to learn to go to toilet. He will take his time, and we will just have to patiently talk him through all this.

The interesting thing is, we put his sister in Tae Kwon Do 3 months ago. She is doing very well, and I take him to watch her in class. He so very much wants to do Tae Kwon Do as well, but we won't let him until he is fully trained, and does not have accidents anymore. We explain this to him. So since then, he has evidently been trying so very hard to go to toilet. We do not reward him with any candy or anything except praise and hugs and a little dance celebration here and there. We do not like rewarding the kids with anything like candy or stuff.....

Please be patient with your son as you already have been. Don't worry about what other people feel or say about him not being potty trained yet. Everyone IS different - he will get it when he is ready and it is not an indication of anything negative. Good luck!

CJ.

Hi M.,

I don't have any answers for you but I can probably make you feel better. I have a 4 year old boy who refuses to have anything to do with potty training. I could have written your letter. We also have tried everything and don't know what to do so I'm looking forward to the responses that you get. I hope we can both find some answers. Good luck!

Unfortunately I don't have any advice for you but I support you as we are going through this very same thing with our 3 year old boy. The doctor just told us to take a break for 6 - 8 weeks and then try again. He told us not to get frustrated but how don't you when all you hear from other parents about how easy it was to train little johnny when her was just barely two. Just keep your spirits up and is will happen (I HOPE!) when the time is right. Good Luck and share the advice if you get any that works!

I agree with everyone about it happening fast when they are ready. HOWEVER, I bet part of the "problem" is the new baby sister. I've always heard that there is regression with a new sibling anyway. Waiting until the baby gets a little older and the big brother is more adjusted to being a big brother might make the potty training easier. Just a thought...

I don't have any suggestions for your 3 year old, but I have a suggestion for you baby girl. We started potty training our son when he was 15 months old. He is now 2 1/2 and is fully trained during the day. He tells us when he has to go or he just takes himself. We haven't had an accident for months. I suggest starting your girl when she's younger. If you train them before they start to have fears it seems to work a lot better.

It sounds like maybe its not the best timing with a 6 week old baby in the house. I would recommend (based on personal experience) to wait till he shows some interest in it. I know that there are parents who likely will disagree, but I think that kids have some say in when they are ready to start. It may be that you need to try the diapers that help them feel the "wet" because so many of the diapers now are meant to keep the skin dry & until they get the discomfort of being wet, there is little motivation. Otherwise, don't add to your stress by pushing it, you have enough other things to focus on at the moment. Keep introducing but don't push it.
Good luck.

It's so frustrating, isn't it?? My now 10 year old son had no interest in potty training when he was 3. Luckily, he was allowed to wear pullups to preschool. I tried everything-spent a large amount of money on toys for an award basket, stickers, treats, etc! Finally, I just gave up for a while and did not push it. I figured he just was not ready. He was 3 1/2 years old to the date when he decided to go on the potty. Let it go for a while, continue to talk about it, but don't make him try to go on the potty. You may be surprised in a few weeks. Good luck!

M., My little guy really had no interest in it at all either. He turned three in June and we had tried with him but he just did not want to. My neighbor had told me what had hooked her son was to let him go potty outside. So we were in a rural area (very rural) and we let him try it. HE has been hooked ever since. we would put colored cereal in the toilet after this. Like trix I believe and told him to hit the target. (We had him hit a target on the outside adventure) But we also had to explain to him a couple times when he thought he was going to go outside in the neighborhood that you can not do it when their are people or in a neighborhood. HE has been hooked ever since. He was three years and 6 weeks. But if they are not ready then nothing will work. We keep him in diapers at night because he does not always wake up yet. Good Luck.

Neither of my boys were potty trained til they were almost 3 1/2. It's a good idea not to push him, he'll get it when he's ready. Here are my 2 suggestions that worked for us: 1. ditch all pull-ups and diapers. Put him in underwear full time. 2. Let him pee outside (while the weather is still warm!). Our boys thought it was a hoot and it worked. Redneck? LoL Probably! But did it work? Yes!

I havnt started potty traing yet, but what I have been told by many people is that if you don't make a big deal out of it at all, then they just do it, when the child is ready they will do it on their own... I don't know if its true but maybe it'll help alittle!

Did your son show any interest in potty training prior to your daughter's birth? If so, he may be feeling that because there is a baby in the house and he is not the only child any more, he is having a hard time adjusting and does not want to go potty like a big boy. I waited until my babies were about 7 months old before really starting to potty train their older sibling. With my first son, I started with pull-ups 3 month before his 3rd b-day, but it was not until 3 months after he turned 3, that he really took an interest. Peer pressure also helped along with knowing he would get a toy that he picked out. Another thing that worked was a sticker chart. Good luck with the training and when he is ready, he will let you know or start going on his own.

Hi,
I'm a mother of 3, however I have all girls. Although it has been said that boys take longer to learn the process. I can only tell you what worked for me and my girls.... if you should try it, I wish you the best.

I would put my kids on the potty everytime I went and we discussed what you do in the toilet. I would also take the potty chair and place it in front of the t.v and they had to sit there until something happened. If after about 10-15 mins nothing happened we would take a break, but we were right back on the toilet every 45 mins until they were telling me "no mommy, I don't have to go right now".

I potty trained my daughter and a niece that way. They caught on pretty quickly.

Best of Luck.

I will tell you what my seasoned mother friends told me, after my first child. You can try to make them potty trained and if they aren't ready or don't want to, it will just frustrate you and them. They then told me that when they are ready it will happen in a day. I took their advice, didn't push, occasionally I would ask if he wanted to go to the potty and it really did happen in one day when he was about 3 1/2. He had started to go a little more often and we went out and bought big boy underwear that he got to pick out. The next day, I asked him if he wanted to wear his big boy underwear and he said yes. We started out in pull-ups and if he told me when he needed to go potty and stayed dry until after his nap, he could wear them. He did and we haven't looked back.
I would also say, that trying to potty train with a new little one isn't a good idea. He just had his whole world go upside down and even if he was potty trained, they say they will revert back to diapers a lot of times. Get him adjusted to a new sibling and it will happen in a day sometime down the road.
Boys do take a little longer than girls sometimes. Don't know why, but they do.
Good luck.