Okay, so I've decided to let the cup at night issue go for now, BUT I am getting SO frustrated...how do I get my daughter to understand that she has to tell me BEFORE she goes potty? She goes in her pull-up and THEN tells me. She'll go on the potty if I keep reminding her, and if I put her on the potty when she happens to need to go. I don't think she gets it. Should I just relax and let her get there on her own? On weeknights when I get home from work I put her right on the potty as soon as we get home, but after that I don't really think of it until after dinner, when she poops. ALSO, a lot of times she tells me she needs to go, but then sits there and plays until I have to make her get up, and I'm never sure if I'm just rushing her, or what. How long should I let her sit there, if she doesn't have to go? As you can tell, I've got a few things going on here, and I'm ALL confused...help, please?!
Thanks everyone for your very helpful responses...we're going slow but getting there bit by bit. This weekend she was in panties unless she was in bed, and we only had ONE accident! Thanks again! Also, I have found a new friend here on Mamasource as a result of this request, so lots of good things are happening!
Last week on the Today show they had the Potty Whispher
If you go to the Today show website think it is on nbc.com ang search potty whispe. The segment should pop up
Hi A.,
A friend of mine sent me your potty training question. I'm a Mommy & Me teacher in Boca and the author of the Potty Training Answer Book. You are absolutely right that your daughter isn't "ready" until she chooses to "read" her body signals before she goes potty. And no, you cannot "rush" her because that often leads to power struggles. But you can create a "positive potty environment" that gives her more and more potty independence - continue with your routine reminders but also tell her to "listen" for signals from her body - those funny feelings when the poop and pee are ready to come out. Stay positive about your daughter learning to understand and take care of her body. Independence is fun when it's safe and attainable. Here's a link to an article about Putting the Fun back in Potty Training - http://www.familytimeinc.com/pottytrainingbook/potty-fun.php
Good luck!!! I promise it's much easier when you take the stress out of potty training.
Dear A.
Please relax yourself on this issue! Your baby girl will go when she is ready. It is good to let her see how you go to the bathroom too. That is how I first taught my 2 girls. they watched me go sit on the toilet, so they wanted to be big girls and soon they were both going on their own. My almost 4 year old is having a lot of accidents. She is so worried that she may miss something, she waits too late; and I am patiently explaining that big girls know not to wait so long! I'm sure this is a stage too. Every child has their own pace for everything. Good luck and try to relax, before you drive yourself crazy! Good luck!
Kathy N.
Get the book "Toilet Training in Less than a Day," by Azrin and Foxx.
Good Luck,
S.
How old is your daughter? Does she already talk a lot and communicate other things about her body in words? For instance, does she tell you in words that she's hungry, or does she gesture at you or cry or whatever? If she's not talking a lot yet, she might not be capable of warning you before she goes in her pull-ups. Some children potty train later than others, and she might not be ready to control this part of her body yet.
There's a great book written more than 20 years ago, I think it's called "Toilet Training in a Day" or maybe it's "Potty Training in a Day." This book explains how to get the message across very gently and patiently, without making the child feel bad about the situation. For some reason, kids have to learn to control their urine before they can master their poop; I'm not sure which bodily function you're talking about in your message. Start small; remember this is a new concept to her, and remember that some of the affection and nurturing she gets from you comes from taking care of her diapering needs. Remember that you're asking her to give up that part of the attention you've been giving her all her life; try substituting some other form of attention or reward for what she'll lose by doing this herself.
I would try putting her in Training pants, and get her out of the pull ups. Doesn't your daycare mom help you with this while you are at work?
Try getting her books on potty training. I used Once upon of Potty and it came with a DVD. In addition, you can use a treasure chest. Every time she tells you she has to go to the potty and successfully goes, let her pick something out of the the treasure chest. (go to the dollar store a pick little toys.)
or
Use the sticker system. Every time she successfully goes, give her a sticker on a sticker chart. When she gets 10 stickers let her pick a toy from the treasure chest. (the treasure chest can be a basket)
or
give her a MM or a small piece of candy when she successfully goes. (I would use this as a last resort because i am not big on using candy as a reward but it has worked with other people I know.
With my daughter I used a lot of positive reinforcement. When she would successfully go to the bathroom, I would call one of her grandparents or someone she has a close relationship with and tell them what a great job she was doing and i would let her tell them what she did on the potty. I would also mention it in conversation with friends and family and made sure she was listening. (of course the friends were people who had gone through potty training or in the process of potty training)
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just completed the 3-day Potty Training Method, which you have to dedicate 3 days. That means not leaving the house at all and paying close attention to you child the entire 3 days. You must continuously say to your child "Let Mommy know when you need to go potty". Do not ask if they have to go because they need to know the signs to let you know. You actually have them in a diaper first thing in the morning on the day you are starting and have them throw out their diapers and then put them into underwear. You do not use diapers at night either. It worked for us. My daughter has had a few accidents, but she is doing fantastic. You also need to stop her from drinking at least 2 hrs. before bedtime. We kept a chart of every time she went on the potty with stars. We did that for 2 weeks and then we used a different chart for #2 and also rewarded with 3 mini-m&m's. Good Luck
