Potty Training - Austin,TX

Updated on June 10, 2011
C.S. asks from Austin, TX
8 answers

First off this is my first time potty training anyone. I just want to know if there is anything else I should be doing to help my 27 month old daughter get the hang of potty training. At first we had the little potty that sits on the floor and right when she turned two I thought o.k lets get busy with this potty training but she instantly was resistant and just always said "no" so we stopped for couple months and then we went to store and picked out a seat for the big potty together. She seems to like the big potty and is no longer resistant to sitting on it. She pees quite a bit in the potty and has pooped some if I am really good and catch her just at the right time. For last two weeks I've kept her in panties except at nap and bedtime. She still hasnt once tried to tell me she needed to go potty until she peed her panties. We don't make a big deal out of peeing in her panties. Also she still seems to not really let it go when she pees on the potty. She will pee a little bit and then 15 min later she will pee all over the place. We try to stay for a little longer on the potty. I'm just wondering if she is just not developmentally ready or if I should be doing something more. Oh and we do reward going potty.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for the input. I've been leaning on the side of she's not ready. She has the basic idea but the other important pieces of the puzzle haven't quite kicked in for her. We'll keep having potty times everyday but gonna take a break from the panties. Hopefully something will kick in soon since baby sister is due in september. Although she would probably regress then anyway so there is probably no hurry.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

It doesn't sound like she's ready to potty train. When they are ready and you are focused on it, potty training is "all done" within a week. Right now she's training you to put her on the potty when you notice the signs.

When she's ready, take an entire long weekend and just do it!

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Have you read on the "readiness signs" to see if she really is ready? There are tons of older posts on potty training help too, you never know someone's older post may have additional helpful ideas too! I struggled with potty training myself but it can/will be accomplished.

http://www.mamapedia.com/search?query=potty+training

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H.G.

answers from Dallas on

Maybe she's just not ready. My daughter eas nearly 4 before she was trained and it wasn't because I didn't try! Give it a rest for a little bit and try a little later. Worked for us!

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S.D.

answers from Austin on

You are doing a great job; she's just not ready. It seemed like my daughter was "almost there" for over a year before finally at a full 3 1/2, it kicked in. You can use pull-ups for now if you want to, unless you want to be cleaning up accidents multiple times a day for potentially another year. You can let her choose when she's ready to "keep her panties dry". You've given her the basic skills, no punishment, and provide incentive - the rest is up to her. Just keep it up.

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C.S.

answers from Houston on

READ Toilet Training in Less than a Day, it works! It gives ways to give them ownership of it... fantastic info and a quick read.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Here's a really helpful site that gives some great "readiness" checklists, plus the skinny on the various approaches to potty-training, their advantages and challenges. It's fantastic that you've got a daughter who's willing to sit on the potty and has some success with it. But based on what you describe, I wonder whether she is ready for success yet. See if you can find your situation here: http://www.parentingscience.com/toilet-training-readiness...

Potty training is ultimately a process that the child must control, or else she's not trained. A number of factors are needed for potty training to succeed: the child must be able to notice and recognize the urge before it happens, she must have adequate sphincter control and the ability to hold it long enough to get to the potty, she must understand the point of training, and she must want to be trained. And, as in your daughter's case, she must connect with the body sensations that indicate complete voiding. It sounds like at least one or two of these is still missing for your sweetie.

It's helpful to know that night training is a whole separate step for many children, and can lag a year (or several) behind day training – although some kids stay dry all night even before they're day trained. But for many children, their sleep is too heavy for the full-bladder signal to get through, and/or the sphincter isn't strong enough to hold a full bladder. They really are not doing this on purpose, and many of them are horrified and ashamed of not being able to stay dry through the night.

Sometimes rewards work in the short run if only motivation is lacking. But that introduces the very real possibility that rewards/bribes will need to escalate to keep him motivated, and that is a mistake that you will seriously regret someday.

So, what I would suggest is that, as hard as this will be, you drop your expectations about "training." Tell your daughter you are proud of how well she's growing up, and express your confidence that she will use the potty when she's ready. And she will (it sounds like your daughter is getting close to ready). Kids WANT to make this developmental step when they're able, just as they want to walk and talk when they're able. Your daughter will probably need some "space" to work it through for herself – to focus on her sensations, on cause and effect, and not on mommy or possible rewards. Or she may need a few more weeks or months.

Almost all of the kids I've known who trained the fastest, often in a day or a few days, simply arrived at that point themselves, and when they expressed interest, their parents acted as "assistants" or "facilitators" rather than "teachers" or "trainers." There's a wide range of ages when this can happen, but it's usually somewhere between 24 and 40 months (usually on the earlier end of the spectrum for girls).

Meanwhile, you can continue to make all your messages about using the bathroom as positive as possible. That can include modeling how easy/quick it is for you or Daddy, reading potty books or watching potty videos, having his toys/stuffed animals role-play pottying, and in general making a game of it. With my grandson, once he could do it but didn't want to take the time, I would go into the bathroom and begin noisily ejecting all the dinosaurs that were crowding the room and sitting all over the toilet seat. My grandson couldn't resist that game, and would come in and help me wrestle the beasts, and claim his spot on the toilet.

ADDED: In case you find this useful, here's an earlier request, in which no fewer than 7 moms replied with success stories about waiting for their children to indicate readiness themselves: 7 responses!! http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/6651391040949452801#re...

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