Potty Training - Lynn Haven,FL

My daughter was showing similar "readiness signs" at around the same age (and also highly communicative!) She continued to have accidents (very similar to what you mentioned.) She's now 37 months and fully trained ~ peepee and poopoo. It has taken a long time, a lot of accidents and a lot of patience. She was very headstrong... and we added a little brother taking some of her attention away to the mix so I just had to let her lead me and not push too hard.
Sorry that I can't offer you any concrete advice other than to say, keep doing what you are doing. She will "get it" soon... she's probably just a few months (or sooner) away.

I have 3 children. My first 2 were potty trained by their second birthday and my 3rd (a boy) is 2 years, 5 months old and he is potty trained as well and he keeps dry during the night as well. I do not believe in the idea that a child is "ready" to be trained. There comes a time when we as parents must direct/instruct our children to learn a task. They will show unwillingness to learn this task, whatever the task may be, because it is new to them and babies typically do not do well with change or learning something new.

So, your daughter is 29 months and refusing to use the toilet. How I potty trained my children is by removing their diaper during the day. Let them run around all day long without a diaper. Put her on the toilet every 30 minutes or every hour. Tell her, "It's time to go potty..." Some children will show you that they have to go by doing a "pee-pee" dance and it's up to you to observe when this happens and place her on the toilet. She is to remain there until she does something. I "rewarded" my children with Gerber gummy treats. You can find them in the baby food aisle in your grocery store. I'd only give them ONE treat (not the whole bag or more than one) for going potty in the toilet. The sticker is nice but the "treat" is something that tastes really good (and it's healthy) and it serves as a tasty reminder that she will get ONE every time she goes potty in the toilet. Take her little undies off during the day and don't punish her. The point is to encourage this new "task" and while it may take time for her to get the hang of this new thing you are insisting she learn, she will learn it. You must be persistent with this. You must insist she potty on the toilet and not allow her off the toilet until she uses it. What to do if she pees on the floor? You tell her that pee-pee goes in the toilet. You take her to the toilet, place her on the seat and say in a firm voice, "We don't go to the bathroom on the floor. Big girls go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet to go potty." Point to her tummy and remind her that her is pee-pee and poopy in there and it needs to come out so it doesn't make her tummy hurt. Children understand...don't underestimate what they understand. Be patient but also be persistent. Good luck.

Sounds like it may be a timing thing, so she just hasn't had a chance to make the connection yet. I am now potty training my second child, and went about it a little differently this time around, and it seems to be working much better. SInce bowel movements are often more predictable (or at least more noticeable) try putting her on the potty around the time she would normally poop in her diaper. If she does not go after five minutes, be done with it, wash up, and forget about it. After a few days she might actually poop in the potty almost by accident (and normally with the poop comes pee at the same time) at which time you want to make a really BIG deal about it...sing the potty song, dance, high-five, praise, have her flush and say bye bye to the poopoo. Also, anytime moment you notice her "poopy face" or other telltale signs, rush her to the potty right away, and let her go on the toilet. And, same thing, if she goes in the potty (even if it is just to finish what she already sarted in her diaper), do all of the above. I started doing this with my son a few months ago, and he is only 22 months now and I have not changed a poopy diaper in almost two months, and he now tells me very clearly when he has to poop. He just caught on to the idea that poopy goes in the potty, and pee pee naturally followed right along with that. I never had to use treats or stickers or anything, just the verbal praise and excitement. I do not consider him potty trained, and still keep a pull-up on him, as he still needs my help in the bathroom, and does occasionally wet the pull-up, but I am grateful at least to not have to change anymore poopy diapers. With my older son, I did the traditional pee-pee training first, believing (as I had read) that poppy would naturally follow. But that was much more difficult and he even became afraid to poop in the potty which left us with another hurdle to overcome. And, BTW, we never used the little potty chair this time, just right on the big potty with a sturdy step stool to support his feet. I think I would rather change a poopy diaper than try to clean poop out of a plastic potty chair.

Hi, Dear. Maybe she is afraid of the potty. She is old enough to know that if there is a hole, she can fall into it. Are you using the regular big adult-sized toilet? She may be afraid of it because it's just too big, with a hole that looks like it could swallow her up. Try a potty chair, which I know is a little messier because you have to empty and clean it, but that might get her sitting down and using it.

Also, you can let her watch you going potty yourself. Show her that you never, ever, slip through the hole, and it feels good to do potty in the toilet. Show her how much cleaner and nicer it is. Seriously, she will want to do what you're doing, and may not connect with the fact that all humans do it in the toilet.

You can also get a thing to put over the hole in the seat which makes it a hole that's little-kid-sized instead of huge adult-sized. I really think that if she's got the rest of the routine down, she's scared of the hole or just doesn't connect the process all the way.

Peace,
syl

I think Tina nailed it right on the head!
I have 4 children and am currently training #3 and she is a girl and 28 mos. When she wakes in the morning we take off her diaper and she wears nothing all day. She knows where her special potty is and she either tells me she has to go or she goes into her potty herself. Yes, in the beginning there were mistakes but we started in October and haven't had a mistake in over 6 weeks. In the beginning you must ask her every half hour or so "Do you need to go potty?" She will have to think about it for a minute and then say "Oh, OK!"
This a lesson your going to have to initiate. Don't leave it up to the child. Pretty panties and potties are not going to help her go, you are! Last time I read my 'Mom resume" it was in the job description.

Potty training is a challenging time for both parent and child. One thing I learned with my now-3-year-old daughter is that you cannot make a child use the potty. Even her doctor told me that all kids have a predetermined age at which they will be trained. If you start 6 months before they're truly ready, the process will take 6 months. If you start a week before, it'll take a week. In my case, Emily was doing really well and I thought she'd be trained at 2, but then her baby sister was born and she wanted her diapers. I just let her have the diapers and kept asking her if she wanted to use the potty. When she was interested again, I started by putting her on the potty every 2 hours. Whether she went or not we praised her. Eventually she started using the potty, and now she goes by herself all of the time. So it will happen! Everyone eventually learns to use the potty!

One thing you can do is keep a log for a few days to get a sense of her patterns. Then you can make sure she gets on the potty at the appropriate times. For example, my daughter always poops about 30 minutes after breakfast. So I make sure we're still home so she can go before we leave the house. IT takes a little extra work on your part but most kids are pretty regular and you'll be able to get her to the potty when she needs to go. Also, try to look for her cues before she goes--does she hold herself, go off into a corner or closet, etc? If you see a potty cue, take her to the potty.

Elmo's Potty Time is a great DVD that helps kids understand the whole process without any pressure. Best of luck to you and remember that she WILL use the potty someday!

I have a 13 yr old daughter that took at least 2 years to be potty trained... I am not sure if one can fit every child into a mold and say "you are now X months old and should be potty trained already", is that part of their milestones? With my daughter it was a big mistake because she would hold from having a bowel movement afraid of using the potty and not having the pull-ups where she could "go".... we had to give her mineral oil, prune juice, raisings, anything you could imagine to soften her bowels because after a day or two of that, they became hard and very painful to pass.... she would hold it for 3-4 days at times so we had no choice but to start using a suppository because it was the only way she'd get the urge. It would break my heart to see her like that, and all I could do was hold her hand and be there for her until it passed... it was traumatic for her and me as well. This continued well into her older years 3-4yrs old; we took her to many doctors to hear the same outcome, constipation... the only thing that truly helped her in the end was drinking lots and lots of water... But I am certain to this day that if we had not insisted in switching from training pants to regular underwear to force her into having to use the potty, we would have avoided her years of agony... at 13 she is now perfectly normal... thank God. So please, be careful with pushing your little girl if she is not ready, there are worse things that can happen besides not being potty trained in a timely manner.

It sounds like she really just likes the idea of doing what you do-- wiping, flushing, washing hands, wearing panties-- but that doesn't mean she is ready to be potty trained. Ready means both emotionally and physicaly ready, but it doesn't sound like she is physically ready. I remember with my daughter, I didn't let her wipe or flush unless she actually went pee-- I didn't want to make a game of it

Good morning, I am a mother of one child a girl. She was three in Oct and she is potty trained. I really did not have a hard time with her because she wanted to be a big girl and a princess. But for a short time she decided that she was not going to go to the potty and then at night she would go in her sleep even if I made her go potty, so I told her that if she was going to go in her pants then she would have to wear puulups until she was a big girl. She quickly decided that she wanted to be a big girl because she went to day care and her best freind was trying to be a big girl. Now I did make sure between the school and myself we made her go every two hours to potty even if she did not go. So maybe you can try one of these methods. If not then I guess she will let me know when she might be ready. Hope something works out for you.

i used to work in a daycare and i worked with the 2 yos. so i was the potty trainer. i would say that typically it takes about 1-2 weeks to potty train a child who is "ready". that being said i have worked with my son who is your daughters age for about 2mths. he did really well and then stopped going potty. i let him run around the house naked, and yes, we had accidents, but he got right back on target and is in undies and doing very well, except at night. lord willing it will keep going as well. maybe you should let her run around naked.

Hi J..
My little girl was very interested in imitating me and wanting to flush the potty, etc also. Happily, she learned very quickly and learned night-time dryness just as easily. That's not always the case.
I would "run" with it.. Rather than get stressed or assume she is being willful about it, just realize that she doesn't understand the sensation of going in the potty, or necessarily connect the feelings she has when she goes in her diaper with the concept of what you are (she is supposed to be) doing in the potty. As embarrassing as it is... SHOW her what you do when you are sitting on the potty. What I mean by that is, let her see that the water is clear then after you are finished let her see that it is yellow, or has poo in it. Tell her, "See? Mommy went potty!" She may have some questions and that is an excellent time to give her more info on what happens/how it works... (the leftover food/drink your body doesn't use has to come out of your body; or the waste [trash] has to be taken out; whatever explanation helps her understand). When you notice her looking uncomfortable or making "the poopy face"... pick her up and rush her to the toilet... help her get her clothes out of the way and onto the toilet quickly and let her "put it" in the toilet. Then congratulate her, do the potty dance, etc... this is a BIG DEAL!!! Once she's washed up, offer her a sticker (for a chart) or a piece of candy (ONE of something small... lifesavers worked for us. Some people use a single M&M. Whatever you like), and be sure she understands that it is because she put her pee or poop into the toilet. Every time she does, she gets ONE (sticker or candy). If she goes to the potty, but nothing happens... sigh and say "maybe next time" or "we'll have to try again in a little while", but no reward is given.
In the very beginning, you will have to take her periodically throughout the day. Set up a schedule if you want (every hour maybe). For me, I just watched what they were up to. Sometimes there is a certain thing they do (a look, a face, a place they like to go, or they just get really STILL)... especially after meals... I'd say within 15 minutes after a meal or drink, would be a good time to initiate a try at the potty. But don't be super rigid about it... that just adds pressure to you and her and that is not a feeling you want her to associate with the potty.
My daughter, once she got a good hang of it (she was in training pants - the cotton kind- on her 2nd birthday) LOVED to go to public bathrooms. I would get so annoyed. I made SURE that she went JUST before we left the house, but as soon as we would go into the store (grocery, walmart, whatever) and got to the farthest point from the bathrooms it seemed, she would have to go. It was endlessly entertaining to her I think. But she DID go, every time. It was almost a game. But I took her and tried hard not to be upset.. because she was magnificent at NOT having accidents!
Once she learns to associate the feelings with the actual act of peeing/pooping in the potty she should do great! That is what she needs to be taught... learning the association... that is what the rushing her to the potty helps accomplish. Watch for her signs and use the knowledge. BIG PARTY when she has success!
Have fun! And don't get stressed over any of it... that doesn't accomplish anything good for either of you. Try to ONLY make positive comments. If you try hard, you can ALWAYS see/say something with a positive spin... That's what your daughter will need to hear from you.
Good luck!

J.,

I know that potty training can be a trying task. However, she is showing interest. With something like this and her showing interest in going potty here is what I suggest. I am currently working on potty training my 3rd son (not going so well either). Try taking her in and putting her on the potty every 30 minutes whether you think she needs to go or not. Eventually she will go on the potty and when she does you make a very big deal about it, and every time she does for the first couple of weeks that you are doing this you make a big deal out of it. This way she gets the idea, once she sees this she will want to make you happy and continue to want to go on the potty. The other thing I have had to do in the past with my middle son is put him on the training toilet in front of the tv with his favorite movie and a sippy cup of juice and make him sit there until he went peepee on the potty and then made a big deal about it. Sometimes you just have to get creative about how to do it with each child. My third son just refuse to want to do anything with the potty or training underwear.

I wish you the best of luck.

S.
35 y/o SAHM of 3 boys
14, 6 and 3