Potty Training - Wilmington,MA

Updated on August 16, 2010
L.B. asks from Acton, MA
13 answers

Hi Moms! I could use the benefit of your collective experience and wisdom. My daughter turned three in June and we have been plodding along with potty training without a lot of progress. She doesn't seem to have much awareness of when she needs to go. I know that that can take time to develop, as can being able to hold it until she gets to the potty. So far, any successes we've had seem to be by chance. She does generally tell me after she has peed or or pooped in her pull up. Today, I put her in cotton training pants instead of pull-ups to try to help her recognize the feeling she gets before she goes and gets wet. Twice, she said she needed to go, sat on the potty for several minutes with no result, and then peed her pants less than two minutes later. Clearly, there must have been urine in her bladder when she was on the potty but she didn't go then. Do you all have any suggestions for helping her to recognize when she needs to go, or how to go on the potty when she can? Any advice on next steps would be much appreciated!

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

I agree. Take the pull ups away! At that age, I think potty training boot camp works very well. Take a weekend, give lots of fluids - milk, water, juice, whatever. And set a timer so that you put her on the potty every 30-45 minutes. With my oldest - I had to make him sit there until he went (he was rather resistant to the idea of potty training) but my middle would go every time. Rewards for successes can help too (oldest had a bunch of cheap toys to choose from, middle liked the m&m/heshey kiss rewards).

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L.M.

answers from Visalia on

I know all children are different so I will tell you what worked for my daughter. We started on Memorial Day Weekend (when both my husband and I had a three day weekend), she was about 20 months old. Leading up to it we explained to her that she will not be weraing any more diapers, just underoos and we had been reading a book about potty training to her for about two weeks so she was familiar with the idea. Get one in a character she really enjoys.

She really enjoys almonds as a snack so I took away all almond privelages a few days before (so she would really want them). I was hesitant on the reward policy but it worked. For those three days we went no where (no exaggeration) and literally lived in the bathroom. We dedicated those three days to her, it was essentially a potty training boot camp (without any harsh conditions :). We pumped her FULL of liquids and foods high in fiber (for her bowel movements). We started with a timer and put her on the potty every 15 minutes, we never pushed her to the point of tears, we did not want the potty to be associated with crying. Then we moved it to 30 minutes and by the end of the weekend we were putting her on it every hour.

We did not do pull ups as they work like a diaper to pull the moisture away from the skin, we used the cotton training pants. We have also allowed her to see us use the bathroom since she was able to walk and we placed the potty chair in the bathroom a few months prior to starting so she was familiar with it. Find something she likes and use it as an incentive. Dr. Phil reccommends using a doll as a potty training method (the dolls that pee). I did not use this as we did not need it. We had accidents, it will happen and you will get frustrated but try not to as she will pick up on it. Don't get angry over accidents. Her bowel movements were pretty regular (between 9-10 in the morning and between 6-7 at night) so every day around those times we would just sit in the bathroom until she went, sometimes that meant 45 minute sessions but I had books and toys in there with her.

They have videos geared towatds helping children understand the sensations, we did not need them but I have heard they helped. My daughter just turned two last week and is completely potty trained, naps and nights.

The first day my husband and I were thinking we got in over our head but it got easier and within a week we no longer had to sit her on the potty, she was telling us when she had to go. Just use words you don't mind her yelling at a restaurant :)

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

She is having performance anxiety. Just hang tight, she is getting it. It takes time for some of them. Just be positive and keep at it.

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B.L.

answers from Boston on

Pick a weekend, put a potty in every room you hang out in (borrow if you have to) and have her go naked from the waist down for the entire weekend (during the day only). Be prepared to clean up a few accidents (maybe hang out in the rooms where it's easier to clean). It's a lot more obvious when the pee starts running down her leg and really connects the sensations to needing to pee... and the potty is close so that she can get there. Ask her if she needs to go often -- like every 20 minutes or so -- set a timer if you have to. She'll catch on. It's just a matter of her really learning what it feels like. After she gets the idea, keep naked on the bottom at home for a while (the article I read said 3 months) and only loose pants or skirts when you go out. Keep a potty seat in the car, because you don't get much warning when they're little.

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C.C.

answers from Boston on

I put underwear on my 3 year old as soon as we get home and he then knows to use the potty. He will go and use it without even telling me! If he is wearing his pull-ups however, he will not use the potty.

J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

I haven't potty trained my son yet, but have been reading a lot about it.

One thought about her sitting on the pot for several minutes .... does she have a special toy or book or something that she can do while she sits on the pot? We keep a basket of kids magazines (National Geographic Kids) so my son looks through about 4 of those while he sits on the potty (no luck yet, but I'm not really training him yet, just letting him know what the potty's for).

As far as my reading, from a trusted author, they basically say to do the same thing Leeann suggested - rewards. They say to reward the child when they stay clean and dry (have the child check). Then reward the child again when they use the potty. You can give rewards all day long if they stay clean and dry. If you only give rewards when they use the potty, then they're not getting rewards very often. BTW - the book I refer to is "Potty Training 1-2-3" by Ezzo (Ezzo also co-wrote the book Babywise - that's why I call him a trusted author. Babywise worked for me to get my son to sleep thru the night).

Good luck!

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H.W.

answers from Lewiston on

I'm a big fan of doing it all at once rather than working on it over a long period of time. We never did pull-ups. We picked a 4 day period and prepared our daughter (25 months at the time) ahead of time by reading books about the potty. She preferred a kid seat on the potty rather than a potty since that was more like mom and dad.

We just took away the diapers (other than nap and night-time) and she experienced the feeling of needing to pee and peeing. The first day we had mostly accidents in her clothes, but she didn't like being wet and having to change. Then the next day she had several accidents but several successes too. This day I was better because I regularly had her try sitting on the potty every 15 minutes. Then by day 3 it was like she "got it." She only had once accident and then hardly any accidents after that. IMO, it's much harder for parents than kids because being consistent is hard. The first time I took her to the grocery store or out and about, I was really nervous and tempted to put her in a diaper, but I think you've got to be clear and consistent- no more diapers. I did give her a chocolate chip each time she peed or pooped in the potty and that worked well. After a few weeks, she forgot about the treat. Good luck!

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Sounds like she's close to ready – maybe not quite there yet, since she's not too sure about those urges.

For many kids, training before they have a strong enough relationship with the physical sensations is really just training yourself to get her to the potty often enough, or making her sit long enough, to get lucky. Every child I know whose parents waited until they became interested and self-motivated has trained in only a couple of days to a couple of weeks.

And kids DO become interested and motivated when they're ready (unless long, boring or stressful "training" has already soured them on the whole process). Just like walking and talking, bladder and poop control are natural stages of development, and they will happen when the body and nervous system are matured enough. For most kids with no developmental issues, this usually happens somewhere between 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 (or somewhat later for boys).

It's good to be aware that many children manage all training in one fell swoop, but sometimes poop training or night-time dryness are separate stages. Every child's development is unique.

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

Take the pullups AWAY!! My daughter never had any progress with them. They're basically a diaper. She would be fine all day and then if I put a pullup on her, she would pee in it without a thought even though she rarely has an accident without them. Just keep taking her potty and tell her to push her pee out. We're still working on the poop thing, but she's got herself "pee trained" lol.

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J.S.

answers from Boston on

Hi there - you've gotten all sorts of advice but I will chime in. My daughter was similar to yours - she had expressed interest in the potty and we had one but she didn't really go on it consistently until she was about 2.5. I must say it just sort of happened - we started wearing the cotton underpants (no pull ups) during the day and after many accidents, she finally just started going to the potty - we didn't pressure her or do any bootcamp. When she was ready she did it. We are still working on night time and nap time - sometimes she's dry sometimes she's not so we still wear a pullup at those times. I am confident she'll get it. We never used stickers or m&m's or anything, and poop took much longer than pee.

God luck - sounds like you are on the right track she just needs more time.

S.K.

answers from Boston on

Hi L.,

the cotton pants are the way to go - my daughter regressed in the pull ups. i just had to suck it up and go with the trianing pants and she got it alot quicker.

not necessarily a tip to recognize when to go.... but when she's on there have her sign a song. that will distract her enough to relax and let the pee come out (for the times when she pees right after being on there). I do this with my daughter - she's fully trained, but i still have her sing ABC's when i want her to try to go ( like before leaving the house). she always says "i don't have to go...." but 90% of the time when i make her sing the song, she's peeing before she hits letter C.... if she makes it to Z with out going, atleast i tell her thanks for trying.....

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K.D.

answers from Providence on

Bring a book in with her if she said she needed to go and then sat and did nothing then shortly after had a accident she may not be relaxing herself enough so if you get her to relax and read a book or wait just a little longer she may have more luck make a sticker chart for every potty trip that produces pee or poop this age they thrive on stickers and positive reinforement.....she'll do it patience.....

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E.M.

answers from Boston on

sounds like she is getting close, telling you after she has gone...
I agree with the other posters, get rid of the pull ups, go for the cotton training undies, it will help her to get it. My daughter trained at 3 years, 3 months (after her preschool teachers encouraged us to "go for it!"). It took a few days for her to get the hang of it, and she did have a few poop accidents, but she did get the hang of it pretty quickly after that. Just keep her well hydrated and make sure she is in clothes she can manage, like leggings and things with elastic waists, no buttons or snaps!
Good Luck!
We also read lots of books about potty training, and even a video or two - it helped to reinforce the concepts we were working on.
Good Luck!

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